2 More BCP’s

And my anxiety levels are through the roof. Since yesterday I’ve been having heart palpitations and what feels like shortness of breathe with loads of butterflies in my tummy.

I think the reality of IVF #4 has finally hit home and suddenly I’m not that excited. In fact I’m feeling so anxious I’ve even thought about postponing the whole process. Except I’ll be even more anxious if I do that.

I’m not looking forward to the daily injections, to the constant discomfort, to feeling like my ovaries are being shot with rubber bands and that my insides will explode each time I laugh/sneeze/cough/use the loo as my ovaries are stimulated and work about 10x harder than they normally would.

I’m nervous for the ER – mostly because my last ER was so horrifically traumatic so I’m really looking forward to getting that part behind me.

But then there is the psychological torture of fertilization reports and the 2ww.

But for now I’m trying to focus on just controlling my anxiety, of nothing thinking about all the pass/fail points, about all the what if’s…………….

16 Comments

  • Abbey

    February 24, 2009 at 9:32 am

    So exciting and so bloody frightning at the same time! I’ll be praying for you every step of the way and hoping for that BFP at the finish line….even though we all know the BFP is just the beginning. With Dr G as your doctor and so many people praying for you I can only believe that it will happen for you.

    Sending you lots of love, luck and prayer!

    Reply
  • Yvonne

    February 24, 2009 at 9:47 am

    I know it’s easier said than done, but I think Elize’s advice is great – try to look no further than each day and what your goals are for that day. Each day, each task completed is one step further to your goal.

    Big, big hugs – we’re all here for you and ‘egg’ing (lol) you on!!!!!

    xxx

    Reply
  • 'Murgdan'

    February 24, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    I cannot even imagine…really, can’t imagine. Hang in there. Oh, and I’ll try to see if I find anything re: the BPPV today. I don’t know any tricks or info off the top of my head, sorry.

    Reply
  • Callie

    February 24, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    I think Elize said it best – one day at a time. I think IVF is one of those rare cases where experience does not make things easier – in fact, just the opposite.

    I really hope this is the one for you!

    ICLW

    Reply
  • Joni

    February 24, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    You’re RaRa Girl is….. all dressed in Neon Pink Lycra with her PomPoms at the ready……… two more days and I’ll be shouting go Shari Go Shari GO SHARI…. (oohhh mental picture I shudder violently!!!)

    Reply
  • janin

    February 24, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    oh honey just sending you a hugest hug and like everyone else says just one day one moment one second at a time keep putting one foot in front of the other and dont look down! Jxxxx

    Reply
  • stacey

    February 24, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    I’ll echo what the others have said here: one day at a time. I never thought I’d make it through any of this. A friend asked the other day how I’ve done it and I told her that I just try to make it through the day – and the next thing I know I’ve made it through a week, a month, a year.
    I know it won’t be easy at all, but I know you can do this! I’m rooting for you and praying for you!!!

    Reply
  • samcy

    February 25, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    You’re doing really well my friend.

    And I’m not going to say don’t worry / be anxious cos you’re going to be… what I am going to say is try and take it each day as it comes. Try not think about ER until you get there. It really helped me cope better by approaching it like this, this time round.

    You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

    xxx

    Reply

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