When Ingrid first contacted me to participate in the Fierce Fearless, Fabulous, Forty series, I did not realise that she was the vision and brains behind Scarlet & Fine, the company with the most incredible fabrics that I’ve actually blogged about before! So this feature was quite a treat for me, to learn more about the person behind those beautiful designs.
Name and age Ingrid Loud 42
Where can we find you online?
How do you feel now that you’re in your forties?
So much calmer and way more peaceful. I don’t stress about half the stuff I used to stress about in my 30’s.
What has been your greatest achievement since turning forty?
Nothing in particular…everyday seems to be an achievement. Oh I’ve recently started Nia dancing: it’s the one and only form of exercise that rocks my world. I do it with my bestie, so we also get to have some “me” time. Making peace with and learning to like (still working on the love bit) my body: it’s the only one I’ll have so best to dig the stretch marks and saggy boobs…I have much more important things to do than weight-watch and self-deprecate.
Now, as a mature woman, do you have any regrets? Anything you wish you could go back and do differently?
I don’t really believe in regrets: every single thing that I have been through has brought me to where I am today. IN fact I’m MOST grateful for the hardships because without them I would never have had to face myself, my fears, my dark stuff. If everything is peachy and goes along smoothly, we have no need to do that. There’s a fabulous quote I found and always try to live by “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way”. Just thinking about it now, here is one thing I would have done differently: I would have sought help for my post-natal depression much sooner than I did! I suffered in silence for 18 months: worst time of my life..
If you could talk to your 20 or 30 something self, what would be one piece of advice you’d give yourself?
Marry anyone you want, just be careful who you have kids with, you will be tied to them for the rest of your life! I was married at 25, had my first daughter at 29 and my second at 32. I was divorced at 34. And the struggle was real: my ex-husband [a full-blown narcissist] couldn’t afford to pay a lot for the girls [and often just forgot to] I payed my lawyer an excessive amount of money to try and fight for my girls when I should have used government methods (maintenance court) and kept the cash for the kids. If I can add a second piece: Don’t fight! It’s exhausting and mostly futile. The negative energy it brings to the surface is really not effective when trying to live a “good” life.
What has been one/some of the biggest changes you’ve noticed within yourself since turning forty?
I take myself less seriously. I try not to over-analyse stuff. I do, however, feel a certain driving pressure to get stuff done now: bucket list stuff mainly…I think realising that 40 IS possibly half-way through my life, spurred this on. I’ve realised how quickly my daughters are growing up and I now try to balance work & life more effectively so that I can be there for them a bit more. Oh, and I finally, really and truly don’t care what people think of me (which is the ultimate, perfect freedom!)
What do you still hope to achieve in your forties?
Plenty! I have 2 businesses which I run from home. The first (9 years old) is Scarlett Fine. I used to specialise in baby’s and kids’ rooms using my own imported fabrics but have redesigned the business so that I now only sell the fabrics online and have expanded the collection/selection to include gorgeous fabrics for the whole house, which I import from the USA. I adore fabrics and always have. My second business is Houselift. I have been an Interior Designer for 25 years and am blessed to be able to help people transform their homes: from basic rearranging to full renovations…I’m happiest when I’m busy helping people. I hope for both businesses to grow and continue to pay the bills. [How blessed am I that I get to do what I love everyday!
What advice would you give to women who are fearful about approaching forty?
Don’t panic! It’s really no different: it’s not like you suddenly wake up as a renewed version of yourself [unless you want to] We can’t stop age but what we can do is embrace each and every single day.
What is one of societies stereotypes about women in their forties that you wish you could change?
I remember my mom’s 40th and how I thought back then, that she was SO old. That 40 was SO old. Now it seems so young: old enough to know (a bit) better but young enough to still actively do stuff.
Any parting thoughts or comments?
Thanks for this opportunity <3
Thank you Ingrid for your inspiring story. I related to a lot of what you said!
Are you fierce, fearless, fabulous and in your forties? Would you like to be featured in this series? Then drop me an email!