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A New Day A New Worry

I’m going to get a stomach ulcer before I even meet our BM!!! My mind is wandering to places I wish it wouldn’t. I’m getting very excited but I’m also afraid of my excitment. I’m utterly terrified of getting hurt or being disappointed. Its been two days since we received the news, its still completley surreal. On day 1 I was convinced our SW’s were going to contact me an tell me they’d made a terrible mistake and that they’d contacted us in error and it was other adoptive parents the birth mom wanted. So I emailed them and they kindly and patiently gave me all the reassurance I needed. But within hours a new thought had popped into my mind… what if the reason why we haven’t set up a time for the appointment yet is because the BM has changed her mind???? Currently, I’m having to fight the fear that this thought has brought while it swims around in my mind!

In the interim I’m trying to do, in a short space of time, what all expectant mum’s do. Plan! I’ve written a list of things to buy/pack for baby in the hospital:

Baby Bag

8x Baby-grows

4x Receiving Blankets

1x Pack New Born Nappies

Wet Wipes

4x Towelling nappies for burping

Bottles (which brand please?)

Dummies (again which brand please?)

Am I missing anything?

I’ve also started thinking about my bag and what I’d like to take with me. We’re also wanting to buy our BM a pretty bag and fill it with some nice goodies for her, some mags, some nice toiletries etc. I keep reminding myself that I want to be as kind and thoughtful to our BM as possible. That while this is the happiest day of our lives, its the saddest day of hers.

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36 Comments

  • Reply lolly

    hi sharon
    dont forget
    -body vests, theyre a must-have! (personal opinion) but seriously, theyre awesome! 8 will be plenty.
    -take 2 packs of wipes, first poo’s are very sticky.
    -baby soap, Johnsons Toptotoe is very good.
    -2x baby towels
    -surgical spirits for the cord stump (also try get the Weleda Wecosin powder, its dries it more than spirits, and kees it clean)
    -nail file for baby’s nails (theyre sharp!) dont worry about cutting them, theyre nails are soft.

    great idea for the BM!

    December 9, 2009 at 6:57 am
  • Reply Gen

    Hey Shaz,

    This is surreal, I am not sure if you are asking for some info on the list ?

    But here is some info:

    My SIL say that Pampers nappies are better, as they absorb more and fit better.
    We only used DR BROWNS bottles with my nieces because the thing inside prevents air bubbles which in turn prevents, winds, so baby will be happy.
    Usually they give baby a BEENIE because apparently they cannot regulate their body temperature so that is why they always have beenies on when you see them in photos? So maby one of those?
    Maby 1 extra pack of nappies ? How long you going to be in cape Town? you might fly through those?
    Nuk dummies are generally the best.

    I think of more and add / mail you if you do not mind?

    December 9, 2009 at 7:04 am
  • Reply Melanie

    Ohhhhh!!! I am so excited for you, I am going to tell you something Elize told me wants, and i know it is easier said than done ‘Hope for the Best, but prepare for the worst’
    I think the nappies depend on what gender the baby is. Maybe you should get a dummy pin, you know the one that attaches to the dummy, but you can also attach it to the clothes, maybe take a small container of formula, just incase baby doesn’t latch. Nan is apparantely the best.

    Good luck!!!

    December 9, 2009 at 8:20 am
  • Reply Gail

    Nappies: I found the newborn Huggies leaked terribly so preferred Pampers
    Bottles: I foud the Dr Browns very finicky and gimicky. I used Nuk with no problems (their bottle is also anti-colic). I also used Nuk dummies.
    Wet wipes: The nurses at Sandton Medi-Clinic taught me to use cotton wool and warm water to clean Kyla’s bum as the wet wipes are very harsh on their sensitive skin and cause nappy rach. True as Bob, the 1st time Kyla got nappy rash we were away and I was using wet wipes 🙂

