I’m a late bloomer!
I changed career’s in my late 20’s after working in one field of expertise for almost 10 years. I got married at 30 and became a Mom for the first time at the not-so-young-age of 37. I got my first tattoo at age 38 and have been planning a second one for sometime now. I had my first semi permanent pink hair streak at the age of 40. I desire to do and have the courage to do a lot of the things I would never have done in my 20’s & early 30’s.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I’m heading for a midlife crisis. Friends and family have even commented on how they’ve noted a change in me over the last few months.
My Mom commented over the weekend that she’d noted a certain wildness to me and that it was even evident in the way I’ve been writing my blog so I really did start to wonder… am I standing on the ledge, about to fall into the precipice of a midlife crisis?
Apparently not, not according to Google search results anyway…
Of all the sites I’ve browsed, I found this list to be the most comprehensive:
- Looking into the mirror and you no longer recognize yourself.
- Desiring to quit a good job.
- Unexplained bouts of depression when doing tasks that used to make you happy.
- Changing or investigating new religions, churches or new age philosophy.
- Change of habits. Activities which used to bring pleasure now are boring. Unable to complete or concentrate on tasks which used to be easy.
- It feels good to get hurt.
- Wanting to run away from everything.
- A desire to get into physical shape.
- Irritability or unexpected anger.
- Change in allergies.
- Desire for physical -Free Flowing- movement (Running, Biking, Dance, Fast red sports cars, Sky diving, etc).
- Exploring new musical tastes.
- Sudden desire to learn how to play an instrument.
- Sudden interest in drawing, painting, writing books or poetry.
- Shifting sleep patterns (Typically to less).
- Thinking about death, wondering about the nature of death.
- Changes to the balance of vitamins you take. Or taking dietary supplements for the purposes of extending life.
- Extreme changes to what you eat.
- Excessively buying new clothes and taking more time to look good.
- Hair changes. (Natural changes in thickness, luster, color or Assisted changes in dying hair suddenly or shaving your head bald)
- A desire to surround yourself with different settings.
- Hanging out with a different generation as their energy and ideas stimulate you.
- Restarting things, which you dropped 20 years earlier.
- Upset at where society is going. Experience a desire to change the world for the better.
- Feeling trapped or tied down by fiscal responsibilities.
- Leaving (Mentally or Physically) family or feeling trapped in current family relationships.
- A desire to teach others or become a healer.
- Desiring a simple life.
- Excessively looking back to one’s childhood.
- Playing again just to play!
- Keep re-asking yourself: “Where am I going with my life?”
- Getting fixated on new “wonder” solutions to problems.
- Recently experiencing something extremely stressful. Stress can trigger a Midlife transformation. Some examples include: Changing Jobs, Divorce, Death of someone close, Chemical/Toxic exposure upon the body or experiencing a major illness.
- Doing things that get you into trouble when it surprises everyone as being out of character.
- Someone unexpectedly exclaims: “You are going through a midlife crisis!”
None of the above ring true for me, there are hints of truth here and there, but nothing concrete.
Then Walter, who probably knows me better than I know myself at times, said something that I found interesting! He also feels there’s been a change in me over the past year, but his take on it is that I’ve always had a wilder side but that I’ve kept it well hidden and only shown glimpses of it to people from time to time. But that the biggest change he has noticed in me over the past year is how I seem to be embracing who I am and that I seem more confident with myself and with all facets of what makes me me. That I’ve developed and ability to show my soft , sensitive side right the way through to my wild side without worrying about what others think of me, that I’ve come into my own and have accepted all sides of me, no longer trying to conform to an idea of who or what I should be but rather just being who I want to be, no apologies, no excuses.
And I think he may be right….
So dear reader, I invite you to come with me on a journey of self discovery. I think I get what the “naughty forties” are all about now. I think I get what everyone has said about how liberating being 40 can be. The freedom of age and maturity and the confidence to be simply me.