Love… Patience… Angel…#thenannydiaries

Our new nanny starts today. I had to let Patience go last week. It was hard, I don’t like messing with people’s lives and livelihood, but we simply couldn’t go on as we were. Ava has never taken to Patience and I couldn’t bare to come home once more and hear her telling me how she’d been crying for me. There were a couple of incidents that left me feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. I know Ava is capable of embellishing the truth but the things she was telling me were just making me more and more uncomfortable. A couple of weeks ago, she told me Patience had smacked her, she’s also repeatedly told me that Patience doesn’t like her because she never talks to her or plays with her and when she does talk to her she’s always shouting.

The final straw came when on Thursday evening, Ava had told me that she’d been playing outside (alone?!) unsupervised and when she’d tried to come back in, the door had been closed and locked. She told me how she stood outside crying and crying because she couldn’t get back in. That was it, I knew I could no longer ignore the gnawing in my gut that this situation was not going to work out.

All I can say is thank goodness for the power of social media, I put out a call for help and got so many responses and great referrals. On Saturday morning we interviewed two possible candidates and found an absolute gem!

Angelica, or Eva as she prefers to be known started with us today. She is a trained & qualified nurse who now works as a carer/child minder. When I met her, it felt like I was meeting one of Loveness’s sisters. They look similar, tall and slim, they dress the same, very very smart, and the second she spotted my girls, she got down on the floor and started playing with them and talking to them. She has great work experience and she just feels like the perfect fit. She has a very nurturing way about her and Ava took to her immediately.

I hated letting Patience go, I felt really guilty and of course, I’ve still been holding out a hope that Loveness could/would return to us. Before offering Eva the job on Saturday, I phoned Loveness to see how she was doing and was shocked by what I heard. I’d spoken to her last Monday, when she’d told me she’d been readmitted to hospital, I could hear she did not sound well at all, confused and like she was battling to talk and concentrate. But when I called again on Saturday, I was shocked to be informed by her mother that Loveness could not take my call. What I can deduce, from the language barrier, is that Loveness is in a coma. She is no longer responsive at all, she can’t walk or talk and has also stopped opening her eyes. I feel frantic and helpless and so badly want to do something to help. I can’t bare the thought of her lying helpless, afraid and in pain in a hospital bed. I can’t bare the thought of how she must be suffering. I am terrified that we are losing her and have been in floods of tears again since Saturday. She’s family, I don’t want to try to cope without her, Ava misses her so much and I can’t bare the situation the way it is.

Loveness

Walter, Anita (Loveness’s daughter) and I at Ava’s 1st birthday part.

Loveness once told me a few years ago, when one of her previous employers had tried to poach her back from us, that she would never ever leave us, that we had been good to her and that she loved Ava like her own daughter. I got so comfortable with the fact that she was apart of us and would always be with us that its a shock I’m struggling to come to terms with, that she’s no longer here. We are similar in age and I just saw us getting old together, of raising my girls together. I don’t want to do this without her. I have so many regrets in hindsight. I wish I’d told her more often what she means to us and the difference she makes to our family, I wish I appreciated her more and having gone through the experience with Patience, I wish I’d acknowledged more often back then what an absolute gem she was/is.

Loveness & Ava

Loveness & Ava

This has been such a lesson for me. Losing Loveness has been one of the most painful things I’ve been through in the last few years. I am devastated by her loss but I feel so damn lucky to have had her, to call her family. She was/is so much more than a nanny.

First came Loveness and she was so full of love, now we have Angelica and I am hoping that she will be the angel we need.

Please please, if you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for our Loveness.

October 21, 2013
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14 Comments

  • Reply gen

    oh my goodness, this is so devastating ! Im so sorry Sharon,
    We will pray for Loveness

    October 21, 2013 at 8:53 am
  • Reply Pandora

    Will pray for Loveness, and hope Angelica is the angel you need now.

    October 21, 2013 at 9:20 am
  • Reply Taryn

    I’m in tears Sharon. I am so sorry. I am praying for Loveness to get better, how difficult for you to have to hear how she is getting worse by the day and feel so unable to help. And I am praying that Angelica is the one for your family. There is nothing worse than worrying about the well being of your children while you are at work. May it all work out perfectly. Thinking of all of you xxx

    October 21, 2013 at 9:58 am
  • Reply Sian

    Oh my word. I really hope that she recovers. I also hope that Angelica works out. Nanny problems are just aweful…… I know!!

    October 21, 2013 at 10:21 am
  • Reply Deshree

    Loveness is in our prayers. Wish you all the best witht the new nanny and many happy years together. Be strong.

    October 21, 2013 at 10:28 am
  • Reply mellav

    Reading this with goosebumps and tears in my eyes. (((huggs)))

    October 21, 2013 at 10:50 am
  • Reply Coco

    Tell Ava she does not know me but if I ever have the pleasure of meeting Patience, I will kick Patience butt on her behalf!! Locking Ava out….. horrible! Hope that Loveness is not in much pain and that she does recover. Sounds like Eva has big shoes to fill. Hope this is the end of your nanny troubles!

    October 21, 2013 at 11:27 am
  • Reply cat@jugglingact

    Oh Sharon,so very sad for you all. Praying for her and that Angelica will be your angel

    October 21, 2013 at 2:33 pm
  • Reply Harassedmom (@laurakim123)

    I really hope it works out this time! Sorry that Ava had to experience that 🙁 being locked out must have left her feeling so scared 🙁

    And poor Loveness!!!

    October 21, 2013 at 3:22 pm
  • Reply marina1605

    Having almost lost Pamela last year, I get it. I am so grateful that she pulled through her illness and is happy and healthy and back in our home looking after my two boys again. I am praying for Loveness’ recovery. And I hope that Angelica works out better than Patience did.x

    October 21, 2013 at 3:35 pm
  • Reply Olwethu

    OMG! I somehow managed to read this blog Lord knows I battled as my eyes were teary and had a lump in my throat.I pray that the good Lord would give you peace,perfect peace that supasses all understanding.This too shall pass. I know that God is with Loveness and her family back home in this difficult time. Keep your head high.I believe in the power of prayer.Thank you for sharing and somehow making us apart of your beautiful family.

    October 22, 2013 at 10:05 am
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