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The aliens made me do it…. and other lies our kids tell us.

We were just standing next to it & it tipped over!

The dog did it!

These are just some of the B.S. stories my children tell me. 

We all lie right? In varying degrees, every one of us does it. But I’ll tell you one thing my children are teaching me about lying…. you really need to think you have superior intelligence and everyone is just a dumbass to be convinced you can get away with it. Or perhaps that’s just how 6 year old’s lie? But the last few week’s have been an exercise in maintaining my patience while suppressing a smile.

Two week’s ago, I came home from work to find Ava with red splotches on her cheeks and Hannah with black rings around her eyes. When I asked them what had happened, they said they were playing in mud and got a little dirty!

Oh really?

When they saw I wasn’t going to fall for that, they switched tactics. 

Apparently they had been “looking” at my make up when Layla put it on their faces. In case that’s unclear, Layla is our DOG

Then…..

On Saturday, we had friends over for a braai. The kids were playing in the driveway, when Ava suddenly came around the corner, with a brown smudge across her forehead and tears in her eyes. Apparently, they were just standing next to the giant, ceramic pot, when it started swaying and crashed down, smashing into the ground!

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I won’t lie. I almost cried. Those pots are expensive. There won’t be a new one. Not any time soon anyway. 

My husband is furious. I am too. But it was hard to keep a straight face while we cleaned up the mess. When I asked her what the hell had actually happened, it turns out they were trying to scoop sand out of the top of the pot…. to turn into mud….. for what you ask? 

Why…. to create hair on my sleeping man statue (see top left of the photo). I actually had to turn my back on Ava so that she wouldn’t see the smile fighting with my mouth. I mean, come on, that’s pretty funny right? But still not ok. Both of them can be glad that heavy as hell pot never fell on them.

Sunday was another day when I realized that having kids is not all fun and games and that you simply can’t be house proud or have nice things when you have small children. They just trash it all.

Oh and let’s talk about the punishment. No screen time for a week. Hit Ava where it hurts the most. Her currency…. screen time…. (future Youtuber in my family)

The worst part is, punishing her, it hurts me more than I think it hurts her. 

At one point I was explaining that even through I understand and accept that she is sorry, like in life, there are consequences, for every action, there is a reaction. She may have been involved in accidentally breaking the pot, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a consequence and the consequence is no screen time for this week.

I also explained to her that I’m angry because we work hard to have nice things. Those pots are very expensive, we won’t be getting another one. My heart almost broke in two when she asked me to fetch a can opener so I could open her money box and take all the money out of it to help buy a new pot. I told her she didn’t have enough and she couldn’t understand how there couldn’t possibly be enough money in there, after all, she had “lots of coins and even some paper money!’

one-minute-i-was-sleeping-on-the-pillow-and-then-poof-it-exploded-lets-just-be-thankful-im-still-alive

Between my dogs and my children, I am being reminded daily that you simply can’t have nice things. Oh and that that their adorable cuteness is a blackmail tool to lessen my anger and teach me patience. 

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16 Comments

  • Reply Chan

    Lololol Layla is one naughty (and very talented dog) !!
    I just love how children can be so creative (even when it’s wrong) and test not only one’s patience, but also one’s logic with their reasoning…

    July 19, 2016 at 9:08 am
    • Reply Sharon

      It is infuriating and incredibly funny all at the same time!

      July 19, 2016 at 10:05 am
  • Reply catjuggles

    I saw this yesterday of FB Sharon gosh an honestly I have a heap of similar stories to tell. The good news is that a few years on one can move on. We still have a very nice TV with scratches on when Mr L one day got angry at a programme and took pen to screen. On another note – Layla can make you a lot of money…

    July 19, 2016 at 9:21 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Oh we have the scratches on our big screen TV too. And yes, it’s at times very funny but also infuriating because we work hard for what we have & it just gets destroyed!

      July 19, 2016 at 9:37 am
  • Reply Jodie

    Ah precious children – that’s pretty creative I must say! Hehe. I wonder when the kids will understand the value of things though…Ethan has 4 has no clue. Breaking and throwing toys is a regular for him and he’s attitude is just – well, we’ll buy a new toy. I don’t care if it costs R10, it’s the principle!!! Sorry you can’t buy another pot 🙁

    July 19, 2016 at 10:55 am
  • Reply sula1968

    Thanks for the chuckle, you are not alone 🙂

    July 19, 2016 at 11:03 am
  • Reply Cheryl Miller

    You most certainly are not alone. I have 3 girls and the mischief they get up to is unbelievable at times. My mother always uses the line “one day they will be 21” on me.

    July 20, 2016 at 11:13 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Mischief…. yes…. daily…. multiple times!

      July 20, 2016 at 11:29 am

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