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My Girls…. You Will Meet Mean Girls Along The Way

Ava, this is for you, but for you too Hannah. Here’s the thing. You’ve experienced what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a mean girl’s venom. I know it hurts baby. I know, because you told me. You told me how, while that mean girl didn’t hurt you physically, she did hurt your feelings. And I know what that’s like. To have your feelings hurt, most often, that hurts more and for longer than being physically hurt.

I wish I could tell you, my love, that that won’t happen again. But you will meet mean girls during the journey of your life. I hope, not a lot of them, but even when you’re a grown up, you’ll cross paths with mean girls. Because mean girl mentality rarely grows up. 

There are a few things I want you to remember about dealing with mean girls.

Firstly, they’re often mean because they’re insecure. Something has made them feel bad about themselves and so in turn, they try to make other people feel bad too. Secure people don’t feel the need to bring others down, instead my love, always strive to lift others up. And if you can’t do that, remember, sometimes it’s better to say nothing when you have nothing nice to say, than be a mean girl. NOBODY likes a mean girl. She may be popular and seem like she has a lot of friends, but like I said, nobody likes a mean girl. And when someone is perpetually mean, you have to wonder about the quality of her friends and about how true those friendships really are. Mean girls often pick on the very people who reflect their own insecurities back at them, you may have something she wants, or recognizes something in you she wishes she was. Mean girls pick on others because they’re insecure, or jealous. 

Secondly, ALWAYS stand up for yourself. Never allow someone to demean you. You are worth more than that. You do not need to take or tolerate the behavior of a mean girl. It is not an excuse to be mean back. But it is always acceptable to defend yourself. Remember what we practiced? You tell her, that mean girl, that while you may still be in Grade R it’s because you’re young, but you’ll grow up and she’ll still be JUST a mean girl! Mean girls are often just cowards in disguise. Don’t ever let her do that to you again. I can’t imagine what the last 8 months must have been like for you, but I promise you this, that cowardly mean girl, she’ll leave you alone as soon as she realizes you ain’t gonna take no crap from nobody, especially not a coward like her. 

And lastly my love, I hope you NEVER turn into a mean girl. Don’t be mean. Ever. Don’t be a mean girl, nobody ever likes them. They may pretend to, often out of a fear of having that mean venom turned on them but a friendship based on fear or a desire to fit in isn’t a real friendship after all. 

Keep shining your beautiful light, my sweet girl. You are smart, kind, sweet, gentle, beautiful and everything that is good. Don’t EVER let a mean girl take that away from you. Don’t ever lower your head in shame while a mean girl spits her ugly venom at you. Be proud of who you are, carry yourself with dignity and shine your light on that mean girl. 

I love you more,

Mom.

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39 Comments

  • Reply catjuggles

    Love this Sharon! I wish we could wipe the mean girl culture but I guess it has always been there and will always be because there will always be insecure girls.

    August 17, 2016 at 8:58 am
    • Reply Sharon

      I am just astounded that mean girl mentality can start so young and that it has been carrying on for so long hurts me. Ava was actually afraid to tell us who the girl is. If Walter hadn’t of witnessed it, it would still be going on.

      August 17, 2016 at 9:04 am
  • Reply Caroline

    Surely the parents know about their child’s behaviour… And the teachers? My heart breaks for Ava, she is so strong!!!

    August 17, 2016 at 10:32 am
    • Reply Sharon

      They do now. The school notified them yesterday after I brought it to the schools attention. They’ve also given Ava a talking to about not keeping quiet about these things and telling her teacher.

      August 17, 2016 at 10:36 am
  • Reply panjels

    Gosh. I’m so there with you Sharon. My little girl is 3 and I am painfully amazed at the nastiness of some little girls in her class… We just don’t tolerate that in our home (speaking badly to others) and so its foreign to us all. I’m actually meeting her teacher tomorrow about it. Spitting venom is exactly what we are encountering… literally and verbally and physically. How & where do little people learn this??? We can’t control what life throws but we can control how our hearts respond and I’m really hoping that as I equip my girl to see through to the heart of the issues in others, that it will give her the insight and wisdom to handle it with courage and for those words to hold no weight!
    My heart!

    August 17, 2016 at 11:53 am
  • Reply Karin

    Wonderful! As a mom to a bullied daughter, I second every word of this. Thanks for sharing!

    August 17, 2016 at 3:32 pm
  • Reply Phillipa

    Yes. Tell your daughter to be brave and walk away, we don’t need those types in our lives, only be with the people who make you feel good and visa versa. Love a person who at 43 was reminded just a while ago that mean girls turn into mean women

    August 17, 2016 at 7:57 pm
  • Reply Heather

    Excellent post Sharon. I seem to be going through a better patch in my life these days. Less mean girls and more supportive ones. School sucks hey. But kids can be young and immature as well.

    August 17, 2016 at 9:53 pm
  • Reply Louisa

    Ugh! Mean girls blow. We had a run in yesterday. They told Nicola that her painting was ugly and it broke her heart. So I showed her pics of the works of Picasso, Monet, Van Gogh and Da Vinci. I said they are all world famous…do you think they would have liked each other’s work? As long as you paint your picture with love and passion it’s beautiful! Don’t let other people get you down because they don’t understand it. Got a smile on her face at least…and then she wanted to see pics of dinosaurs, so I guess we’ve moved on. 😉

    August 18, 2016 at 5:31 am
  • Reply Stephanie

    Kids can be so nasty sometimes but love ur response to it for ur girls xxxx

    August 18, 2016 at 8:25 pm
  • Reply Theliza

    I wish my mom told me something like this when I was bullied at school. I was alaways the soft spoken one and never had the courage to stand up for myself because of the fear the girls left in me. For over six years I was bullied and called and named the worst things at school and made out to be the slutty girl, where in essence they were reflecting their bad self esteem onto me. You get my best mom award for writing this Sharon!

    August 19, 2016 at 12:38 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      Thanks Theliza! I’ve been checking in with Ava daily since we discovered this & coaching her on how to respond. I hope I’m getting through to her!

      August 19, 2016 at 12:40 pm

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