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Currently… All the meh’s!

Tis the season and frankly I just feel … meh!

2014 has been a great but very challenging year for me personally but it has been a shocking year for so many of my friends and indirectly this has taken a toll on me. I’m tired. I’m feeling decidedly morbid and I don’t want to get one more death notice this year. Dear Lord, please can we just have a break from that?

It’s Ava’s birthday next Saturday and I’m the most disorganized I’ve ever been. Aside from booking a photographer, cake and venue, I’ve done zip, zero, nothing and it’s starting to stress me out a little! I’ve been so disorganized, I haven’t even bothered to make a note of who has RSVP’d and who is attending, so we’re just going to have to wing it in terms of catering and hope for the best!

Then it’s Christmas and holidays and this year we’re again staying in Jozi and this has made me feel even more … meh! The tree is up only because we spent a weekend two weeks ago without electricity for 35 hours and about 30 hours in I was running out of ideas on how to keep us all entertained so we put our tree up! I have no idea what to get Walter for Christmas and right now our biggest concern is how we’re going to cough up the R50K payment for Ava’s annual school fees in January so it will be a lean Christmas. Not to mention that I still need to pay the insane deposit and enrollment for Hannah to start Grade 000 in 2017 and she starts play school next year. Right now, it’s kind of difficult to focus on Christmas spend with all those expenses hanging over our heads.

I had a tooth surgically removed on Tuesday. Ja, that was fun! I’ve been walking around with a broken tooth for the past 3 months because my dentist refused to pull it as the tooth’s roots were very large and extended up into my sinus cavity & there was a concern that regular extraction would result in further reconstructive surgery to repair my sinus. So I’ve had to wait for an appointment with a specialist which finally rolled around on Tuesday. He gave me the option of going under general anesthetic but remember I mentioned Ava’s R50k school fees coming up, so I opted to have the extraction done in the chair under local. I made him inject me about 6 times and did have a little “I’m so scared”cry in the chair while he was drilling, cutting and then extracting the tooth. The stitches are now driving me mad, they are so itchy!

Work the last few months has been insane and I’ve been under a HUGE amount of pressure, this has also just really weighted me down.

Can you tell? How much I’m lacking in this Christmas spirit this year?

I’m tired. I feel very flat. I feel sad. I need a holiday. I need a big fat shopping spree. I need wine. I just don’t even know what I need right now!

 

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11 Comments

  • Reply ailsaloudon

    You need plenty of hugs and sympathy – and a whole truckload of cash. (((HUGS))) and sympathy – can’t help with the cash 🙂

    December 5, 2014 at 12:13 pm
  • Reply Cindy

    I totally feel you on this! Been struggling with the exact same thing. The New Year will be better!!

    December 5, 2014 at 12:24 pm
  • Reply Mrs FF

    Big hugs friend!

    December 5, 2014 at 4:48 pm
  • Reply Gaelyn Cokayne

    I feel ya! So worried about finances and life and stressful awful need-all-your-attention things that Christmas is the last thing on my list. Try not beat yourself up over not being Christmassy, it’s perfectly ok to take it easy this year. xxx

    December 5, 2014 at 5:48 pm
  • Reply Heather

    Sorry Sharon. I also feel a bit battered and bruised (hurt my foot and now I have a mouth ulcer) and I don’t work full time so I can’t complain about that! Wishing you a merry Christmas anyway despite all these problems.

    December 6, 2014 at 7:24 am
  • Reply cat@jugglingact

    Oh Sharon – just hugs. And you know – this too shall pass. As always. A death close to us brings way more stress than we know.

    December 10, 2014 at 4:05 pm
  • Reply Tis The Season… For Grieving | The Blessed Barrenness

    […] still feeling all the meh’s… I’m still battling to claw my way out of a deep, dark, funk that has tears burning in […]

    December 11, 2014 at 11:18 am
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