I can’t believe that in a couple of days you will be two! In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that we received the call from our Social Worker about your birth and how your birth parents had chosen us. I remember the achingly long days and weeks that we waited… waited for the 60 days to be over, waited for updates and photo’s of you from your place of safety. Waited, dreamed, hoped and prayed for your safe arrival into our family.
Waited to tell Ava that she was going to be a big sister, not wanting to hurt and disappoint her again after our adoption loss. I remember how excited Ava was. How she insisted on helping daddy paint your room, how every time we went to the shops, she wanted us to buy something for you. We only told her a week before you came home, I remember how much longer that last week felt waiting for you with Ava asked every 5 minutes, if it was time to bring you home yet.
I remember how you struggled post placement. How you hated to be touched, especially on your arms, neck and face. I remember how you cried. I remember how I held you tight and tried to comfort you during your time of grief and settling into your new family, during your confusion over going from your birth mom’s womb, to an unfamiliar hospital, to a place of safety and finally home to us. I remember your struggle. I remember how much it hurt knowing that all I could do was hold and comfort you while you cried. But eventually, with the help of an Occupational Therapist and and almost 6 weeks of hourly Walbinger Brushing, you slowly learned to trust us, to let us touch you, undress you, bathe you, cuddle your and dress you, without screaming and trying to get away from us. It was a hard time baby girl, it was a trying time. I felt helpless. There were moments when your incessant crying hurt so much that my patience was tested to the limit, that my sense of helplessness and frustration at seeing you struggle became too much for me. I struggled. I loved you from the moment I knew of you, but I struggled to bond with you, I struggled to feel like I was your mommy and you were my daughter. We were out of sorts for a very long time.
You’ve come along way baby girl and I want you to know I’m proud of you. You started school a couple of weeks ago and you love it, you especially love getting to spend the morning with your bestie, Rachie. From the minute you arrive at school, you run ahead to find Rachie, you two fling your arms around each other for a cuddle and then off you go, never even looking back or saying goodbye to me, because school is your time to hang with your friends.
You have gotten so bloody cute. You give the best belly laughs that warm my heart because for a long time I thought we might never hear you laugh. You love and idolize your big sister and want to be with her and do everything she does ALL the time.
You whine… a lot and there are days I think I can’t take it a minute more, but then you’ll look up at me, point at something with your pudgy hand and say: “Mamma…. DAT?” Your favorite game.
In hindsight I realize, you have been an amazing baby girl, after you settled, you became the text book baby. You sleep well, you eat well, you’re super smart, you’re very friendly and very loving. You’re cute! You’re funny!
We love you baby girl! Happy birthday for Sunday precious Angelpie, I hope you have tons of fun at your super special cupcake party on Sunday.
Lots of Love
Mom & Dad