5 Months Ago……….

At this time, 09h30, I was called to the labour ward to go with our birth mother to the delivery room. I watched as the bravest woman I ever met, went through the hectic final stages of labour, without any pain medication. I watched, tears streaming down my face, as she writhed in agony, gripping my hand, at times biting down on the knuckle of my thumb, as she went through those final stages… for those of you who have not experienced a natural birth, the final stage of labour is so hectic there is no break in the contractions, no respite from the pain. I watched her thrash about and make moaning sounds – not the over dramatic screaming you see in the movies, but a low, almost animal like moaning, as she laboured to birth our daughter.

I cannot believe that 5 months have past…….. 5 months since our incredible miracle! I’m still stunned by how our lives changed, in the blink of an eye one journey ended and a new one began.

Ava, mommy loves you in ways that no words could ever fully convey. I realize now that my mother loves me far more than I love her, how do I know? Because I know its impossible for Ava to love me as much as I love her. I understand what mothers love is now, I always thought I knew, but I didn’t, the depth and breadth of a mothers love. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would die for you my darling. Thank you for making me a better person, a softer, more vulnerable yet stronger and tougher person than I  ever thought myself capable of!

My hearts greatest desire fufilled!

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