I’m not THE Poo, I’m just the poo on the bottom of a shoe!

Posted in motherhood, Parenting by

I’m a wife, mother, friend, talker, thinker, reader, writer. I’m also my children’s least favorite person and I won’t lie, while that fact has its benefits at times, like when we’re at a party and I want to just chill and hang with my friends, I can because my kids couldn’t give a rats ass whether I’m there or not, so long as dad is around, there are times when it hurts!

A couple of weeks ago, I had a really tough day at work, I also had PMS and was in a foul mood and I came home on the verge of tears and just needing and wanting some TLC from my children. But Dad got home before me and they weren’t interested in me at all! While they had their usual argument, which goes something like this:

Hannah – My Daddy!

Ava – NO! My Daddy!

Hannah – NO! NO! NO! My Daddy!

Ava – MY DADDY!!!!

Walter – smug smile while two little girls wrestle over who gets which position on his lap

Me, all by myself on the other couch with no one fighting over whose mommy I am, no one trying to sit on my lap. So I tried to get one of them to come and sit and cuddle with me. Ok, I was rather childish about it, snatching them off Walter’s lap and trying to force a cuddle, which resulted in tears and screams for Daddy, and tears from me and some foot stomping and behavior worthy of a petulant child (my behavior that is)  I told them all to get lost… in rather ugly terms and marched off in a huff and a sulk to bed. Stuff them all, they only want Daddy, Daddy likes how they fight over them, then he can deal and bath them and feed them and I’m going to lie in bed and watch TV and not help and SCREW YOU ALL!

Real mature I know!

#soulfood after an emotionally tough day! #infertility #adoption

A photo posted by Sharon (@blessedbarrenness) on

But the thing is, it frikkin hurts! And Walter says I should not let it bother me, that they’re just little girls and when they start approaching their teenage years, the pendulum will swing and they’ll forget about Daddy and only want Mommy, to take them shopping, talk about boys and make up, manicures and pedicures. But that’s not the point. I want sweet little girl cuddles and love and attention NOW.

Snuggles on the couch with my most precious! ❤️❤️ A photo posted by Sharon (@blessedbarrenness) on

And then I got to chatting to a friend last night, she has one child, a boy, and she says it’s the same in their house. Mom is everything, till Dad arrives and then Mom becomes the poo on the bottom of someones shoe, that should be aggressively rubbed off on the grass?

And I know from conversations I’ve had with other Mom’s that this is not unique to just me. Don’t get me wrong, I think my husband is an amazing father and I totally get and love that fact that his girls love, adore and idolize him, but sheesh, I don’t want to always feel like I’m the poo to be wiped off of someone’s shoe.

I cook, I nurture, I care, I feed, I see to all their school needs and extra mural activities, I schedule and arrange play dates and fun activities, I feed, clean and care for the bloody million and twenty silkworms, I clean vomit and whipe shitty bums and am good enough when they’re sick and needy or hurt and yet, I’m really just invisible when Daddy is around.

And it damn well HURTS!

It’s a silly #selfie or is it an #ussie

A photo posted by Sharon (@blessedbarrenness) on

September 30, 2015
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27 Comments

  • Reply nunu5

    I am in the same place my husband is amazing, playing with our children, no matter where we are he collects children. Some ladies even bought him a beer once to say thanks 🙂 I got jealous so we had a 3rd 🙂 now there is always one wanting space on my lap. But also I realized I needed to have fun with them too. I am not a big roll around on the ground games person so I have found activities like bingo that they love and DH is not too into, and they are now my thing with my children. Also I have learnt to chase them now and again – they just love that.

    But it hurts when your broken nights of sleep and mundane jobs for them are not appreciated. Is that not why they say we always appreciate our mom’s more when we have children.

    September 30, 2015 at 12:01 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      I do think that is a part of it. I’m not a great “player” while Walter is. I’m the nurturer and he’s the playing parent. Perhaps that’s what makes the difference?

      October 1, 2015 at 9:44 am
  • Reply Jenny

    ha ha for us it’s a fair split – Dyl is all about Dad, Ev is all about Mom. I like to think of it as merely evolutionary evidence: kids can act out with their moms because they know we are biologically wired to stay with them. Dads on the other hand come and go so they always have to play up to the dad, put on their best show to keep them around. That’s what I tell myself. 😉

    September 30, 2015 at 12:02 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      I’m inclined to agree with you Jen!

      October 1, 2015 at 9:44 am
  • Reply nunu5

    Oh when all else fails – I use bribery :0

    September 30, 2015 at 12:04 pm
  • Reply Pheodora

    Ha ha, sorry mommy. I totally identify with you. Between my 2yr old daughter and my 6yr old son I’m lucky if I even get a glance my way when daddy is around. Luckily my 6yr old is a “feely” kind of child who wants to talk about how everything makes him feel, and guess who he comes to for that?! Mommy dearest. As your hubby has said, times will change and soon the only person who they’ll want to hang with will be mommy. Hang in there.

    September 30, 2015 at 12:15 pm
  • Reply cath

    Hah. Yes. I have a theory on this – that moms are the daily story and dad is the novelty… and that’s why it’s always Dad who wins. It’s the same in our house! X

    September 30, 2015 at 1:29 pm
  • Reply catjuggles

    I think my comment disappeared. TO summize – same here – but from about 9 things start to change and the mom/daughter thing grows

    September 30, 2015 at 3:14 pm
  • Reply Cassey Toi

    That’s my house. And I’m with you it hurts and sucks so much sometimes. I’m also the one that gets all the tantrums, while daddy gets nothing but smiles and hugs 🙁

    September 30, 2015 at 3:40 pm
  • Reply Bianca

    I can so relate! Although, I have to say that now that my girls are a bit older ( 5 and 7) things have evened out quite a bit. But I used to get sooo upset by being rejected by my girls, particularly my youngest.

    September 30, 2015 at 4:30 pm
  • Reply Jodie

    What lovely pictures – your girls are gorgeous! I know the feeling…when Ethan went through his “I only want daddy phase”, as the first child, it hurt like hell ‘cos he was always a mummy’s boy but that changed very quickly and at times, I must admit, I wish he’d prefer daddy to me so that I can get a freaking break. And then Riley is dad verskrik…that’s until he’s tired/crabby/sick…then it’s just mummy. My husband more feels like you in the house though. When Riley clearly showed a preference for him, he said something like “finally somebody in the house loves me”, hahahahaha. Are girls not more to their daddy’s and boys to their mummies or is that just a big generalisation?! Enjoy the times when they’re super attached to you I guess and I’d say – as hard as it may be – remember that parenting isn’t a competition. Both girls, I’m sure, probably need the both of you equally although you feel that they’re showing a preference to dad 🙂

    October 2, 2015 at 8:20 am
  • Reply Megan

    I get this too, I think because Dad is the fun one and I’m the boring one who is always cooking and cleaning. Sigh.

    October 6, 2015 at 8:34 am
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