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Baby Mama

Last night while browsing through the channels on DSTV, I came across a movie about surrogacy, I only managed to watch about 10 minutes of the movie before changing the channel in utter disgust! The movie was called Baby Mama and it poked fun at surrogacy. At least I felt it poked fun at surrogacy and infertility in general. I dunno, perhaps I’ve lost my sense of humour when it comes to all things fertility related. I mean, would you watch a movie that made fun of cancer or any other illness or disease? Would you find watching somebody in a heart breaking position funny?? I don’t but I can’t help wandering if perhaps I’m being oversensitive or if I’m just battling a bout of sense of humour failure. After all, people have poked fun at our infertility from the beginning from stupid comments like : “you’re just not doing it right” to “if W doesn’t know how to get you pregnant, come sit over here and I’ll show you how its done” Ja hahahaha, that’s very funny!

Anyway, back to the movie….

The infertile in the movie was portrayed as super successful business woman who at the age of 37 discovered she was infertile. The fertility specialist and surrogacy agency were portrayed as money hungry morons who were just out to suck their clients dry, even comparing using a surrogate to outsourcing of some company functions. The fertility experience was treated as a joke, now call me old fashioned, but I find humour that pokes fun of women in theater gowns dreamily falling back onto the gynecology bed and dreamily splaying their legs while slipping their feet into the stirrups totally offensive. The actual surrogate was portrayed as a hill billy, white trash dumb blond with no class or manners who had only volunteered to be a surrogate for the money.

I only saw about 10 minutes of the entire move before I switched it off as I couldn’t take watching it anymore, so perhaps I summed it up incorrectly. But what I saw just reaffirmed my position on why we’re so misunderstood as a community as a whole.  Its just another example of how infertility is falsely represented in the media. Oh and speaking of false representation… please check out this charming portrayal of infertility and share your thoughts!

We have so many fantastic books out there that truthfully show infertility for what it is, its a great pity for me that there aren’t any truthful movies about the same topic.

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15 Comments

  • Reply sassy

    I saw the whole movie recently (don’t ask) and wondered the same thing. There were so many falsities about infertility said in the movie that I wondered if the writers had even spoken to ONE infertile person or RE.

    September 18, 2009 at 8:35 am
  • Reply Gail

    Good thing you didn’t watch the rest of the movie!!! The surrogate pretends that she has fallen pregnant when in fact she is not, then proceeds to fall pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby, who the mother then thinks is her child. THAT’S where I stopped watching!!

    September 18, 2009 at 8:38 am
  • Reply Sharon

    I flicked back to it after writing this angry post last night and just shook my head at the part I came to. Where the Infertile had just discovered that the trashy Surro Mom was in fact not pregnant with her baby but with the surro mom’s husbands baby. What a pile of bollie. Because then the argument when along the lines of, that even though the surro Mom got pg from IVF with the infertile woman’s eggs, and that straight after transfer the HPT was negative. So then a few days later she found out she was pregnant with her husbands baby but now they’re not sure if maybe its the infertile woman’s eggs that got fertilized by the husbands sperm which is a pile of BS if the procedure was IVF to start with.
    I just shook my head. Really, if you want to make movies about stuff like that, at least get your facts straight first!

    September 18, 2009 at 9:05 am
  • Reply Caragh

    At the time I watched the movie, I was ignorant of infertility.
    Since learning more about and befriending those who have suffered, I can understand why it wouldn’t be funny.

    The stereotyping of people was very very wrong.

    May I mention though that it had a happy ending?

    September 18, 2009 at 9:56 am
  • Reply Denise

    I would petition for So Close to be turned into a movie I think Tertia has used just the right amount of humour in her book because nobody wants to see the dark side of infertility but it would help people to understand what we go through.

    I feel so fortunate to have been able to be open and honest with all my friends and have amazing support from woman who are have suffered infertility woman who look at their husbands and get pregnant and even woman who are allergic to children!

    Unfortunately I know other IF’s who have had to deal with the stereotypical comments and shame and I really wish that didn’t have to be the case… movies like that just further reinforce the stereotypes.

    To be fair about hollywood though, I was a volunteer lifeguard and watching Baywatch was pretty much invoked the same fury! I’m sure every Dr feels the same about ER too!!!

    September 18, 2009 at 10:08 am
  • Reply Abs

    “10 ways to have a baby” is so offensive! It makes the IF industry sound like a bad sci-fi movie. Articles liek that make me so angry. I also watched ‘Baby Mama’…don’t even get me started on that! Muppets!

