I’m often asked if/when/how Walter and I plan to tell Ava that she is adopted. For us, honesty has always been the best policy and so we have always spoken openly in front of Ava about her being adopted, about her birth mother and about how she came to be placed with us. We regularly show Ava photo’s of her birth mother and it is our intention that she always know that we encourage her to be as open and honest with us about how she feels about her placement, that we will always be open and honest about the details of her placement and that she has nothing to feel guilty about when asking these questions.
But what always astounds me is how wise this child of ours is. Wise beyond her years, she has a wisdom that shines through her deep brown eyes and as she’s getting older, she verbalizes her wisdom too.
Lately she’s been expressing, in her own way, what she understands about adoption and it has amazed and astounded me.
Her understanding is that my tummy is broken, and so she grew inside another mommy’s tummy until she was strong enough to come to me. She will also tell anyone who will listen that her baby sister, Hayley, is growing in another mommy’s tummy until she is strong enough to come and live with us.
And I love that at the tender age of 3 she can grasp the concept of our infertility and her adoption the way that she has. Walter and I entered into adoption for the long haul, not just to raise a child till they come of age, but to be apart of her life forever and for always. We have always believed that by lying or withholding the truth we would ultimate destroy the the bonds of love and trust for all in our adoption triad and so I am very proud of my little girl, of her wisdom and compassion and understanding of a concept that should be foreign to a child.