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Chosen For The Path Less Tavelled.

About 10 years ago I did a professional (as in not one of those online freebies) aptitude test through a previous employer. The results were not surprising but did prove that I was working professionally in the “wrong” field, as a call center team manager. The results did not surprise me as I’ve always had a passion for people and especially for children. The top 3 positions listed for me were in this order:

  1. A Social Worker
  2. A Child Psychologist
  3. A mentor

Then I started trying to have a baby and kept failing miserably. Time and time again. I, like so many women on the same path, clung onto the roller coaster of our IF journey, feeling elation on the peaks, screaming, crying and beating my chest during the dips. I wasn’t always nice, I was far from perfect. But despite all the things that I was or wasn’t during that time, there was one message that I kept getting over and over and over again. Something that I believe/d in my soul to be true. That there was a purpose for all the pain, for all the high’s and low’s. That I was somehow being molded for something life changing.  That there was a greater purpose to the entire journey and that my infertility was going to change the course of my life.

I’ve been searching for that specific purpose since our journey ended with Ava’s miraculous placement. I know that part of the purpose was to lead us to Ava, of that I have no doubt. But I still believe in my core, that there is something more. I don’t know what it is yet but I have my eyes and ears peeled waiting for that purpose to be revealed.

What I do know is that I started my blog as an outlet for all my conflicted and confusing emotions as we rode that roller coaster of infertility. I wrote, I purged my thoughts and feelings onto this blog, when I read back to postings form 3 or 4 years ago, I see just how toxic some of my thoughts and feelings were. But experience changes us and I have changed because of my experience.

As time has past and I have settled more and more into motherhood, my blog too has morphed into something else. A document of Ava’s life. My thoughts, feelings and experience of adoption and being on the alternative parenting path.

But I also feel lead to use my blog to educate people about adoption.  To help those who have not experienced or cannot understand adoption to gain some knowledge and understanding of the process, the emotions, the pitfalls and joys of adoption. To bust the myths about adoption, adopted children and birth mom’s.

Lately I’ve been receiving a lot of emails from women who have read my blog and who have been touched or inspired by our story. Women who themselves are now exploring alternative paths to parenthood. Women who have gained knowledge and hope from our story. Women in desperate pain reaching out for comfort. Infertile women. Women waiting to or considering adoption. Women who have suffered repeated miscarriages. Women in the depths of despair. Women who are in emotional pain. Women who feel hopeless. Women who themselves have placed children for adoption.

And the one sentiment that all of them have shared is how our story has given them hope. And in that way, I feel my “calling” is being fulfilled.

Tomorrow I’ll be sharing, as a guest post, an email I received recently from a woman we’ll call M. A mom also through the miracle of adoption who is also waiting patiently for their second placement.

Most of all, I wanted to share that I feel blessed to have our story be a beacon of hope, even if for only one woman.

Last week I wrote this on Twitter: When we 1st started on the infertility journey, I hated it, I wanted “normal” but now I am honored to be chosen for the path less traveled.

I stand by that.

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9 Comments

  • Reply letticefamily

    It is an awesome feeling when you can help someone from what you’ve experienced yourself! Love your comment about the path less travel, such wise words.

    October 13, 2011 at 9:43 am
  • Reply hearts0ng

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and I am also one of the woman who has been inspired by your story. Thank you!

    October 13, 2011 at 12:49 pm
  • Reply Kristin

    You are amazing. I hope you realize that.

    October 13, 2011 at 6:12 pm
  • Reply Marcia (123 blog)

    I also feel like this infertiliyt journey had to be worth something, and whether that is ministry or eventually full-time work, whatever, but I KNOW part of my purpose is to inspire women to not give up!

    October 13, 2011 at 9:34 pm
  • Reply To Love Bella

    Well you know that your story is 100% what motivated and inspired me to follow the same blessed path. I really mean that. It was while reading your story at the end of 2009 that something in me awakened and ticked over. And I canNOT begin to describe the relief – the weight that lifted from my shoulders – the “aha-ness”. In all your postings, you managed to dissolve all my worries and fears about adoption.
    It’s not only our SW’s and our gorgeous BM that I owe my happiness to – you, Ava-Grace and Walter are also a major part of it.

    October 14, 2011 at 6:45 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Thanks LM. I feel blessed and honoured to know that we touched your lives in some small way!

      October 14, 2011 at 9:06 am
  • Reply Laura

    I felt similarly about being a single mom and helping women with custody and maintenance issues because it is about educating people about their rights! I still get emails asking advise and guidance about these things!

    October 14, 2011 at 9:49 am
  • Reply Sian

    So true. I feel the same. Jayden is everything I have always wanted. And all our heartache has lead us to him. I also hope to be of some suport to others on the road to adoption and the use of donro eggs. Its an alternative path but so so worth it.

    October 17, 2011 at 10:11 am
  • Reply Julia

    This post made me all teary-eyed. LOVE that you see that your entire path and existence was meant for these moments in your life.xx

    October 21, 2011 at 9:19 pm
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