Finally! I Know The Diagnosis!

exclamation_markWe have spent the last almost 8 years in pursuit of parenthood. Trying to get pregnant, trying to stay pregnant, trying to figure out why I battle to get pregnant and why I battle to stay pregnant.

We have tried just about everything. A regular gynea, about 3 different homeopaths, reflexology, acupuncture, body stress release, herbs, lotions and potions, a consult at one fertility clinic and treatment at two other fertility clinics.

With each new pursuit, the practitioner has led us to believe that they have found the problem, that they can speculate at a diagnosis. I’ve been speculatively diagnosed with the following long list:

  1. Hyperprolactanemia
  2. 2x orange size fibroids
  3. immunological issues
  4. high stress levels
  5. elevated insulin levels
  6. blood clotting issues
  7. shared antigens
  8. natural killer cells
  9. partial uterine septum
  10. uterine scarring
  11. polyp’s
  12. 3 degree hydrosalpingus

Of course, this was all speculative as none of the millions of tests we’ve had done over the years ever picked up anything significant and each time there was a new speculation, it was treated, I’ve had treatment for every single one of the conditions listed above. Not one of the treatments was ever successful. It was all just speculation at the end of the day. Our case left all the practitioners and Dr’s scratching their heads and trying to find a new reason why I battled to fall pregnant and why I couldn’t stay pregnant.

After my last miscarriage in September 09, the speculation followed the natural progression and we were then told that there must simply be a genetic issue with my eggs. We were given two choice:

  1. GIFT – as it would increase the chances of natural selection of a healthy egg, but to be honest, after 7 pregnancies and countless chemical pregnancies, I was very skeptical that there even was such a thing as a healthy egg anywhere inside my body.
  2. Donor Eggs, this was the option we were considering, I could not face another round of treatment with my own eggs and run the risk of the same outcome, of having my hopes and my heart crushed by another miscarriage or chemical pregnancy.

Of course, again, it was all speculation, as if I’m honest, I’d have to say we have completely unexplained infertility, there is no obvious reason why things kept turning out the way they did. And I knew that should I go the GIFT or DE route, that ultimately we were taking a massive risk with no guarantee and that should that fail, the next obvious step would be surrogacy.

Thankfully, we never got that far, thankfully, our tummy mummy selected us before we could slide any further down the black, money sucking pit that is fertility treatment for us. But today, I can with clearest clarity say I know why I am infertile. I finally have a “diagnosis” and its NOT speculative. Its not experimental.

I am infertile because of destiny. I am infertile because of fate. I am infertile because God, the universe, whatever you’d like to believe or call it, I like to think its God, always intended for me to be my little darlings mother. I was not made infertile for any other reason, other than waiting for the time to be right for this beautiful child to enter the world and be ours.This is how it was always meant to be. Its why none of the Dr’s could ever find a reason for our infertility, there was only one reason and it was not medical, it was based on fate, on destiny, on God’s plan for W to be a father to this amazing child and for me to be a mother to her.

So my infertility diagnosis – its fate really!

February 25, 2010
Previous Post Next Post

24 Comments

  • Reply SassyCupcakes

    I’m glad things have come together for you and you can find some purpose for what you’ve been through. If only the rest of us were so lucky.

    February 25, 2010 at 9:08 am
  • Reply Roz

    STUNNING! SIMPLY STUNNING!

    February 25, 2010 at 9:16 am
  • Reply Abs

    Missed your last post Shaz, glad you had a fun time in CT!

    As far as your ‘Diagnosis’ is concerned…well I’ve never been much of a fatalist but in this case I have to agree. This was fate/Gods will. I still think that you can give yourself a huge amount of the credit for making the adoption happen, for never giving up on being a mom. ‘God helps those who help themselves’ seems to ring true in your case Shaz! Ava was destined to be your daughter without a doubt! xxxx

    February 25, 2010 at 9:19 am
  • Reply Anneke

    Wow Sharon, what a touching post!
    And I agree, it was God.

