There are a lot of things about being a new mother that one can never really be prepared for. No matter how your friends who’ve gone on ahead try to prepare you, you can, for example, never be prepared or fully understand just how all consuming being a mother is until you’re in it. I was completely unprepared for the fierceness of the love I would feel for my daughter, I mean logically I knew it would be that way, but I couldn’t relate to the feeling or understand it until she was here.
One of the things I hadn’t been prepared for was just how much more sensitive being a mother would make me. I’ve always been sensitive, I’ve always had a fairly sophisticated sense of compassion, I am able to put myself in others shoes and empathize with their pain or suffering. What shocked me was how that would multiply by a hundred times when I became a mother. I was completely unprepared for this because I had always been compassionate to start with. But now that I have a child of my own, when I hear stories of baby Ashleigh’s passing or baby Laila’s appalling treatment and subsequent brain damage, I can’t help imaging how I would feel if that was my child, I can’t help but be heartbroken for these children and also their parents, in ways that cannot be explained or understood.
And it seems not just affect new Mom’s but new Dad’s too. W is as affected by all of this, whenever we hear one of these stories he gets tearful and says things like, imagine if that were our little darling?
Its odd how having a child can mature and change one so emotionally in ways one never dreamed possible.