It’s CURRENTLY Thursday evening, my kids are sleeping, my husband is doing some work and I’m out on the patio, light rain falling and a bottle of wine for company.
Only I’m raging so hard that I can’t enjoy any of it!
I rarely experience rage. I’d go so far as to say, I try to avoid it, it plays HAVOC on my anxiety and when I rage, I rage hard! My rage has been known to reach epic proportions. It takes a lot to make me lose my cool, but when I do, oooh boy, it’s scary! I’ve been known to throw things, scream and shout and let it all out (see what I did there) when I rage. And while it takes a lot to push me into a rage, it also takes a hell of a lot to get me to calm down!
Tonight I have tried:
Mostly because I’m hoping the wine will make me sleep! Rage has a habit of giving me horrendous insomnia. I just know I’m going to lie in bed tonight and rage in my mind all night long!
I’ve written a letter, where I expressed my dissatisfaction my scrawling to hard on the paper the pen tore a hole in it!
I’ve tried screaming and throwing a few f-bombs into a pillow!
And now I’ve resorted into just banging out some thoughts here on my blog.
Because nothing else has worked!
So I’m distracting myself with a list of currentlys.
The Jinx on ShowMax…… holy hell!
If you love true life crime doccies, you’ll love this!
Also The Last Kingdom because I’m obsessed with anything Viking related since discovering that my maiden name dates back to Vikings of the 9th century.
Nothing massively exciting after my last two reviews but I do have a couple of books on pre-ordered from favorite authors which I’m really excited about!
I’m a little obsessed with this song from the Foo Fighters, it’s not even new, but since I discovered it, I can’t stop listening!
Also, I recently rediscovered Puddle of Mudd and it’s been playing on repeat. Loving it so much!
A couple of things! Next week I’m off to Cape Town on a business trip and staying over for the weekend, looking forward to spending some time with my family and friends and WITHOUT MY KIDS!
And….. The Blessed Barrenness has been invited to do our first ever travel review, I am besides myself with excitement for this!
What it means to be a nasty woman. Because I am a nasty woman. I am sick of every day sexism and I’ve found I’m becoming more and more aware of it. Too many people (women included) think this is about being anti men or hating men, for me, it’s not, it’s about equal rights and fair rights for me and my daughters, I have an unpublished post in my drafts, maybe I’ll be brave enough to share it. But I promise you, it’s not about hating men, or hating on your sons, it’s about wanting equal opportunity for my daughters. After a conversation with my dad and my own husband over the holidays, I was horrified to discover just how deeply entrenched and indoctrinated we all are into everyday sexism. But it’s a controversial post and I’m not sure I have what it takes to deal with it right now.
The birds and the bees talk that we need to have with Ava in the next few days. One of the boys told her some pretty horrendous stuff about oral sex at school this week and I probably didn’t handle it well. For a year now I’ve been telling her dad that we need to have THE talk and he’s had a freak out every time I’ve mentioned it. Now she’s gone right past the basics and into the nitty gritty and we can’t avoid it or bat it off anymore. The time has come and honestly, I’m terrified!
Right…. the beast within seems to have settled a little, hopefully I can go to sleep right now and that the red mist of my rage will lift.
Happy Friday y’all!