This post has no title… mostly because… I really do not know what to call it. I can’t describe what I’m feeling…….. I’m so grateful and so excited and so afraid and so overwhelmed and so stressed and so happy and so much more than that… there just aren’t any words to explain what I’m feeling.
So I’ll just share a bit about what has transpired in the last 8 hours – this morning my SW called. When I saw her number come up on my phone I wanted to cry. I knew she was either going to give us good news or bad news.
It was good news…… its the most amazing news…… for so many years my heart has yearned for a moment like this……. after so many years we are SO CLOSE! The BM has chosen us! We are flying to Cape Town this weekend to meet her. I’m so afraid! I’m so afraid she’s not going to like us, or something will go wrong. I just know I’m going to cry and I hope she won’t be put off by that!
Today for the first time in years of heartache and unbearable disappointment, I allowed myself to dream a little dream…… and then I acted on it. I went to Woolies, straight into the baby section to buy something for our baby! Only problem is, I’ve spent so many years protecting my heart from hurt that now I feel completely inadequate, I don’t have a clue where to start. After literally standing there scratching my head for half an hour, all I bought was a 3 pack of sleeveless body vests, a 3 pack of short sleeved body vests and a little hat and booties to wear in the maternity ward.
To every single one of you who has cheered us and prayed for us along the way, a heartfelt thank you. Please continue to pray that all continues to go as smoothly and that this will be the blessing we have waited to very long for!