Lets Talk About Pooh Baby…

Posted in Parenting by

Let’s talk about you and me, lets talk about all the good things and the bad things that maybe, lets talk about pooh, lets talk about pooh!

*sung to the tune of Salt-n-Pepa’s song Lets Talk About S.E.X.*

*TMI alert stop reading now if you’re squeamish!*

One of the things I never anticipated when becoming a mother was how obsessed I would become with my child’s bowel movements or lack there of, from how often to she pooh’s or doesn’t pooh. I’m an expert and the meanings of pooh textures, colours and smells! My life is governed by her poop schedule. When I arrive home in the afternoon’s, the first thing I ask the nanny is if she’d pooped and how many times she has pooped.

This is not a phase, I’m now two and a half years into being a mother and while the stages of my pooh diary have changed the actual obsession with poop has not!

When Ava was a newborn I was obsessed with the best ways to effectively remove the sticky tar like meconium from her skin.

Then we had the unfortunate incident at Constantiaberg Medi Clinic involving a trip to the emergency room and getting the on call Pead to come and see my newborn babies bowel movement and her meconium switched to normal baby pooh while I held back the tears of shock caused by the yellow, runny goo smeared into her nappy.

Shortly thereafter she began battling with Colic and constipation and I learned all about administering glycerine suppositories, a.n.a.l fissures and compacted constipation.

I lived and breathed for the times when Ava pooped. I’d panic when she didn’t poop, I’d mark off on the calendar when she did poop, the consistency, the colour, how many days in between poops.

I became a pro and applying topical aesthetics and administering suppositories. I learned how to help her in the times when her constipation was so bad she was writhing in pain. How when her constipation became so impacted that she struggled even with a suppository and a dose of Pegicol, making her body stiff and screaming from the pain it caused. I knew how to give her relief.

I have caught pooh’s with my bare hands as they’ve fallen out her bum on the way to the bathroom. I’ve had pooh under my finger nails and on my fingers. I’ve washed down a body covered in pooh more times than I care to remember.

I have gagged and cleaned up when Ava went through a phase of taking a dump in the early hours of the morning and then removing her nappy and dropping a brown steaming cigar on the carpet.

Now we are potty training! Which has gone amazingly well, a couple of accidents but nothing for 5 days and counting. I am very proud of Ava, it’s like something has just clicked! She knows when she wants to use the toilet, we don’t need to ask her if she needs to go to the loo. She will simply announce she needs the toilet and takes herself off to the toilet, even insisting on closing the bathroom door.

Fantastic right?

Well yes, except that she won’t make a pooh in the toilet. In the past week, I’ve gingerly wadded my hand in toilet paper to remove mud balls from her underpants. I have stared into the toilet looking for any evidence of a pooh each time she proudly announces she has pooh’d in the toilet and I have bunched up wads of loo paper and collected little mud parcels off the floor next to the toilet while she loudly exclaims: “Eeeuw Mommy! That’s yukky!”

I am the queen of pooh!  I could never have dreamed in my years of being childless that one day my life would be so governed my pooh!

While motherhood is full of wet kisses, squishy hugs and warm fuzzy’s, it’s also the most unglamorous job I’ve ever had! A total pooh fest!

 

June 20, 2012
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10 Comments

  • Reply Corrina Solbach

    This made me lough out loud. I so hear you on this one!

    June 20, 2012 at 10:51 am
  • Reply Jenny

    I remember this phase so well and am about to face it again – I cannot tell you how many underpants I just tossed in the bin. Sometimes you just can’t rinse another poo!

    June 20, 2012 at 11:36 am
  • Reply Laura

    Oh good heaven above!

    David is doing potty training!!!

    June 20, 2012 at 11:44 am
  • Reply Lisa-Marie

    LOL!! I am totally obsessed with poo too – if Isabella has not had one during the day, I fret more than a little bit!!
    I have heard people say that when THEY are ready, they will potty train – it’s not something that should be forced on them, as it can cause angst. I’m SO glad that your Worsie is doing so well! I will be sure to take all your tips when our turn comes.
    A friends’ little girl is pretty much fully potty trained in the wee department, but is still refusing point blank to poo into her potty or the loo – she insists on a nappy for poo’ing.

    June 20, 2012 at 11:51 am
  • Reply Julia

    LOL…I can’t remember when I last heard that song!
    So glad AG is doing so well. It really is the best thing ever when they are potty trained. Child2 LOVES making a wee. He does it unprompted and even knows to lift the seat even though I didn’t even teach him that bit. The poo’s are a problem. He asks for (and throws a frothy for a nappy) and I end up giving in which I know I shouldn’t do. We are STARTING with poo training from scratch in the next week or so. Am psyching myself up so long. And I’ve decided that if it’s too traumatic then I will involve a play therapist. Gosh, it’s kind of embarrassing for me to even tell people that I’m getting a therapist to help me potty train. Maar nou ja. Such is life.

    June 20, 2012 at 11:58 am
    • Reply cat@jugglingact

      AH you know Julia – I ate that humble pe! ANd well, so glad I did

      June 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply Sue Stuart

    LOL we are so there right now!

    June 20, 2012 at 12:24 pm
  • Reply Marina

    Don’t worry, the poo’ing in the potty/toilet will come just as quickly as the pee’ing did. We went through the same thing with Claudio, never wanted to poo in the potty or toilet, and then one day out of the blue he just did and has done so ever since with the odd accident here and there. Good luck!

    June 20, 2012 at 1:17 pm
  • Reply cat@jugglingact

    I do feel myself hugely qualified to answer on this one! Yes I do! For some kids, potty training to pee is nothing. Poo is something else. Apparently it is a hugely emotional thing to poo (kid you not!). Some kids will happily potty train for no 1 and refuse no 2. Thay was us with L. They will hold in and in untill they get huge constipation (yes, I have been there) and almost land in hospital. So here’s what we did – give him a regular very small dose of a natural laxative every day and lots of dried fruit – I also made bran rusks (which he loves) and bran muffins. And then we worked on how getting rid of things is good – of course, I am the woman who employed a play therapist to help with the “mind” thing but at last we did it. At almost 4 ! So maybe, wait a bit. Or else, start talking about how trees shed their leaves, and if you dont, there are no space for new ones etc. (Kid you not – this works)

    June 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply Daryl Faure

    Yes, somehow getting them to poo on the potty is much harder than weeing. But don’t fret, with time and patience (or bribery) it will come right I promise. I bought Dylan a bag of mixed chocolates, which Iet him choose, and I told him every time he made a poo on the potty he could get one. Took a while but eventually it also just twigged, and then we had no issues. At first he would pooh on the potty, not on the big toilet, but eventually when the potty became old hat, he did the transition to the toilet without too much hassle.

    June 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm
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