It’s Been One Hell Of A Ride….

Posted in Adoption Option by
rollercoaster

The last couple of months have been filled with emotional high’s and crushing lows. There has been so much going on behind the scenes that I haven’t wanted to share here on my blog. But now that the ride seems to be leveling out, I’m going to fill in on what’s been happening.

On the 25th March we will have been waiting for two full years for our second placement. It has not been easy. I never dreamed it would it would take so long. I knew a second placement would be harder and take longer but I could never have imagined two years ago that we’d still be waiting…

Aside from our close call with Baby K last year, all has been silent on the adoption front. No matches, no close calls, well none that I’m aware of anyway. And the more timed past, the more Ava has started asked about her sibling, or more specifically about her baby sister.

Then in February, suddenly things started to happen and both Walter and I were convinced this was it. We are working with two different agencies to find the perfect match for us. We were contacted by both agencies, literally within weeks of each other,  with possible matches. Both boy babies, one already born, one due in March. You can imagine our excitement…. With odds like that surely one of them would work out?

Sadly it was not to be. With the one baby, there was consent with no intent as although the initial papers had been signed, they indicated they wanted to withdraw consent before choosing adoptive parents. With the second baby, there was intent but no consent.

We have soared high on the wings of happiness and excitement only to come crashing down to earth in disappointment when neither one of these possibilities panned out. It has been hard. I have planned and dreamed about bringing home one of those babies and then I have cried bitter tears at the loss of something that was never mine to begin with. The hardest part has been surrendering to the process. We have no control over it, we have no influence and no power and have to put our trust in the in our social workers and brave the ride.

But, damn, it has not been easy. My stomach as literally eaten itself with the tension of it all.

BUT

I do believe we are so so so very close, after almost two years of nothing, it does feel like things are suddenly starting to move forward and both Walter and I are hopeful that our happy ending as a family of four is just around the next corner…..

March 21, 2013
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8 Comments

  • Reply Already a 100% mom, but not legally. Considered foster for now.

    What a difficult time it has been for you. Wishing you strength & hope until you bring Ava’s sibling home.

    We have had a looooooooong wait & it looks like our adoption of our daughter (who was placed in foster care with us 2 years & 4 months ago) might actually happen in the next few months. We applied to adopt her as soon as she came home to us in November 2010 & it has been a process of waiting & waiting & waiting & waiting & waiting & waiting. We tried applying to adopt again (a straight adoption this time, no fostering first), however our agency (a state one, not private) has a policy that they don’t work on more than one adoption with a family at a time. So we have to wait until this adoption is a done thing before we apply to adopt again. Their refusal felt devastating for me / us, however we had no choice but to surrender to their process. Going with a private agency is not an option, because financially it’s impossible for us.

    So the waiting continued. Our daughter will be 4 next month & we know she’ll be a wonderful big sister.

    So strength to you & your beautiful family.

    March 21, 2013 at 4:19 pm
  • Reply Ailsa Jean Porter

    So sorry to read about your tremendous challenges. I hope things will turn around for you soon. Sadly many girls are not giving their babies up for adoption (I presume) nowadays! Good luck!!

    March 21, 2013 at 4:20 pm
  • Reply Tracy

    I’m sorry you’re having a tough time.

    March 21, 2013 at 8:10 pm
  • Reply Daryl Faure

    I pray you will not have too much longer to wait before you get your newest family member. Sorry to hear you have been have been on such a roller coaster ride.

    March 21, 2013 at 8:49 pm
  • Reply karabo

    sorry to hear about what you are going through! It shall happen, keep the faith going, believe it and live it

    March 22, 2013 at 9:16 am
  • Reply Jeanette

    ((hugs)) hope it happens soon.

    March 22, 2013 at 11:01 pm
  • Reply sopie

    Sorry for the difficult times …. Hope it happens soon !!
    Be strong,
    Sophie

    March 25, 2013 at 11:55 pm
  • Reply cat@jugglingact

    Oh Sharon, my heart breaks for you

    March 27, 2013 at 3:33 pm
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