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13 years of (not always) wedded bliss

Today, Sunday, 9 August 2015, Walter and I have been married for 13 years. Next month we will have been together for a total of 15 years. It seems almost impossible. The time has gone by so fast and in other ways it feels like we’ve already spent a life time together. We have good days and bad days. We fight. We love. We are best friends and sometimes enemies. We’ve been tested and faced some incredible struggles together, and somehow we are still together, somehow we make it through, a little battered, a little bruised, but we make it through.

Take a walk with me down memory lane will you… 15 years of memories together.

Wine Farm

We met in real life way back in 2000. After having emailed each other jokes and rubbish for nearly two years, I’d been in a relationship with someone else, he was young, we “met” online but only actually met and started dating two years later.

Us

He was 24 and I was 28 and I had never met anyone quite like him. Independent and mature but still very childish and funny, oh he was funny, Walter still has the best sense of humour out of anyone I know.

Ellies

A year later, I’d moved across the country, from Cape Town to Jo’burg to be with him and we’d gotten engaged.

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A year later, in 2002, we got married and shortly there after I had my first miscarriage and we faced our first and toughest trial as a couple.  7 years of infertility that very nearly ripped us apart.

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We also had lots of adventure. From 2003 to 2005, we lived in Maputo, Mozambique. It was the best and worst times of our lives, filled with fun, laughter and adventure.

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After moving back from Mozambique, we started having fertility treatment, like as in the big guns, this was when all our IVF’s and my surgeries would take place. You guys, it was the toughest time of our lives, for me especially as it was physically very demanding. If you have friends who are going through this, be kind to them.

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But through it all, we managed to stay friends, only just sometimes and somehow we got through it. Somehow we still had good days and we were still able to laugh and be silly together!

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And then a miracle happened and we became what we’d longed for… a family of 3! But instead of living happily ever after, we were faced with a new struggle… how to repair our tattered and torn marriage that had taken an absolute beating over the 7 years of our infertility. We went so far as talking about a separation pending divorce but thankfully, after nearly a year of intensive marriage counselling, we found our way back to each other again.

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Because life is rarely simple. In our quest to add to our family after Ava, we would go through two failed adoptions and one adoption loss before being blessed again with Hannah.

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And finally we got our family of 4 and our happily ever after……

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But there really is no such thing as happily ever after is there?

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And there are still tough times and good times.

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And times when I love him and times when I’m not even sure I like him.

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And times when he makes me laugh and times when he makes me so mad I could bash his head in.

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But I love him. Even when I hate him, I love him and I guess that’s why we still work, even after all these years, after all these trials, after all the grief, the sadness, the failures, the joy, the triumphs, I love him. I can’t be without him, even on his worst days and believe me, he can be a grump, I still wouldn’t choose to live my life without him.

Forever and always my love…..

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Because babe… you’ve got something I need…..

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53 Comments

  • Reply Andrea

    You’ve said it perfectly- we love them even when we hate them. And we couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Congratulations to you both!

    August 9, 2015 at 7:35 am
  • Reply Amanda

    Love this post Sharon and I can totally relate… Not always a perfect marriage but we somehow make it work!

    August 9, 2015 at 7:53 am
  • Reply jozidonj

    Happy anniversary Sharon & Walter. Such fun pics. Reminds me a little of hubby and I. Have a great day also celebrating Women’s Day.

    August 9, 2015 at 7:59 am
  • Reply Stian & Elize

    Beautiful! Happy anniversary you guys!!! Hope you have many many many more blessed years together. We love you xxx

    August 9, 2015 at 8:57 am
  • Reply Sian

    Congrats to a wonderful couple. Xx

    August 9, 2015 at 10:05 am
  • Reply Sula

    It looks like you have had a wonderful journey together, happy anniversary

    August 9, 2015 at 11:09 am
  • Reply Laverne Vermeulen

    What a beautiful real love story this is. Congrats!

    August 9, 2015 at 12:34 pm
  • Reply Mrs FF

    HApply anniversary. Here’s to many more years

    August 10, 2015 at 8:45 am
  • Reply catjuggles

    Happy happy anniversary to you guys! I never knew you had a similar age difference to us (I am 5 years older)

    August 11, 2015 at 9:12 am
  • Reply Marcia (123 blog)

    Congratulations! It’s hard work, this marriage thing, hey? But worth it!

    August 11, 2015 at 10:24 pm
  • Reply Marriage – My tips for staying together

    […] my post on our 13th wedding anniversary the other day – 13 years of (not always) wedded bliss – I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what makes a successful marriage, note I said […]

    August 13, 2015 at 9:01 am
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