    December 9, 2009 at 8:20 am
  • Reply Trish

    Hi Sharon

    This is so exciting and great idea about the bag of goodies for the BM.
    It looks like you are sorted with baby stuff.
    In my experience, babygrows with studs down the front are good for newborns as mine didn’t like things being pulled over their heads. I bought a couple of different brand of dummies (1 chose NUK the other rejected all dummies)and mine liked Avent bottles with a newborn teat (0 or 1 I forget)
    Also I always ran out of nappies (Huggies Newborn but Pampers also good) as newborns can go through 10 a day if they are good poopers. haha.
    Maybe get one of those Baby Sense triangle blankets for swaddling – they are really soft/light and you get them at Woolies too.
    Best of luck and can’t wait to hear how it goes.
    xxx

    December 9, 2009 at 8:31 am
  • Reply Lea White

    I’ll email you.

    December 9, 2009 at 8:32 am
  • Reply Tracey

    Congrats!

    My preferrence for bottles was ADVENT same goes for the dummies.

    Don’t forget the hooded towel and GRIPE WATER!!!

    December 9, 2009 at 8:52 am
  • Reply Charmi

    Hi S 🙂 Just been going through your list – and it sounds like you have covered almost everything (You will pack stuff like bum cream,bath towel for baby, baby oil & lotions etc eh?). How are you coming back? Not sure if you can fly with newborn that young? If you drive back – remember the car seat!

    Excellent idea to pack a nice gift bag for the BM! How many sleeps left for you? xoxo

    December 9, 2009 at 8:57 am
  • Reply Paula

    Car seat!! How exciting and terrifying at the same time, all the best!

    PS we only used NUK dummies and bottles, the best according to the NICU sisters.

    December 9, 2009 at 9:01 am
  • Reply Jenny

    Hey Shaz, the hospital (assuming it’s private) does provide some stuff. Did you get my list? xx ps: really nice idea for the BM. @Charni. You can fly with a newborn that small as far as I know. xx

    December 9, 2009 at 9:07 am
  • Reply Elana Kahn

    I think you’ve basically covered it. I personally use cloth diapers and wipes, so I’m not much help there, but I did use pampers for several months before I switched and loved them. The Pampers Swaddlers have this neat indicator on the front of the diaper that shows whether or not it’s wet. At least they have it in the US… Cloth wipes are awesome even if you don’t use cloth diapers because you can re-use them and they are better than the stuff you buy at the store. I make a solution of 3 cups water, 3 Tbsp baby oil & 3 Tbsp baby shampoo and that works like a charm with the wipes. You need to make a baby registry so we can all buy you stuff and have a virtual baby shower!!! 🙂

    December 9, 2009 at 9:18 am
  • Reply Julia

    Just catching up now as I didn’t get a chance to read yesterday. NExt Week!!!!!!!
    Bottles and Dummies – I only used Nuk. You must also get something to sterilize with. I forget the name of the stuff now but Pick ‘n Pay sells it. And of course you need formula as well. I used NAN.
    Toiletries for baby – use only non scented, Hypo allergenic stuff – don’t forget surgical spirits to clean out the belly button
    Pampers rocks! – take an extra pack or 2.
    Babygrows, hats and vests – rather too many than too few. Babies sometimes need multiple clothing changes a day. Get Sumlight baby washing powder and baby Stasoft to wash clothing with
    I would buy 3 receiving blankets and one of those swaddle blankies.
    CAR SEAT – very NB.
    Going to think of some more and comment later again.
    I am sooooo excited I could scream!!!!!!

    December 9, 2009 at 9:28 am
  • Reply sassy

    You are so thoughtful – thinking of the birth mom. I think it’s wonderful, how sensitive you are to her position as well. Anyway all my warm thoughts are with you these next days as you wait to meet your child. xo

    December 9, 2009 at 9:33 am
  • Reply Julia

    Forgot to add that the hospital normally provides a basic list of what is required for the hospital stay. If you can try and get that list then you are sorted. Work from there and just expand a bit.
    And btw I think that it is beautiful what you are doing for the BM. I think toiletries, sweeties, magazines…etc
    Ps…do you know the gender of the baby?

