With all the public holidays & all my sick leave, I have been at work 3 days in the past 3 weeks… The result? One over wrought, over worked, stressed out, deactivated, anxious, depressed, high-strung, irritated, grumpy me!
I’ve been going through a really tough time professionally over the past couple of months, having lost my 2 most important buyers on my 2 largest accounts in the same month. Add to that the very unproductive 3 weeks and I feel like I’m in a hole so deep I don’t know how to claw my way out.
Something’s got to give. I jut don’t know what. I go to Pilates at 5am, for crying in a bucket, because I have NO time. Work is so hectic that despite my “reduced” office hours, I’m having to put in loads of extra time outside of work. I have no time for ME! I haven’t been able to give myself a wax or dye my roots in weeks! I’m exhausted ALL the time. And to be honest, I think I’m a little depressed – a clue would be the floods of tears I’ve been in the past few days.
It doesn’t really help that I have a husband that:
- Works in an environment that is ALL consuming! It’s not like I can ask him to pop home early or see to something around the house if I need to stay late. The simple fact is he can’t.
- Is studying for his Masters Degree – nuff said!
Of course, I would love to chuck it all in, be a stay at home mom. But the truth is, I won’t survive as a stay at home mom firstly and secondly, I earn a really good salary, I could never expect Walter to absorb my earnings into his salary, it’s simply impossible.
So for now, I try to suck it all up. I try to wear the million caps – wife, mother, account manager, employee, chef, home maker etc etc. You know that expression: Jack of all trades and a master of none? That’s how I feel at the moment. I’m trying to do so much, I have so much on my plate, but I’m so stretched to breaking that I can’t really do anything well – and that makes me miserable!
I just don’t know how much longer I can effectively keep all these balls I’m juggling up in the air!