Ava, this is for you, but for you too Hannah. Here’s the thing. You’ve experienced what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a mean girl’s venom. I know it hurts baby. I know, because you told me. You told me how, while that mean girl didn’t hurt you physically, she did hurt your feelings. And I know what that’s like. To have your feelings hurt, most often, that hurts more and for longer than being physically hurt.
I wish I could tell you, my love, that that won’t happen again. But you will meet mean girls during the journey of your life. I hope, not a lot of them, but even when you’re a grown up, you’ll cross paths with mean girls. Because mean girl mentality rarely grows up.
There are a few things I want you to remember about dealing with mean girls.
Firstly, they’re often mean because they’re insecure. Something has made them feel bad about themselves and so in turn, they try to make other people feel bad too. Secure people don’t feel the need to bring others down, instead my love, always strive to lift others up. And if you can’t do that, remember, sometimes it’s better to say nothing when you have nothing nice to say, than be a mean girl. NOBODY likes a mean girl. She may be popular and seem like she has a lot of friends, but like I said, nobody likes a mean girl. And when someone is perpetually mean, you have to wonder about the quality of her friends and about how true those friendships really are. Mean girls often pick on the very people who reflect their own insecurities back at them, you may have something she wants, or recognizes something in you she wishes she was. Mean girls pick on others because they’re insecure, or jealous.
Secondly, ALWAYS stand up for yourself. Never allow someone to demean you. You are worth more than that. You do not need to take or tolerate the behavior of a mean girl. It is not an excuse to be mean back. But it is always acceptable to defend yourself. Remember what we practiced? You tell her, that mean girl, that while you may still be in Grade R it’s because you’re young, but you’ll grow up and she’ll still be JUST a mean girl! Mean girls are often just cowards in disguise. Don’t ever let her do that to you again. I can’t imagine what the last 8 months must have been like for you, but I promise you this, that cowardly mean girl, she’ll leave you alone as soon as she realizes you ain’t gonna take no crap from nobody, especially not a coward like her.
And lastly my love, I hope you NEVER turn into a mean girl. Don’t be mean. Ever. Don’t be a mean girl, nobody ever likes them. They may pretend to, often out of a fear of having that mean venom turned on them but a friendship based on fear or a desire to fit in isn’t a real friendship after all.
Keep shining your beautiful light, my sweet girl. You are smart, kind, sweet, gentle, beautiful and everything that is good. Don’t EVER let a mean girl take that away from you. Don’t ever lower your head in shame while a mean girl spits her ugly venom at you. Be proud of who you are, carry yourself with dignity and shine your light on that mean girl.
I love you more,