Warrior Women

Infertility, its an odd journey, its full of surprises and set backs and twists and turns. I think its something we can all agree on, we all embarked on this journey with a set goal and a set idea of what we’d be willing to do in order to achieve that goal but for the bulk of us unfortunate enough not to have success with the entry level options, our idea of what we’d be willing to do changes rather drastically.

My journey is a case in point. I started out on this journey being so utterly terrified of a needle that the first beta test I ever had was so traumatic that I cried pitifully the whole way through it. Then after surviving a number of threatened and then actual miscarriages and having loads of blood tests done, the fear of a blood test decreased and I started thinking about going to see an RE. That was a big hurdle for me, because I don’t especially like Dr’s and I just new that once we got there there would be a bunch more unpleasant tests. I remember crying my heart out after my first consultation and hearing the news that I required a laparoscopy. I remember being utterly terrified for the administration of my first trigger injection and even more terrified of my first stimmed (Gonal F) stimmed/triggered cycle. When we moved onto IVF I was scared of the daily injections and of the egg retrieval, I was very afraid of the egg retrieval. Then I had my second and third IVF’s and they didn’t seem so bad…. then we moved backwards to IUI, which after IVF seemed likea  cake walk in comparison for me.

One of the reasons why I delayed my move over to Vitalab was because I was afraid of going through all the poking and prodding and testing all over again. But, the finish line moved again and so I made the move. They poked, they prodded and they tested and then they announced that I required another laparoscopy and this time I was a little scared but not tearful and overwrought with fear like the previous time.  When IVF #4 started I even injected myself, did all my own stimming and trigger injections. I was really proud of how far I had come, from the girl who cried her heart out during a blood test to this warrior woman who could stick needles into herself without flinching.

Another case in point… Something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, something which Martiza’sBFP has confirmed for me… should I require another fresh cycle (and God willing I won’t) after my two FET attempts, then I will be requesting that my next fresh attempt incorporate the GIFT method. In my mind, that speaks volumes of how far I’m (we) are all willing to go to achieve the goal of parenthood. I’m going to willingly request to inject myself daily to stimulate eggs, I’ll then undergo egg retrieval and laparoscopic surgery all in one go, followed by two weeks of Intralipid infusions and self administers Progesterone and Estrogen shots.

Who is this warrior woman? And what happened to the terrified, quivering woman who wanted to faint and the sight of a needle?

Big up’s and respect to ALL of us Warrior Woman!!!

August 27, 2009
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11 Comments

  • Reply Abs

    Oooo….new barbie idea…Braveheart Barbie! I fainted when I had to have my first blood pregnancy test from sheer terror of the needle(when my period never arrived first month off the pill – Oh how naive I was back then!)And here I am 3 years later on my way to a GIFT. I now realise there is no limit to what I will do to be a mom. Thumbs up for all of the brave hearts out there!

    August 27, 2009 at 11:44 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Hahahaha! Yes! And gautanteed Braveheart Barbie will not get on with Naff Barbie, Holier-Than-Though Barbie & She-Thinks-She’s-All-That Barbie!!! 😉 hahahahahaha!!!!

      August 27, 2009 at 1:40 pm
  • Reply Melanie

    You are a brave woman, and an inspiration to me, to do what i need to do to have children. I love this post. Thank you, for being you

    August 27, 2009 at 12:24 pm
  • Reply Lea White

    You are a Warrior Woman – a very inspiring Warrior Woman!

    August 27, 2009 at 12:26 pm
  • Reply Kristin

    You are awesome…a true warrior.

    August 27, 2009 at 1:30 pm
  • Reply C

    For sure, it’s amazing how far we will go and how much we will change in pursuit of our dream. Lets hope it is all worth it in the end.

    August 27, 2009 at 2:06 pm
  • Reply Stacey

    Warrior Women, indeed!

    You made me remember back to the young girl I was who had never had a blood test, an IV, any kind of surgery, and had never been in the hospital. A lot has changed since then, and while I’ve never been terrified of needles, I’m far tougher now than I used to be.
    Oh, but I definitely still have my moments of fear! Thanks for the encouragement on my blog. I hate this for both of us, but I’m glad we met while running this marathon!

    August 27, 2009 at 10:18 pm
  • Reply Elana Kahn

    Go Warrior Woman! I had my first “infertility shot” given to me by a friend who was a doctor, all others I did myself. My hubby doesn’t do well with needles so I didn’t even ask him to do it. lol

    August 28, 2009 at 2:04 am
  • Reply Hillary

    That is so inspiring! I am seriously amazed at all the women I read about who give themselves injections…let along everything that comes with IVF.

    ICLW

    August 28, 2009 at 6:07 am
  • Reply Sian

    Very very true. When we first started DJ said he would NEVER consider IVF and we swiftly moved on to it. At this stage I find that there is very little that I won’t do to have a child. And I find that I’m not scared of physical pain, but terrified to experience the emotional pain. The goal posts do indeed move.

    August 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm
  • Reply SCY

    So very true – I think too often no matter what our trial we face in life we underestimate how strong we are and how far we are willing to go to overcome that trial.

    Warrior Women Unite!!!

    xxx

    August 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm
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