Finally informed my employer about our planned second adoption!
I’ve been wrestling with how to broach this topic with them since before we went for our second adoption assessment.
On the one hand, I felt it was my prerogative to have a second child and that I didn’t need to ask permission or forewarn my employer. I mean, I don’t know any woman who marches into her bosses office and announces that her and her husband are having sex as they plan to have another baby. After all the assessment phase of adoption is like trying to conceive and the waiting for selection phase is like pregnancy, without the symptoms or clear end in sight.
On the other hand, I have worked for my current employer going on 7 years. In that time they’ve shown the same loyalty to me as I’ve shown to them. They have been good to me and looked after me and were generous with my time off and remuneration during my maternity leave after Ava’s birth. Even though I’d only told them 6 days earlier we were going to meet our BM and then the Sunday night after Ava’s birth sent them an sms saying Ava had been born and I wouldn’t be back at work and offer me whatever maternity benefit you like. I put them in a difficult position over a key trading period, but they were still there for me, they still looked out for me. That and the fact that often the period between selection by a BM and taking baby home is usually very very short, a matter of days, with adoption.
So I really felt like I owned them some notice but really wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. I mean no employer is every jumping up and down with joy when a female employee in a key position ups and leaves for a few months, most certainly not on a professional level anyway.
So I saw a gap this week, took a deep breath and told them. Their response was as I’d hoped it would be. One of full support for our plan to adopt a second time. As well as confirmation that I would indeed get a most likely improved maternity benefit on the last time with an option to negotiate working from home for a month or two.
I do feel as though a weight has been lifted and that at least now, when I storm down the passage and announce to our MD that we’ve been selected by a birth mom and I was going on maternity leave with probably no notice, it won’t comes as a total shock to them.