6 Years, A Day I Shall Never Forget…

 

 

Mommy’s Little Baby
By LisaMarie Emerle

Mommy’s little baby is not really far away
I’m keeping you in my heart and that’s how it’s gonna stay!
Although you didn’t meet me and look into my eyes
Mommy will be thinking of you when I look up in the skies
And when I feel the sunshine … shining down on me
I will know you’re safe & happy and where you have to be
I have so many questions and there are no answers to find
But don’t think for just a second that you’ll ever leave my mind
You my precious angel made a mommy out of me
But our Father up in Heaven chose to raise you instead of me
God must have so much in store and wonderful plans for you
So I will carry this burden of pain so all your dreams come true!
So don’t you cry any tears my love – be happy and be free
When God decides it’s time….you will meet Daddy and me
You are very special both here and in heaven above
No matter where you are my angel you have Daddy & Mommy’s Love!

W was convinced you were a girl, he even called you Zoe, so you will always be remembered as Zoe. I can’t believe its 6 years since we lost you. I remember feeling at the time that I’d never be able to breathe again, that I’d never smile again.  That I’d never be me again.

Today, the burden, pain and hurt is almost too much to bare. Today, I could almost not lift my head off the pillow so overwhelmed by sadness am I. I can hardly see as my eyes are almost swollen shut and my throat is sore from all the crying. Today the longing in my heart is so over whelming, the pain so unbearable that I would do ANYTHING to make it stop. Its been months since I last had a big fat blubbering session over my infertility, for so long I’ve thought I was ok, but today its just too much, its just too painful. Today, I feel broken by my infertility. Today is one of those days where I wish…………….

 

 

 

 

19 Comments

  • Michelle

    September 12, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Shaz, my dear friend my heart goes out to you today and I wish that somehow I could make it easier for you to bear. All I can say is that you are in my thoughts today, please know this. Lots of love and hugs.

    Reply
  • deerdv

    September 12, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Im so sorry my dear friend. You are always the one giving such good advice and messages of strength – its ok to be down today, cry and get it all out. Shame sweety, hope you will be OK. Take care of yourself, much love xxx

    Reply
  • Amanda

    September 12, 2008 at 9:55 am

    Sending you lots and lots of cyber hugs!! Thinking of you today, take it easy on yourself, and take care of yourself. Now is the time to be a little selfish, and do what you need to do. xxxx

    Reply
  • Kirsty Weaver

    September 12, 2008 at 10:33 am

    Look after yourself and forget about EVERYONE else for today! You need to take care of you!

    “An angel in the book of life wrote down your baby’s birth.
    Then whispered as she closed the book, “Too beautiful for this earth.”

    I know it’s hard, because you have empty arms and a longing heart – but please know that your angel babies look down from heaven above, and with each ray of sunshine, they send you their love.
    Love and hugs,
    Kirsty xx

    Reply
  • Katherine

    September 12, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Hi Sharon

    My thoughts are with you today. I am one of the lucky ones that’s had 2 m/c’s but also have a beautiful daughter, Zoe. Good friends in our home cell lost a little girl at 37 weeks and she was also called Zoe. It is so unbelievably sad for me that there can’t be 3 beautiful Zoe’s with us today. I have no words of real comfort just to say that I’m very sorry and wish your husband was there with you today.

    Reply
  • Shinejil

    September 12, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    A bit late, but sending you a big hug. No one should have to go through what you’ve been through. It’s so hard, and so few people bother to understand.

    Much love, healing, and happiness to you!

    Reply
  • Suzanna Catherine

    September 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    Sad anniversaries. I hate them. I am so sorry you are having to experience this day alone. I will hold you and your angel baby, Zoe, in my heart today.

    Many ((hugs)) and comforting thoughts are sent your way.

    Reply
  • Monica

    September 12, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    It’s a tough, tough deck you’ve been dealt, Shaz. There’s never a right thing to say on days like this. You want something that so far you haven’t been able to have, and you’ve suffered so many losses. It’s wretched and unfair.

    Just know that so many others are grieving with you and for you. You’ve inspired many of us with your ability to bring KuKd sisters together, your kind and caring personality that comes through on your blog, and your open honestly about your feelings and tribulations. You’re facing your sitution with dignity and courage – wish I had all of that, girlfriend. You’re a survivor and you’ll survive this too. Whatever happens, you’ll emerge from this experience a different but stronger and wiser person with a new sense of purpose on the world, perhaps something you’re unaware of now.

    Now’s a good day to treat yourself. Go get a foot massage, drink an Irish coffee, and make that man of yours take you out to dinner. Order lobster and steak, and creme brulee for dessert. Doctor’s orders.

    Reply
  • Katie

    September 13, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    *tear* I am so so sorry that you have to go through this!!! Your babies are so so so lucky to have a mommy that loves them and misses them SO MUCH!!! You will be a wonderful mommy to a earth baby one day too!

    Reply

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