Do you really think as modern women, we can really have it all? Can we have successful careers, happy families and a sense of peace and fulfillment, all at the same time?
Sometimes, often times, I find myself thinking about this, while juggling the disease of busyness. Maybe our Grandmothers were right? Maybe we would be better off barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen? Although I would have TOTALLY failed at the pregnant part.
Ok, not really, but you know what I mean right?
In our modern era of exorbitant living costs, the majority of families rely on two incomes to make ends meet. My family is no different. I work because I like to work. I work because we need my income. But I also love my children more than life itself and I would gladly sacrifice my like of work to spend my days seeing to all of their needs. Yes, it would probably also drive me to the brink of insanity but that’s the part of me I’m willing to sacrifice out of love for my girls.
There I said it. I am a middle aged women in the new millennium who is secretly wishing I didn’t want to have it all. Secretly wishing I didn’t strive to have it all.
Because trying to have it all is bloody hard work you guys. I constantly feel like I’m failing someone in my life. When I’m not with my children, I long to be with them, to spend time baking and playing and doing what other SAHM’s get to do.
Recently, I went back to full time office hours. We/I needed the money and my employer made it worth my while. I’m not happy about it. It’s a few hours a week that I now don’t get to spend with my girls and that has a knock on effect. Because working reduced office hours also meant that I could get shopping and other chores done during the week and spend my entire weekend with my family. Now I can’t because grocery shopping and the like, now that needs to be done over weekends.
So again, I find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. Wishing for more time with my children but having to balance that against the need for an income.
My life is consumed by this disease of busyness. I work, a lot. For my employer and on the side taking on small content creation writing gigs to make a few extra bucks. And so often I feel like I’m just chasing my tail but I’m not really sure for what reason.
And perhaps that’s the biggest obstacle that faces us as modern women? The desire to be everything to everyone but losing a part of ourselves in the process? A desire to have it all but never quite having a sense of peace or fulfillment from it all.
Or perhaps it’s just me. I long for a simple life. I long for a peaceful life, where I’m not chasing schedules and deadlines and trying not to forget about show & tell and school bake sales and the next writing project that needs completion.
I dunno hey, it’s like Zoe said…. I know I wouldn’t be happy without either aspect, so it’s not like I can just stop working or stop mothering.
Because I can’t/won’t give up on either roll but I just don’t know how to have a sense of peace amidst the chaos of my life. And I am constantly aware that I am an example to my daughters and what will they strive to achieve as adults having had me as their example?
So … do you think modern women can have it all? Because sometimes I look around me and I’m just not really sure I want it all!