    Ava is blessed to have you as a mommy xx

    February 25, 2010 at 9:27 am
  • Reply Bratty

    I got goosebumps reading your post today. So many people do not get it….every bump and curve in our life is there for a reason. We learn, we grow and ultimately we get to our destination. We question the reasons for feeling pain, feeling disappointed…but we need to trust that this is our path. I truely believe in the Universe and God…and I have to keep faith that, yes, my heart may be broken on my journey…but my soul will be protected…cause I AM DESTINED for bigger things. In your case..your prize…a beautiful daughter, Ava Grace. Congratulations…you are clearly a winner…smile

    February 25, 2010 at 9:32 am
  • Reply Julia

    Wow…I got goosebumps and a tear in my eye while reading this. God is amazing. I am so happy for you and W…xx

    February 25, 2010 at 9:43 am
  • Reply Mash

    I totally agree with you. And none of the journey was wasted, you had to go through that to end up where you are today.

    February 25, 2010 at 10:07 am
  • Reply Katherine

    Brilliant post. It’s something that every mommy after infertility realises at some point I think. All the losses, blood tests, investigations, heartache, tears, trying to put on a brave face, etc.,etc.,etc. do make sense when you hold your baby in your arms and realise it was all worth it just to experience that incredible feeling of utter joy and I believe “our” joy is just a little bit greater because of all that’s gone before.

    February 25, 2010 at 10:10 am
  • Reply jan

    beautiful Shari and I agree

    February 25, 2010 at 10:43 am
  • Reply K

    I have gone cold and full of goosebumps.. but in the good kind of way when you know you are experiencing a universal truth.. no other words.. xxx

    February 25, 2010 at 12:01 pm
  • Reply Denise

    Sharon, I’m glad you feel this way. I truly believe that our children choose us whether by birth or adoption they find their parents and when that happens you know immediately.

    February 25, 2010 at 1:34 pm
  • Reply SCY

    I agree with this. Ava was meant to be your daughter, you and W were meant to be her parents. It’s a God given gift and He knew all along that this was how it would turn out.

    I’m just so glad your “fate” has finally delivered the fruit.

    xxx

    February 25, 2010 at 2:02 pm
  • Reply Jahni

    Amazing. And she’s amazing too.

    February 25, 2010 at 2:41 pm
  • Reply Tam

    I have always always believed that oneday, somehow we would know why we had to go thru all of this and have always believed that there was a reason for everything.

    It makes my heart happy to know that you have finally found your answers.

    Much love always Xxx

    February 25, 2010 at 3:38 pm
  • Reply Gen

    I totally AGREE, and i am so happy that you have found FINALLY a “diagnosis”

    February 25, 2010 at 3:45 pm
  • Reply Susan

    So beautifully expressed. I always said to others that the reason I had 3 failed IVF’s was not because of a medical issue, but because no matter how hard I tried, God is in control – and He alone decides the outcome. You make wonderful parents (it shows through your blog). Tummy Mommy is very blessed.

    February 25, 2010 at 3:51 pm
  • Reply Kristin

    I am so glad you have your baby girl!

    February 25, 2010 at 6:13 pm
  • Reply Hollie

    GIGANTIC AMEN, SISTER! YOU ARE SO VERY RIGHT! I think we can all say that our path of infertility has lead us, however painful it may be, to the place that we need to be. I’m so happy for you and your family, truly beautiful!! <<>>>

    February 25, 2010 at 7:06 pm
  • Reply Stacey

    How amazing to look back on your journey and all you’ve been through, and watch it all come together in the form of this beautiful baby girl in your arms. Beautiful post!

    P.S. So glad you had a great time away and made it safely back!

    February 26, 2010 at 12:01 am
  • Reply Lea White

    Great post Sharon and I do believe that things happen as they are meant to even though the journey there might be hard and tough, but the rewards are just so great!

    February 26, 2010 at 6:07 am
  • Reply Kirsty

    stunning post Shaz. I couldn’t imagine Ava as anything other than your gorgeous daughter x-x

    February 26, 2010 at 7:05 am
  • Reply Chopper1

    I love this post. And I agree 100%. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason – be they good or bad.
    xxx

    February 26, 2010 at 7:08 am
  • Reply sophie

    Totally agree !
    It is beautiful to realise that and to see how the whole IF/TTC transforms itself to the strong love and reassurance you are transmitting to Ava !

    February 26, 2010 at 10:33 am
  • Reply Eva

    Wow. That was very inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    February 27, 2010 at 2:15 am
  • I LOVE comments, leave yours here:

    You may also like

    %d bloggers like this: