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Currently… Also known as the one where I whine a lot or #FirstWorldProblems

It’s one week till my birthday and I have all the meh’s! Which sucks because I LOVE birthday’s. I love celebrating, I love the time with my friends but this year I’m just not feeling it! I want to do something with my friends but I don’t know what.

We were supposed to go away for my birthday but had to cancel. So much of disappointment.

Walter’s car just had an outrageously expensive service and so of course, the clutch on my car is the process of packing up.

I had my first bumper bashing EVER last week Friday. It was horrid and it was sort of my fault! Luckily I wasn’t doing anything dumb like texting while driving. I rear ended someone when they stopped suddenly after another car reversed out into the road at high speed.

Did I mention, my oven is also in the process of packing up, the top element has stopped working, hence the slow roasting I’m focusing on for the month of June. Probably a good thing otherwise I’d be baking and eating ALL the cake right now.

It’s more than a month since I quit smoking and I miss my ciggies, ex-smokers, tell me this will pass? Because it feels like its sucked the fun right out of everything. I find myself wanting to live a hermit’s existence because socializing is so hard. We went to a 40th birthday party on Saturday night and I spent the better part of the evening enjoying snuggling up to a cuddly puppy under a blanket.

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I want to eat all the chocolates but I have this hideous and overwhelming fear of getting fat again. It’s really quite awful and sometimes I worry that my fear/obsession with my weight and getting fat again isn’t normal or healthy.

I’m not sleeping well at the moment and have been having the most bizarre and inexplicable dreams. Two nights ago, I dreamt my children were kidnapped and I’ve had a horrid sense of anxiety since then.

I’m not getting as much exercise as I’d like. Which is also feeding into my fear and anxiety over getting fat again. I’ve got a pinched nerve in my buttock and a lingering sore throat which is not helping either.

So ja, everything is feeling kind of sucky right now. #FirstWorldProblems I know, I have a lot to be thankful for but just can’t seem to see the wood for the trees at the moment which sucks and I find myself getting frustrated with myself!

So someone quickly, give me a swift, roundhouse kick to the side of my head and tell me to get over myself please?

 

 

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16 Comments

  • Reply Jenny

    Not sure if you noticed on Saturday but I am so on this bus. I think actually we do need to hibernate and only come out again in the spring. I really want to go to bed and not wake up for at least a few weeks.

    June 9, 2015 at 9:56 am
  • Reply paddatjiesema

    When I quit smoking I got a timetable that showed what happens to your body after you stopped (it was similar to this list http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Benefits_Time_Table.html)

    I read it every time I felt like having a cigarette, and I would think if I have one now, then I’m back to that first hour, but if I don’t then I can make the next item on the timetable

    June 9, 2015 at 10:15 am
  • Reply A Love Beyond Measure

    Shaz, I’m also feeling very meh at the moment. I have been told that Mercury is in retrograde and so….Its Mercury’s fault!!! Last week I also had dreams of J being kidnapped, have not been sleeping well and I have been eating like a pig. My point is, I’m in the same space.

    Stopping smoking is HARD! I tried to attempt it yesterday and failed miserably. Remember that your dopamine levels will fall when you stop smoking so it may also contribute to you feeling low.

    I hope the feeling passes soon and you feel cheerier friend! Lots and Lots of Love. xxxxxxx

    June 9, 2015 at 11:23 am
    • Reply Sharon

      LOL! You’re the second person to tell me that mercury is in retrograde… I don’t even know what that means?!

      June 9, 2015 at 11:27 am
      • Reply A Love Beyond Measure

        Apparently it means that things are likely to go wrong, break and be generally frustrating. Although I am not an expert! 🙂

        June 9, 2015 at 12:12 pm
  • Reply ailsaloudon

    Oh dear – times when everything seems to go wrong can really suck.Just don’t let life get you down too much. Anxiety and depression are easy to return to, especially in winter and dreams can really affect us, even though we know very well that they are dreams. Just give hubby and kids extra hugs and don’t forget the animals. You’ll be fine. And enjoy your birthday! (((HUGS)))

    June 9, 2015 at 11:29 am
  • Reply catjuggles

    To stop smoking is hard – and impacts on everything. Mood, eating….BUT it will be all worth it in the end. And gosh, its this time of the year too – I always feel down when it gets really cold

    June 9, 2015 at 2:08 pm
  • Reply MeeA

    Ah, I hear you!
    I quit smoking for good about 8 years ago now. A year or two ago I had a cigarette over a few glasses of wine with an old smoking friend and it made me so sick, I can’t even tell you. Sometimes it takes a while but eventually, you can’t imagine why you ever started smoking at all…
    Also, my last several birthdays have been meh. It’s not the worst thing in the world.
    I do look forward to having a spectacular one, one of Hess next couple of years, though. It’s about time…
    Lastly, if spending time snuggled with a puppy in a blanket was a good time, who’s complaining? Snuggle away!

    June 9, 2015 at 6:12 pm
  • Reply Elize

    Aaaw honey, I know how you feel, for some reason I was also not in the mood to celebrate my birthday, but you MUST make a plan! Even if it’s something small and simple. I know you, and you would hate not celebrating your birthday, even if you don’t feel like it now, but still do it. Maybe while you’re adjusting to not smoking and generally feeling down how about asking your doc to increase your anti depressants for a little while, until you find your feet or until you get over this hump? Ps, I will always miss cigarettes, I’m not sure it will get better for you, but you’ll learn to live with it. Xxx

    June 9, 2015 at 8:02 pm
  • Reply Mrs FF

    Get over yourself – round house kick coming your way 🙂

    Sorry you are feeling this way, hopefully it passes and you are back to feeling like yourself again! And congrats on sticking with the no smoking!

    June 10, 2015 at 6:59 am
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