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Life Lately – Feeling A Little Hopeless & Melancholy

I’m in a very weird head space. Like really weird. Like last night I actually seriously contemplated shutting down my blog and social media profiles. I was feeling overwhelmed with all that I’ve taken on wondering what was the point of it all. But then I had an idea for a backdrop I want to use for an image that will come up on my blog next week and I realised, I’m not ready to quit, I love this little creative space, maybe the answer is that I need to put less pressure on myself to churn out content. 

I have a lot on my plate, don’t we all…..

I know, without a doubt, I have the disease of busyness. Gah, the scourge of modern society right? This constant scramble to get ahead, to keep my head above water. I’m really struggling to find balance. Actually scrap that, it’s reached the point where I don’t even want to find balance anymore, I just want it all to go away. I want sit on my arse with a cup of coffee and a book and just be left alone. Of course, I know if that were to actually happen I’d get anxious from the idleness of it and look for something to do.

Transition & Change

I think some of it has to do with the weird space I’m in work wise. Leaving my job after more than 12 years and moving on has not been an easy decision. An exciting one for sure, but I’m sort of in a transition phase at the moment work wise and it’s weird. Plans are being made for the remainder of the year that I won’t need to execute and I feel a bit like I’m in limbo. I think this has definitely contributed towards me feeling antsy and anxious. I have two weeks left and I’m kind of drifting…..

Passion Project

The work I do for Love-A-Bull takes it’s toll too. It’s hard guys. It’s really hard. Even though I’m not directly involved with the rescues, I run their Twitter, Instagram and Website for them and curate their sponsorship program. I’m also an admin on their Face Book pages and if you saw half the stuff on the back end….. I have lost faith in our humanity. Honestly. Puppies sold at 5 weeks old to wear chains and be guard dogs, dogs beaten, dogs abused, dogs spending their lives on a chain with no access to shelter or water. I wish I could save them all. I wish I could bring them all to my home. But I can’t and we can’t save them all. I just have to keep reminding myself that the tiny contribution I do make does make a difference.

There are incredible stories too. Just two weeks ago, Gucci, who has been at Love-A-Bull for TWO YEARS waiting for her forever family got adopted and I literally cried when I heard the news. So while we’re not making a difference to all dogs, we are making a difference to some dogs and I like to claim a tiny portion of that.

I had a long chat with Love-A-Bull’s founder last night. Judy, she’s an amazing woman, an absolute powerhouse, she is the absolute soul behind this rescue, a warrior for the breed and while I was in tears and feeling hopeless and like we are fighting a losing battle, she reminded me of this quote:

And I guess that’s why I do it. Why any of us do it. Because I am haunted by it. Because it breaks my heart and makes me question our humanity, but for the dogs we do save, for the dogs we do rehome, we are changing their world. 

We’re having an event on Saturday evening for Love-A-Bull, if you’re in Jozi, I’d love it if you’d join us!
Anyway, that’s it. I’m tired. I’m sad. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m going to yell instructions at my kids in the shower and then sit down with a glass of wine and my book.


 

So till next time…..

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12 Comments

  • Terri Buhr
    Reply Terri Buhr

    You are amazing …. Never forget that x I love your honesty. Hang in there xxx

    July 28, 2017 at 7:50 am
  • Doné Else
    Reply Doné Else

    That is why we love you. You tell us how you feel. You don’t sugar coat stuff. Hang in there. You’re awesome and we love you and support you all the way

    July 28, 2017 at 8:20 am
  • Reply Beauty Candy Loves

    I hope things get better for you! The Love A Bull project is a wonderful idea.

    July 28, 2017 at 11:52 am
  • Reply Julie B

    Keep on keeping on. I salute you so much on your doggie cause – seeing/hearing the stuff that goes on would break me. Looking forward to your new start and all that’ll come from that – I envy your boldness for sure. Breathe lots and know you’re not alone 🙂

    July 28, 2017 at 12:13 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      There is a fine line between boldness & stupidity…. I’m scared and excited and every other emotion mixed in.

      July 28, 2017 at 12:16 pm
  • Reply Melissa Javan (@melissa_nel)

    I love your heart Sharon – I hope you don’t close this blog. Strongs and you’re a beautiful mother and person.
    xoxo

    July 28, 2017 at 12:35 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      Thank you Melissa!

      July 28, 2017 at 1:04 pm
  • Reply moonstormer

    SO much love!! you are doing amazing things, it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed. I hope you enjoyed the glass of wine, and cut yourself some slack. You are a huge inspiration to so many people, even when you need a break. <3

    July 28, 2017 at 3:19 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      Thanks Zoe! Appreciate the encouraging words.

      July 28, 2017 at 3:44 pm
      • Reply Diana Studer

        We have just adopted a cat from TEARS and we have called her Zoe.
        Zoe means life – each one … makes a difference.
        And it was good to see the cats are loved and cared for while they wait, altho TEARS is battling to survive.

        July 28, 2017 at 11:07 pm
  • Tanya Langley Knollys
    Reply Tanya Langley Knollys

    You are a constant inspiration to me xx

    July 29, 2017 at 1:16 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Thank you Tanya!

      July 29, 2017 at 11:04 am

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