My Gender Neutral Child In A Gender Obsessed World

Posted in Parenting by

This is my daughter!

She describes herself as a girl/boy. In her 6 year old mind, this means that she looks & feels like a girl but she likes boys things. In her explanation, she finds girls things stupid and uncomfortable.

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She loves Skylanders & Ben10!

And shorts & T-shirts, Converse High Tops and the colour blue. 

She loves board shorts and low pony tails, not ribbons and bows.

She can’t stand Barbie. But loves animals. She loves science experiments and maths. Drawing and sculpting. Dirty finger nails and ratty hair. 

She really hates pink!

But she loves babies. She’s tough as nails and as sensitive as could be.

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She is not sugar & spice and all things nice.

She loves ponies and bike rides and skateboards and paper airplanes not paper dolls. She loves boys. She loves boys toys. She loves to ruffle and tumble and tease and fight. 

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She loves notebooks & pens & doodling.

She loves Jack Parrow and dancing and zef and alternative. 

She loves boxes and books and paints and scissors. 

She’s quirky and unpredictable. Kind and compassionate. Tough and strong. 

She’ll march to the beat of her own drum, with her own sense of style, her head held high and not care a damn what anyone has to say about it.

But she’ll cry over an injured bird or an unwanted dog. 

Please world, just accept her in all her quirky glory, don’t break her.

Maybe she’s just a tomboy but maybe she isn’t. Either way, she’s perfectly imperfect and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her!

October 11, 2016
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30 Comments

  • Reply Emy Clarke

    Love this! Was chatting to a friend about this topic recently as Jae-Lyn is a perfect mix of princess and tomboy. Yes, she loves her pink and frills but she would prefer wearing them whilst running around outside in the mud.

    A family member actually had the nerve to say to me the other day that I should have a little boy, then Jae-Lyn wouldn’t be so boyish. I think that she is pretty perfect actually, and if she chooses the car over the barbie then so be it. I hate how everything is clearly set out as a boy thing or a girl thing.

    October 11, 2016 at 8:14 am
    • Reply Sharon

      I think people need to just embrace kids for who they are!

      October 12, 2016 at 2:58 pm
  • Reply debs

    Sharon, she sounds just like you? Marches to the beat of her own drum? She is beautiful. x

    October 11, 2016 at 8:31 am
    • Reply Sharon

      LOL! This part is true! She also has a strong streak of determination which my husband is convinced she gets from me!

      October 12, 2016 at 2:59 pm
  • Reply chastin dreyer

    She is perfect just as she is, my middle son loves playing dress up and my little pony and asked for a kitchen set and doll 2 Christmas’s ago he got them, gender stereotypes are ridiculous

    October 11, 2016 at 8:44 am
    • Reply Sharon

      I agree, they are ridiculous.

      October 12, 2016 at 3:00 pm
  • Reply PaulaGruben

    Absolutely love this whole post. She sounds like MY kind of person. x

    October 11, 2016 at 9:28 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Good to know…. I suspect she’s going to grow up to be arty!

      October 12, 2016 at 3:00 pm
  • Reply catjuggles

    Oh he is just perfect the way she is. I have also found that lots of little girls have boy things that they love. For instance A is quite a girly girl but went through a 3 year phase where she seldom wore dresses and skirts because she so much preferred shorts. She adores cricket and is very sad she can not play cricket for the school (although there seem to be a movement to allow the girls to fit into the boys teams) and she would play rugby any time if she gets the chance. She does however love to dance the most of all.

    I also think it is great that they balance their world out by being just themselves and having bits of both worlds.

    October 11, 2016 at 9:53 am
    • Reply catjuggles

      Agh – typo – “Oh she is just perfect..”

      October 11, 2016 at 9:55 am
  • Reply moonstormer

    LOVE this!!

    October 11, 2016 at 12:37 pm
  • Reply Zayaan Schroeder

    Love this. Reminds me so much of myself as a kid. I’d much rather be climbing trees than having tea parties. I’m still inclined to dress more boyish and don’t even ask me about make up because I just don’t know. She’s amazing!

    October 11, 2016 at 4:22 pm
  • Reply Pamdora

    When my husband called my daughter a tomboy, she suddenly refused to wear any skirts or dresses, as she thought that meant she has to dress like a boy! When I explained it she went right back to being a girl that loves all kinds of things. It sad we designate things as boy things and girl things. While its acceptable for a girl to like ‘boy things’, with boys there is far less acceptance if they like ‘girl things’. They should just be able to like what they like.

    October 11, 2016 at 6:29 pm
  • Reply Melanie

    Questioning gender and stereotypes is fantastic, important and really just wonderful. Your attitude towards your child will serve her well. She knows from you that she is worthy of respect no matter what she does or how she looks.

    My daughters have now at 9 and 11 are comfortable being girls. But if that should ever change I will love my children and fight for their rights to self identify.

    Mine are poles apart. One loves pink, dresses, baby dolls, sports and cars.
    The other loves pants and baggy tshirt, playing with tiny toys, making up stories and climbing trees (mostly to get away from little sister). They are also imperfect in the most perfect way.

    October 11, 2016 at 8:18 pm
  • Reply SuzannaCatherine

    Such a great post! And such a wonderful way to express your support for your child. I love it.

    October 12, 2016 at 2:07 pm
  • Reply belindamountain

    Love this xx

    October 12, 2016 at 8:39 pm
  • Reply azestylife

    Gorgeous post. My son (three & a half) will only ever be the fairy when the dress up box comes out. xx

    October 20, 2016 at 12:27 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      Bless! Because actually who cares right?

      October 20, 2016 at 1:02 pm

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