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Dear Boy Moms, One Day Your Son Will Marry My Daughter….

Please be kind to her. Respect her for who she is. Respect the bounds of their marriage and your place in it, while he will always be your son, he is now her husband. And I promise to do the same for your son. 

I’m tired of these stupid memes that go around on the internet:

As women, raising future generation of men, I certainly hope you are not raising your sons to believe in those sexist, outdated stereotypes.

It makes me angry every time I see a friend share these types of sentiments on social media. What’s wrong with you? In an age when we, as women, irrespective of whether we’re raising son’s or daughter’s,  are supposed to be standing up for women’s rights and against misogyny, in a time when I am raising my daughters to believe that they can act, dress and be who they want to be, why would you pigeon hole them like this? Why are you raising your sons to disrespect my daughters like this? Why are you raising your sons to believe these out dated values?

I get it, I really do.

You love your sons, the same way that I love my daughters. But we need to be careful of what we’re teaching them. I can assure you I am raising a daughter who won’t see your son as an ATM, she may dress in a way that you don’t like, or act in a way you don’t approve, but guess what? That’s actually none of your damn business, respect her for the strong, independent woman she will be and I promise my husband will not meet your son at the door with a shot gun! 🙂 

Can we not commit instead to raise our son’s and daughters to be

Kind

Loving

Respectful

Loyal 

With no gender bias?

Irrespective of their gender? 

Every day, as I raise my daughters, I hope they will marry into a family that will offer them those exact qualities, not into a family with a meddling mother in law who feels she has the right to judge, tarnish and hurt them.

And, every day as I look at my daughters, I hope that when they marry, I will be the kind of mother in law who is kind, loving, loyal and respectful to your sons. 

Can we just stop please?

I get that those memes are meant to be cute but they’re not, they’re actually insulting to my daughters. They’re insulting to all of us, as mother’s and they’re insulting to us as women. 

As are the memes about boy who want to marry my daughters. Luckily for you though, I don’t buy into that nonsense. 

Let’s be a village that encourages, educates, embraces, respects and banishes stereotypes instead. Our children will thank us for it. 

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6 Comments

  • Hanneke Liebenberg
    Reply Hanneke Liebenberg

    As a mom of a boy. I cannot agree with you more!!

    July 5, 2017 at 7:15 am
  • Raakhi Gadodia
    Reply Raakhi Gadodia

    Indeed! I am raising a boy with love and kindness and realize that boy or girl, respect of oneself and others is key to being happy. And that goes for parents too! Those memes drive me nuts!

    July 5, 2017 at 7:32 am
  • Frieda Tweehuysen
    Reply Frieda Tweehuysen

    Nina van der Walt.

    July 5, 2017 at 7:34 am
  • Tertia Nell Emerson
    Reply Tertia Nell Emerson

    Agreed!!

    July 5, 2017 at 8:37 am
  • The Blessed Barrenness
    Reply The Blessed Barrenness

    Thanks Boy Mom’s! I was so worried I’d get slammed for this post. It makes my heart happy that we are working together to raise loving, unbiased, committed and loving children who can expect love and support with out judgement from their inlaws. I’ve had a particularly hard time of it with my own MIL. I don’t want our kids to go through the same!

    July 5, 2017 at 10:41 am
  • Reply Debbie

    I have never actually seen those kinds of meme’s before. Only the reverse ones, mainly about dads protecting their daughters (with shotguns and all that!) or how to bring up strong, independant women. Why on earth someone with a son (myself included) would want to teach their son those kinds of things is completely beyond me! Even if its said it jest, its horrible and kind of psychotic? I have always loved the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.” Its how we try to live our lives. Loved it so much that we fell in love with the name Emerson for our LG. Thats all we need, kindness, honesty and sometimes some silliness.

    July 5, 2017 at 1:21 pm
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