    December 9, 2009 at 9:38 am
  • Reply Kirsty

    yay shaz! Exciting plans!! I used Avent bottles with my babies, and MAM dummies (Can get them at Dischem)
    I recommend you to buy a tub of Sudocrem – again you can buy it from Dischem. For me, it’s the only cream that prevents and clears up nappy rash.
    Another pearl… if you can get your paws on a swaddling blanket called a wombie – they are heaven sent. Little babies love to be swaddled tightly, and as a new mum I found this so hard to do… until I got a wombie! It makes them feel secure.
    So exciting!!!!! x-x
    PS: Make that 2 x packs of pampers new born nappies x

    December 9, 2009 at 9:39 am
  • Reply Mash

    YOu are so SWEET to have thought of doing something so nice for the birth mother, it suddenly brought tears to my eyes. AGAIN!

    I (clearly) have no kids, but you know I’m a bit of a hippy… My sister used glass bottles. They are almost unbreakable, and don’t release estrogens and other yucky stuff into the milk. Then, as far as I know, you don’t need to buy chemical sterilizers, you can just put them in boiling water in a pot on the stove.

    And no matter how much advice anyone gives you, nothing is going to prepare you for when it actually happens (so I am told). So just have faith that you will find a way through it!

    December 9, 2009 at 9:47 am
  • Reply Abs

    So Exciting Shaz and so thoughtful of you to think of how sad it will be for the BM. I have no idea what you need because like yourself I have been avoiding baby mags or baby shops for so long I wouldn’t know where to start! I’m sure your OTT personality will have it all done and dusted in no time! Good Luck with all the shopping!! xx

    December 9, 2009 at 9:48 am
  • Reply Hela

    I mailed you and forgot to add… baby nail scissors – some are born with long nails and they grow fast – I’m always cutting nails. And definately rescue drops – for you and BM as it’s all very overwhelming in the beginning.

    December 9, 2009 at 9:55 am
  • Reply Lesley

    I’m obviously so not the expert on this but what about things like;

    Bum cream
    Gripe water
    Johnson baby wash stuff
    Johnston baby cream
    Formula?
    Hooded towels
    Facecloth
    Cotton-wool
    Car seat for going home
    Socks for the odd cold evening in CT

    Wow this is so exciting, a brand spanking new baby in a weeks time!
    Are you going to stay in Cape Town from Saterday and your baba makes it’s arrival?
    I’m sure your SW’s are handling the situation with all the necessary attention and sensitivity so try not to stress about anything changing.

    December 9, 2009 at 10:13 am
  • Reply SCY

    Hmmm can’t help on the baby purchases (I always buy the fun stuff cos I don’t really know what else to buy… Don’t buy too much fun stuff now – Aunty Sam reserves that right mkay!)

    I love that you’re thinking of the BM Shaz, her heart will probably be a big mash of emotions as will yours be. For her, maybe a nice devotional book or somethign to get her through the tough times? And lots of pamper stuff – like creams and lotions etc. And yummy goodies to eat. And maybe some practical stuff like breast pads, materinity pads or panties etc (sure her boobs will still leak etc after birth)

    I am SO excited I am going to burst a poop string!

    xxxx

    December 9, 2009 at 10:31 am
  • Reply Katherine

    Depending on which hospital (I had Zoe at Vincent Palotti) you only need clothes for going home, they use the hospital’s clothes and blankets while in hospital.
    Surgical spirits for the navel with cotton buds. Use Avent bottles, Zoe had a honey dummy and I tried Avent and Mam ones with Ava and she refused both, didn’t try any others. I’ve heard good things about Tommee Tippee (bottles and dummies)stuff that you can get at Dischem and other baby shops.
    I only use Woolies earth friendly baby wash and shampoo.

