I saw this, I loved it.
[embedplusvideo height=”405″ width=”650″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/1YeO7oG” standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/ceS_jkKjIgo?fs=1″ vars=”ytid=ceS_jkKjIgo&width=650&height=405&start=&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=1&chapters=¬es=” id=”ep9617″ /]
I’ve often said that sometimes I feel we’ve become so obsessed with political correctness that we’ve almost become stupid out of fear for offending someone. And now, in this post, I’m going to completely contradict myself!
I am offended!
- resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.“he sounded rather offended”
synonyms: upset, hurt, wounded, injured, insulted, aggrieved, affronted, pained, displeased,distressed, disgruntled, put out, annoyed, angered, angry, cross, exasperated, indignant,irritated, vexed, piqued, irked, stung, galled, nettled, needled, peeved, ruffled, resentful,in a huff, huffy, in high dudgeon, fed up;
Watch this and then see if you can figure out why.
[embedplusvideo height=”405″ width=”650″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/1YePi7D” standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/AF_nfazQaek?fs=1″ vars=”ytid=AF_nfazQaek&width=650&height=405&start=&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=1&chapters=¬es=” id=”ep8365″ /]
From all the discussions I’ve had with adult adoptee’s, one of the recurring themes was a sense of shame and fear in their search for self which is constantly perpetuated by ignorant comments and “jokes”.
“Don’t mind him…. he’s adopted!”
You know what guys, there are some topics you just don’t joke about. Irrespective of whether you’re trying to be politically correct or not. If you have any sense of compassion, intellect and moral compass over what’s acceptable and what is not acceptable then you don’t make rape jokes or jokes about cancer and I feel that adoption jokes should be treated the same way. You don’t joke about something that is deeply personal, traumatic or emotionally painful for another human being.
These “jokes” are not funny. Not to me anyway and I doubt they’re funny to birth parents or adoptees either. They send a horrible message to a person already struggling with issues of primal rejection, that they are a throw away child. That they don’t fit in. That they’re not normal, that they have to try harder for acceptance. That at any moment, if they don’t conform or fit in, they will be tossed away like trash.
The same applies to adoption “jargon”. Please, if you’re my friend or part of my family, don’t refer to my children’s birth mother’s as their “real” mothers, most especially not in front of them. Fastest way to make them feel like we’re not a “real” family is to keep referring to their birth parents as their “real” parents. Fastest way to to derail their journey of self discovery and sense of self is to constantly reiterate the fakeness of their parents. Their REAL parents, the ones raising them.
I also think these “jokes” are hugely disrespectful to birth mothers. Adoption is not a decision that is entered into lightly. It’s not an easy choice to make, it’s not like either of my children’s birth mothers woke up one day and decided that having a child was too much trouble so they just “threw” their children away. It doesn’t work that way.
These “jokes” can only serve to make adoptees feel even more isolated and there must be a level of shame in them too, referring to them as trash or thrown away. Heck, I even hate the word “gave up” for adoption. Placed. Please say placed. Given up implies that there was a lack of thought or intent, and anyone who has been through the adoption process will tell you, this is simply not true.
So yes. I try not to get offended, but adoption jokes, along with rape jokes and disabled jokes and cancer jokes and a plethora of other “jokes” do offend me, insult me and hurt me.