Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage – Frank Sinatra
Then come the babies and then…………
Well, lots of bloody hard work!
And with the stresses and strains of modern living, sometimes if feel like we’re just ships passing in the night.
Do you ever feel like that with your significant other? Like you’re living passed each other? Between our jobs and our children and our hobbies, we really have to fight to eek out a tiny slice of time for each other.
And I know, I know, I’ve read all the tips the internet has to offer, about date nights and making time. But the reality is that it’s not that easy and it’s not always possible. And we don’t have a support structure we can count on, our families both live far away, there is no granny or grandpa, auntie or uncle who can take our kids for a couple of hours and give us some desperately needed alone time.
Our home runs on a strict routine. We both get up at 5am. He leaves for gym, I pack everyone’s bags and prepare the breakfasts. He gets back at 6am and feeds our children, I go running. By 7am he’s out the door with our eldest just as I’m arriving back. Then I need to dive through the shower and be out the door by 07h30 with our youngest.
Then it’s school run and work and work and fight the traffic and get home and pack lunches and prepare suppers. We have a little bit of time together as a family between 6pm and 7:30pm before its bath and bed time for the girls. But that’s quality time for our children and not us. It’s impossible to hold an adult conversation during the time. between the interruptions of the littlies demanding our attention and yelling every 5 minutes for someone to eat their supper, take their finger out the dogs bum, stop fighting, put the chair down….. there’s just no time for meaningful conversation.
Once the girls are bathed and in bed, the kitchen gets tidied and that is the first minute I’ve had alone since leaving the office, so that’s my quality book and coffee time. By 9pm, we both fall into bed exhausted and then we rinse and repeat the next day.
And we go like this for long stretches of time and the disconnect between us grows and grows and then finally an opportunity will arise that will allow us to reconnect again. I know, as our girls grow up and demand and need less and less from us, it will get easier, but damn it, I miss my husband.
And with this frantic schedule, honestly, sometimes it just feels like we’re living passed each other and I miss my husband, I miss my friend. That’s why I’m soooo looking forward to next weekend.
Next weekend is my husbands year end function. His company is famous for the extravagant and fantastic year end functions. This year, they’re taking us to Sun City for two days. We’ll be staying, child free, at The Palace and get to spend two whole days having a blast and reconnecting with each other.
I can’t wait!