    September 18, 2009 at 11:10 am
  • Reply Paula

    Dear Sharon
    I watched Baby Mama after going through my particular sets of IFV and I must say I wasn’t offended, basically because I think it is impossible to accurately portray the anguish of IF and IFV. For sure the subject matter is frivolous but I suspect that was the point. I myself most certainly did not understand what I was in for before starting our fisrt IVF, and I know that even people like my mom, who was there with us every step of the way, don’t get it. Nobody understand it untill it they actually land up in that position. Even serious programs like A child against all odds, fall short of the actual experience, however I don’t see how the depth of emtional turmoil can actually be demonstrated on TV. My other question is this, should it be? Would it make a difference to “us”? And would it actually sink in and change people’s perceptions? Anyway, I am a dr and I LOVE watching programs like Grey’s ect, their medical advisers should all be fired as the medical concepts are usually crap, but you know, it is meant as entertainment so it doesn’t bother me either.

    September 18, 2009 at 11:46 am
  • Reply Rach

    Hmmmm I saw Baby Mama and even though I did watch all of it, I was disappointed in it. I didn’t enjoy how it poked fun at the ALI world and Amy Pohler (sp) really ticked me off…..

    I’ve just read that 10 ways and just don’t even get me started….

    September 18, 2009 at 1:26 pm
  • Reply Tam

    I must say that I also watched it, I read what it was about before watching and I wondered whether it was wise considering how close to home it would be for me right now.

    I have to say that it didn’t upset me at all, of-course I shook my head at the irony of it all, like the co-ordinator saying that she realised there was a need and therefore a way to make money out of it. Which let me tell you, after seeing what it costs, I have to agree…when you’re on “this side” of it, it certainly FEELS that way – like a money making business.

    Then the co-ordinator is super fertile and has no idea of how infertility works, that has happened in this journey too when people are trying to help but they haven’t walked the road so they couldn’t possibly know where to even start and I have to laugh because they did get some of it right but no-one really felt any impact of that. It didn’t speak to me at all and I couldn’t relate because it was so far off base, i never FELT it.

    I can say that it never upset me because it wasn’t really a movie about infertility, because it was a joke of a movie and they couldn’t even capture what the world of infertility really feels like if they tried. It’s the kind of movie that you need to take with a pinch of salt IMO. And while all it does is add to the stereotyped thinking – will fertile people watching a movie about infertility REALLY get it anyway? Once the movie is finished, would they even give it a second thought, I think not.

    September 18, 2009 at 2:35 pm
  • Reply Melanie

    I second what Denise said about creating So Close into a movie, i would watch that movie a hundred times. I love it

    September 18, 2009 at 2:45 pm
  • Reply Jenny

    my worst insensitive fertility moment (oh and there have been sooo many) was when my friends’ husband offered me his sperm. A) the sperm is not the issue and B) like I would want your crappy genes anyway – would far rather be childless – maybe next time I should say that. mooooorons. Thanks for the heads up on the movie. Avoid, avoid.

    September 18, 2009 at 3:34 pm
  • Reply Stacey

    Honestly, I have to say that one of my least favorite things about the movie was the ending. It’s one of those where “everyone gets a baby.” Mmm-hmm. Because life if just like that, right?

    September 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm
  • Reply Misty

    Hi Shaz. Didn’t watch the movie, cause…why? Would not b worthwhile for my state of mind. On the article…a few things:
    1. I’m sure the writer is very fertile. She writes like one.
    2. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about. U can see every story has a little fault somewhere (injections in the back? Butt and stomach sure, but back?? and for 3 months at a time? Mmmm, ‘kay..)
    3. She sounds completely offended by these people and their choices (as if she knows anything about it)
    4. And the way she tells it, America sounds very behind in their procedures and attitudes to our clinics, with their “refusing” to help people. WTF? But I wouldn’t take her word on it…
    Okay, I’m over it…I’ll go and read some of Tertia’s book to feel better 🙂

    September 18, 2009 at 10:18 pm
  • Reply Lea White

    I didn’t watch this movie as it wasn’t showing here, we don’t have Sky TV and we actually don’t really watch TV anymore. What I can say is this – I absolutely hate it when people make fun of others whether they meant it or not, but if they deal with a sensitive subject, they should at least have the decency to make sure it portrays the truth.

    I actually wrote a long blog post after some idiots in Aus made fun of kids with terminal illnesses and I was so upset and disgusted.

    So I am absolutely totally with you on this one.

    September 19, 2009 at 12:00 am
  • Reply SCY

    The movie was just silly… it irked me some. The article, well that is can of worms on it’s own. I don’t think that the writer made any effort to properly research her info for this article. Damn. It makes me sick – we’re shown as freaks in it.

    xxx

    September 20, 2009 at 12:25 pm
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