I fail… all the time… and I’m trying to learn to #LetGo

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Wednesday. Before I got out of my car after arriving home from work, I was confronted by a distraught Ava. She wanted to know why I wasn’t at her charity tuck day, why I had gone to work instead of being at her school function like some of the other mom’s. The tears rolled down her cheeks while she explained to me how she had looked for me there all morning. Que the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Guilt.

As a woman and a mother, I am overwhelmed daily. The pressure. The pressure to be the perfect mother, perfect employee, perfect wife, perfect friend, perfect sister, perfect daughter, perfect woman. Striving to juggle all those hats, fulfill all those roles perfectly… it’s impossible, it’s a recipe for disaster. It’s a recipe for guilt and a sense of failure.

I struggle with this daily. When I’m at work but worrying about my children or when I’m screaming at my children while worrying about work. I fail. Daily. When I’m running out the office to fetch my children and thinking about work, when a friend is in need and I can’t be there like I feel I should and want to be. When I tried to quit smoking and failed again and let my children and my family down. When I gained 6kg’s earlier this year and let myself down. When I don’t achieve my monthly target at work and earn less, letting my company and my family down.

The overwhelming pressure to be everything to everyone and failing to achieve the impossible.

What the hell, it’s time to let it go!

But how?

I came across this article and the video attached really struck a chord with me:

Now if I only knew how to just breathe, relax and #LetGo but it’s easier said than done.

September 4, 2015
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24 Comments

  • Reply nickyhster

    I feel like this all. the. time.

    September 4, 2015 at 9:07 am
    • Reply Sharon

      It’s exhausting!

      September 4, 2015 at 9:17 am
  • Reply Nisey

    LOVE the video #LetGo

    September 4, 2015 at 9:22 am
  • Reply Christine Kenny

    It’s utterly exhausting. Don’t be so tough on yourself, you’re a supermom!

    September 4, 2015 at 9:39 am
  • Reply Pandora

    Love the video, so true. I am really trying to be this year, it’s not easy, but I am trying, and I love the idea of the ‘to don’t do’ list. So much of what we think is important really isn’t.

    September 4, 2015 at 9:58 am
  • Reply Celeste

    It’s the most exhausting and utterly devastating feeling. I love the video, thank you for sharing.

    September 4, 2015 at 9:58 am
  • Reply catjuggles

    Oh gosh, I needed this today.

    September 4, 2015 at 10:01 am
  • Reply Gena

    I think we as working mom’s expect far too much of ourselves. But it comes with the territory I ‘spose. I think you do a phenomenal job, and your Gr R projects etc with Ava are amazeballs; I’m so grateful I haven’t had to do anything like that with Morgan-Lee’s Gr R, because I would majorly fail at that xx

    September 4, 2015 at 10:42 am
  • Reply Fertile Minds

    I know…its tough! I feel that I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. Pressure to be perfect! I also need to learn to let go, but thats not so easy.

    September 4, 2015 at 12:24 pm
  • Reply Belinda Mountain (@BelindaMountain)

    Oh my word that video has made me cry. “I’d spend more time being, and not doing”. Ah – thank you for the reminder. Also, I know I go on about my Mindfulness course but it encompasses all of these principles (letting go, being kind to yourself and being in the moment). If you ever find time (!) you should try a beginner course out.

    September 4, 2015 at 12:37 pm
  • Reply Tracy Kensey

    I saw this too! We all share your pains. Thanks for sharing to more ladies..perhaps our generation of mothers can get get the message out, through people like you, of what is really important in life. Xx

    September 5, 2015 at 8:25 am
  • Reply September Roundup and Linky - South African Mom Blogs

    […] has a good post for  us stressed out moms: I fail … all the time and I’m trying to learn to #Let Go. She has a link to a good video in the […]

    October 1, 2015 at 9:34 pm
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