    December 9, 2009 at 10:47 am
  • Reply Katherine

    Not sure how big they estimate the baby to be but maybe get 1 or 2 prem babygro’s (Edgars or Ackermans usually have them) as even the newborn stuff is too big at first and my babies were 3,2 and 3,4kg.

    December 9, 2009 at 10:49 am
  • Reply Elize

    Well since I have no experience, all I can add is maybe a cute little take home outfit, you may have to buy two, one pink and one blue, and how about a cute little stuffed toy for the crib in hospital? Also I heard that Johnsons products can cause irritation so maybe opt for another brand. Not all babies takes to dummies, so be prepared. Earbuds, cotton wool, a face cloth? Maybe? I’ve already started online window shopping! I don’t want to buy just yet, cos I need to know if I should get blue or pink! Can’t wait to meet the little one! DON’T FORGET THE CAMERA! And buy a video camera, you’d want to get everything on film. Phew! Two bags, one for you and one for baba.

    December 9, 2009 at 10:51 am
  • Reply Amanda

    Hi Sharon, NUK or Avent, both very good. Have you got a steam steriliser for the bottles yet? That’s the most important, and get a bottle brush and a teat brush otherwise you’ll run into problems. Pampers are the best nappies and for nappy rash, get Antipeol (Pronounced antipeel) it’s like a miracle cure, trust me!

    Maybe a beautiful photo album for the BM, or something personal for her.

    December 9, 2009 at 11:08 am
  • Reply C

    This is soooooooooo exciting Shaz, I can only imagine how you must feel right now. I know nothing about babies so cannot give any advise but it is wonderful that you are thinking of BM, we don’t know the circumstances that led her to this point but I am sure it cannot be easy. Sending you hugs and thinking of you both.

    December 9, 2009 at 11:32 am
  • Reply Gen

    I forgot to mention that you can get these cool “rubbish bags” from the baby accessories section from GLADE, that you put a dirty nappy into and its so handy if you dont have a bin around, you pop nappy into bag and throw away when you can

    December 9, 2009 at 11:58 am
  • Reply CHARNE

    no doubt the BM will love your gift and thoughtfullness

    you should get a bag of goodies from hospital but incase you dont buy surgical spirits for belly button

    also i only use AVENT bottles and have had no probs

    dont buy to many dummys as baby may not like any or be picky.. i have so many diff brand dummys and E does not use any of them

    also the avent microwave steriliser is great and you dont need to use milton or any of that stuff… so it works out so much cheaper and its very effective.. we have had no thrush as yet

    xxx

    December 9, 2009 at 1:48 pm
  • Reply Gillian

    I am so so thrilled for you!! I am also sad though cos I will miss my lunchtime read of your blog cos you are going to be too busy to keep us updated because you will have your hands full of NEWBORN!!!!!!!! WHOOP WHHHOOOOOP!!!!

    December 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm
  • Reply Nix

    Snug n Safe, most hospitals don’t allow you to leave until you prove you have one with you. I never had a problem with Nuk, and Baby Boom does a cheepy R2 dummy that most hospitals use, they are very basic and babes love them. A microwave steriliser is far more convenient and you won’t have issues with thrush. Phone ahead to the hospital once you know, and ask them what formula they use for cup feeds, and buy a small tin for top ups while your milk comes in. Remember to add tiny baby, or prem baby vests and baby grows, most newborns don’t fit into newborn outfits. The same goes with nappies, prem nappies can be bought at Baby Boom or Dischem. Socks for their little feet, they get cold even through a baby grow and mittens or extra socks for the little hands, in case you have a scratcher. The only products you will need are surgical spirits, ear buds, cotton wool, Johnson n Johnson Top to Toe Baby wash and petroleum free vaseline. I wouldn’t worry about wet wipes at this stage, a lot of babies have a very sensitive bum and you’ll use cotton wool and warm water for the 1st couple of days at least. I had a couple of air tight containers so that hubby could take dummies home to sterilise them and bring them back the next day. Bepanthen, nipple shields and breast pads if you would still like to breastfeed. Makeup for you, but no perfume, and loads of nicies to eat and drink.

