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Not a baby mama anymore – can I get a HELL YEAH!

You guys, I’m not a baby mama anymore. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier! I thought I’d have some sadness, but nope, none what so ever!

This past weekend, we packed up Hannah’s cot and moved her into her big girl bed and she made the transition like a champion. She was BEYOND excited to get out of her cot and into a big girl bed like her sister and we’ve not had one tiny little hiccup from the transition. She is an amazingly well behaved child, to the point where sometimes I worry that she will never buck the trend or stand up for herself. She does what she is told, no questions asked and while this is great to deal with as her parent, I do worry about when she’s older and dealing with peer pressure or situations where she could be taken advantage of.

We put her in her big girl bed, and unlike Ava, she did not make a peep, did not try to sneak out her bed or wander around the house and does not climb out of her bed in the mornings, but will lie there and call us to come and get her. When we moved Ava, it was a nightmare and as a last resort, Walter and I fitted a long hook to Ava’s door so we could hook it ¬†partially open without her being able to come out or wander around the house because we were DESPERATE. She drove us nuts, for months on end, she’d literally wander around the house at various times of the night and getting her to sleep was a nightmare that saw us wearing a pathway in the carpet down the passage to her room with the amount of times we had to walk her back to bed.

But my Hannah Banana is growing up and turning into a beautiful little girl!

Hannah Banana Not A Baby Anymore

She’s also incredibly cute and I find my heart melting everyday over her. Which is a huge relief for me, if you’ve been following my blog since her placement, you’ll know, she really struggled with post placement stress and as a result had some major sensory issues and bonding with her was extremely difficult for me. I’ve carried a huge amount of guilt about my ambiguous feelings towards her over the past few years but it’s like in the past couple of months, our relationship has been reborn and it’s been a pleasure and hugely rewarding to feel the depth and breadth of my love for her grow on a daily basis.

She’s still loving school but unfortunately, like any child in the first year of school, she’s also permanently sick! We were back at the Dr yesterday because she has bronchitis for the second time in 3 weeks and because my life is never boring and I can’t even make this shit up, she has a ruptured belly button from an abdominal infection. It was pretty funny watching her interact with our GP. Before he had even ushered the last people our of his office, she rushed the door and started yelling:

Ungar Ungar (uncle)

Whore! Whore! (Sore)

With her shirt lifted up and pointing at her yellow pussed, bleeding, gaping holed belly button!

I wasn’t sure if the family currently in with the Dr wanted to vomit and faint or burst out laughing.

This past weekend, we totally de-babied our house. Safety gates – gone! High chair – gone! Cots – gone! Baby toys – gone! And to be honest, I feel a great sense of relief. I’m 43 next month and we’ve been in some form of baby stage for the past 5 years straight and I’m pretty tired of it now.

I’m loving Ava’s age, she’s fiercely independent and dressing herself, making her own bed etc and Hannah is following closely in her footsteps. I’m excited for the next phase of parenting, parenting children, not babies, not toddlers but actual children.

There is still not a single day that doesn’t pass when I’m not gobsmacked by the miraculous honor of being so utterly barren and yet having the privilege of parenting not just one, but two children!

Onward we go to the next phase in my barren but abundantly blessed journey!

Hannah Banana Not A Baby Anymore 2





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