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Are We Insane??????

This time, in exactly one month, we will be having our second assessment with our SW for our second adoption application and I am experiencing a totally mixed bag of emotions.

I am very excited! And very very dreamy. Have been playing with baby name idea’s, Walter and I have been bouncing names off each other. I’ve done a mental checklist of what I have saved for baby no. 2 – bottles, blankets, we’ve checked our travel system to make sure all is still in good nick for a second baby. We’ve tossed around some idea’s on how to rearrange our house so that we can fit a second baby in, without loosing our study and guest bedroom as we’re not ready to sell with our plans to emigrate still in the beginning phase. I get all mushy and broody when I think about tiny babies, pink feet, little snuggly sounds. I find myself day dreaming about what could lie ahead. Perhaps our second child has been conceived already. Will we be so blessed as to have another short wait? Will we be joining team pink for a second time, or perhaps getting to experience team blue for the first time? Which would we prefer? Do we have a preference?

And then another part of me wonders if we’re completely insane? How will we cope with a second child? What will the impact be on us financially? Will we have to amend are very comfortable lifestyle to fit in a second child? We barely survived one newborn, how will we cope going through it a second time? I have a friend whose a mom to twins, she maintains that having two babies a year or two apart is harder than having twins, she says at least with her twins, while it was a ton of work, she was doing the same thing for 2 babies, not 2 different things for 2 different babies. What happens if its a short wait and we have one child under 2 & a new born? How will I cope physically? I already find one baby exhausting. How will I manage with two bums that need cleaning, with a toddler running all over the place and a new-born? What if we have another short wait?

Raising Ava has gotten… dare I say it… so easy in the last few months. Or perhaps we’ve relaxed more. But she eats when she should eat and if she doesn’t want to we leave her, I’m over stressing about that. She naps well during the day with no fussing, no crying, no tantrums. She goes to bed at 7pm, and unless she’s sick, she sleeps until 7am, sometimes later. She’s happy to play with us or to play by herself.  She’s calm, settled and content. We are, all 3 of us, so comfortable with our lives. We have reached that place where Walter and I can go out without her and leave her with Loveness. We have time to go to gym, and I got to Pilates. We get time alone with our friends. I get to go for regular pedi’s and other treats.

Do we really want to turn our lives upside down by having another baby?

The short answer is …. NO!

Do we really want a second baby???

The short answer is … YES!

I keep telling myself that millions of families around the world cope, under far worse circumstances than ours, so I’m quite confident that we’ll manage the second time around as well.

 

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10 Comments

  • Reply suestuart

    It’s such a huge dilemma, I hope you get your heads around it one way or the other! I am currently in the camp of “not again”, as you said it’s finally getting easier and I don’t want to go through all that newborn stuff again! Hubby on the other hand, would do it all over again in a heartbeat 🙂

    February 25, 2011 at 11:11 am
  • Reply lea2109

    You’ll cope :-). Sure the beginning bits will be hard, sure it is more expensive, but it does get easier. I promise 🙂

    February 25, 2011 at 11:16 am
  • Reply darylfaure

    No you’re not insane just normal fears.

    You just bight the bullet, accept that the first few months will be a bit crazy, and then you know things settle down again into a new routine.

    As long as you accept that it will be rough initially, but that too will pass, it will be a wonderful journey. Also, everything will be like old hat to you, and you won’t stress so much the second time around.

    Enjoy the journey Sharon – I can’t wait to hear the outcome.

    February 25, 2011 at 12:45 pm
  • Reply zamom

    I won’t lie, I found the jump from 1 to 2 children hard. The “babying” bit is easy because you’ve done it all before and are far less paranoid about everything but having two little people relying on you is harder, especially as the older one is used to all the attention. Our gap was just over 2 years and it was tough in the beginning, especially because Zoe was such an easy baby and Ava not quite as easy. As you know though, the tough bit lasts for such a short time and I found after 6 months I felt I had my life back again. What is 6 months in the grand scheme of things anyway? Now that those first 3 months are a distant memory I can’t tell you how nice it is now. My two will play for ages together and they just adore each other (75%) of the time. Really hope you’ll have exciting news soon again.

    February 25, 2011 at 12:45 pm
  • Reply lindasjournal

    We had a 25 month gap and it was hard, but it was SO worth every minute of it!!

    February 25, 2011 at 1:39 pm
  • Reply little29

    no one who has got 2 Children will kid you by saying its easy – it is hard – but you know what Sharon, you have such an awsome outlook to motherhood, you are realistic and as long as you keep you sense of humour it is double the excitement, double the fun, double the experience and most of all double the love!!

    February 26, 2011 at 3:26 pm
  • Reply Yvonne

    Hey Shaz! 🙂

    Remember that quote you posted: “I never said it would be easy, I said it would be worth it!” I think is what applies here. You are absolutely not insane, all your fears are completely normal.

    xx

    February 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm
  • Reply Hanneke C

    You’re not insane!! Just my five cents worth from experience! First baby is the hardest the rest just fitted it. Experience with baby number one is invaluable with number two.

    February 27, 2011 at 10:20 am
  • Reply Fiona

    You will cope and you’ll look back once the new addition joins your family and you won’t be able to fathom what life was like before you knew him or her 🙂

    February 27, 2011 at 9:03 pm
  • Reply mayflowerladybugs

    Just my 2 cents… baby #2 is way easier that baby #1, because you have already figured out the nitty-gritty bits! Also, in my opinion as a twin mom, having 2 apart is easier than having twin, basically because while it is still hectic with a small toddler, at least that one can sit, walk, eat by herself ect. With twins you need to have 14 hands just to cope with feeding two babies at the same time! So no worries on having 2 close together. Just not at the same time! (I always say, twins are better than none, but one is better than twins!). The fact is, whatever happens, you will cope with it, because that is the way it is. Also, having two close together means they will have a bigger chance to play together as they will be closer in development. My D is a bit too ‘ahead’ of the twins to be able to play lekker with them, just yet, and I always meant to have kids closer together (didn’t work out quite that way). Hope it goes really well!

    February 28, 2011 at 10:41 am
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