    And… DON’T FORGET THE CAMERA AND TONS OF RECHARGABLE BATTERIES!

    Oh and um… I’m bouncing off the walls for you!!!

    December 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm
  • Reply monica lemoine

    WOW, this is freakin’ crazy. I can’t believe it. First, I’m so happy for you! And happy for this baby, who is going be loved beyond belief. That birth mother knew what she was doing in choosing you. Second, wish I could help on the baby-gear front – but I’m wandering out clueless. I think you’ll figure it all out as it happens. Oh – and by the way – totally normal to be afraid that some unexpected hitch will come up. Of course you have anxiety – given the terrible disappointments you’ve gone through this past decade. I have a good feeling about this and hoping hard for the best!

    December 9, 2009 at 3:44 pm
  • Reply Kristin

    Everything you are feeling is completely normal. As for baby gear, I always liked the Nuk brand both for the bottles and nipples and for their dummies (we call them pacifiers).

    December 9, 2009 at 4:51 pm
  • Reply Gwen

    Having used wet wipes on myself on a camping trip, I wouldn’t recommend them for baby’s tender bits. Nuff said. Rather get special baby wipes. For the first few days/weeks plain water and aqueous cream only are recommended to clean the baby’s skin.

    Hooded towels, facecloths.

    Surgical spirits, bum cream, cotton wool, aqueous cream (hospital should provide all these).

    Baby brush and comb to smarten baby up for the photos.

    The nurses will probably be the best people to advise you on the basic necessities. Remember that you or W can always nip out or down to the hospital pharmacy to buy anything you’ve forgotten.

    Also take the Baby Sense book for you to read. Baby Sense makes swaddling wraps too (they’re available at Woolies).

    Tissues! For mom, dad and baby.

    The nurses at my antenatal classes wouldn’t hear of dummies. They insisted that baby’s own hand is the best thing to shove in his/her mouth to pacify.

    December 9, 2009 at 5:38 pm
  • Reply HOLLIE

    SHARON!! I’m so behind in my blog reading but I read this and my heart skipped several beats. Im SO FRIGGIN EXCITED FOR YOU!! Enjoy the anxiousness. Its fun, it will be fun to look back on as well. Im wishing you all the best in this time of JOY(AND I KNOWWWWW IT WILL BE JOYFUL) for you!!

    SO FRIGGIN EXCITED!!!
    ~Hollie

    December 10, 2009 at 2:09 am
  • Reply Quiet Dreams

    I’ve got no suggestions as far as what babies will need.

    Just want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending you peace. (and I’m so excited for you!)

    December 10, 2009 at 4:15 am
  • Reply Melanie

    Depends on how long will you be in Cape Town. With our 1st Adoption I took a whole SUITCASE full of baby stuff. we got J and was back on the plane the same day 🙂 so the 2nd time when we go to fetch L we only pack a nappy bag. LOL! We also used NUK

    What you defniatley need is a couple of bottle’s prepared to take on the plane. When we got J I only had 2 bottles with me, so we got him at 2 and only arrived in PTA at 11 that night. AND he wanted to drink every 2 hours!!! i was so stressed the Safe house only gave me 3 milk servings. by the time we got home he was screaming bloody murder! get a little thermo bag and 4 – 6 bottle’s with freshly made water in, get forumula and that is then the battle half won! the house mum will give you his correct feeding.

    Good luck!
    Melanie

    December 10, 2009 at 12:02 pm
  • Reply Nicola

    Hi,

    I have the longest most comprehensive list, that has evolved with me, my 2 babies and countless friends. If you want it, please just mail me!

    Good luck!

    Love Nicola

    December 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm
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