Here We Go………………

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Yup, that would be me, climbing back on the scary invisible roller coaster. The roller coaster that can’t be seen, only felt, from the greatest highs to the lowest lows and but you just never know when you’re going to sent tumbling to the depths of despair or shooting up, high up or whether you’re going to be shaken from side to side, right to your core. Any of you been fortunate enough to go to Disney World? I have, twice! And there’s a ride there that as a child I just LOVED. Space Mountain! Oh my word, my infertility journey is just like space mountain, shooting me from bright flashing lights into the darkest dark, throwing me from side to side, up and down and screaming my head off, praying for it to end and then when it does end, leaving me wanting to go back for more! For those of you have not had the pleasure, check out the video:

I’m feeling somewhat apprehensive, but at the same time resigned to what may lie ahead. It appears I worried for nothing yesterday, AF arrived in full force late yesterday afternoon so I’ll be heading off to my clinic on Friday morning for the hideous CD2 Dildo Cam Scan. Ugh, I’m SOOOOO not looking forward to that. Have already started the debate in my head, the pro’s and cons of tampons versus pads and what clothing would be easiest to wear on the bottom for easy removal and dressing again. I’m so tired of this all, is it just me or is it somewhat humiliating each time we have to go through this, it just feels so undignified!

If all goes according to plan I should hopefully be able to have my second HSG done next week and W is arriving back on Tuesday evening, so I can pack him off later next week for a repeat SA. Not sure what else will be tested again, but I have a feeling I’ll be having another FSH and AMH test done over and above the HSG. Then depending on those results we could be looking at some stimulated timed cycles or perhaps a couple of IUI’s. I’m trying not to think about worst case scenario for now (my left tube being blocked) because we’re not in a position financially to attempt IVF and I am not in a position, emotionally or spiritually to take on an IVF now. If that does land up being the case, I may very well put all TTC plans on hold till we get to NZ, get our residency and I can cash in on my two FREE (yes people that would be FREE) IVF’s!

Aaah well, nothing to do but get it over and done!

September 18, 2008
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7 Comments

  • Reply Kirsty Weaver

    I’ve been on space mountain! Twice!! Scared the crap outta me!
    How about you just go commando into the RE office?? That way, there’s no embarrasing moment as you have to remove your knickers and expose your nether regions. xx

    September 18, 2008 at 10:25 am
  • Reply charne

    thinking of you and hope all the tests go well

    xxx

    September 18, 2008 at 11:02 am
  • Reply samcy

    You’re in my thoughts and prayers my friend! With you on this ride – all the way!!

    xxx

    September 18, 2008 at 1:16 pm
  • Reply Murgdan

    I love roller coasters…but not so much the ones that have to do with life. Wow… and it is so undignified to have to spread our legs for every visit…uuuggh. Ok. Wait. What 2 free IVFs? and HOW long till you get there? I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.

    September 18, 2008 at 1:33 pm
  • Reply Michelle

    Aagh Shaz – sometimes I just want off this Roller coaster. I don’t even like them!! So, I’ll be there for you all the way. Wishing you all the very best fro your visit with Dr G in the morning. Thinking of you my friend.

    September 18, 2008 at 2:12 pm
  • Reply C

    Good that AF finally arrived, she loves to do delay just for fun. Good Luck for Friday.

    September 18, 2008 at 2:42 pm
  • Reply Elize

    We’re here for you every step of the way hon!

    September 19, 2008 at 8:51 am
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