On Mothers Day

A comment about mother’s day on a  support forum caught my eye this week and got me thinking:

Exuse how blunt this sounds.I mean come on these ladies celebrating mothers day do go through allot of challenges being moms.And we go through just as much tts sometimes i think much more than what they go through.But does anyone recognise that!!

I started thinking about how easily we pass judgement on people’s lives, just as outsiders looking in. We getting a fleeting glimpse into somebody’s life and think we know what they’re going through or that what we’ve been through or are going through is far worse. I wondered if this woman or any other woman for that matter, were to pass me in a shopping mall, see me pushing my pram, my baby sleeping in it or if she sat next to me in church,  would she automatically make the assumption that while I face challenges as a new mother, that her challenges are far greater because she’s infertile. I wondered if she’d stop to think about what it took for me to get to the place called motherhood. If she’d think her challenges were greater if she knew that I’d had 2 surgeries, a million needle pricks, 3 IUI’s, 5 IVF’s, multiple chemical pregnancies and 7 miscarriages over a period of 7 years.

Mothers come in all forms, all shapes, all sizes and all types. From those who have the spirit and heart of a mother but empty aching arms, to those who’ve suffered through the horror of stillbirth and infant death, to those who’ve battled through years of infertility to finally be blessed with a living breathing child.

So to all the mothers and mom’s to be out there, I’d like to acknowledge you and your sacrifice (whatever that maybe) this mothers day.

It will be a bitter-sweet day for me, my first mothers day as the mother of a living breathing baby, but I will also remember those babies lost, the lives that could not be.

But most of all, I will be thinking of our birth mother, of her sacrifice, of her ultimate gift of love.

I wonder if you passed her in the super market, in a restaurant, in that fleeting moment when you looking her eyes and get a glimpse of her, how will you judge her, childless and carefree? Or a mother who demonstrated the ultimate in selfless love for her child?

And to all my friends celebrating their first mothers day…. I hope you have a lovely day and get spoiled rotten and get the acknowledgement you deserve for how you laboured for your child. God knows, my child may not have been birthed by me, but I laboured long and hard for her!

9 Comments

  • thebinges

    May 8, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Happy mothers day Shaz. Your 1st as a Mommy to a beautiful little girl.

    I tried to reply to the Circle of Mom’s but Telkom was playing funnies with me.

    Shaz, re your post below. Please send me an email, I think I may have a “solution” for you.

    XXX

    Reply
  • suestuart

    May 8, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    For a few years I didn’t go to church on Mothers Day as it was just too hard. However, working there and becoming more outspoken after reading Hannah’s Hope by Jennifer Saake, one year they acknowledged all women, not just Mothers. Until I’d read the book, I didn’t think what a difficult day it can be for non IFs too – those who recently lost a mother or child, singles who would love to be married, those whose children are not involved in their lives any more, and so many other things. As you’ve said, it made me realise that we shouldn’t make assumptions or judgements about others, we have no idea what battles they may be facing. I hope that your BM has a loving family to support her tomorrow. I’m sure, though, that she knows that she has done her absolute best for Ava.

    Reply
  • Jaded

    May 9, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    I am so happy to get to be among the many that wish you a happy mother’s day. You said it – you labored just as hard for her. Enjoy your sweet prize today and indulge. The babies lost can never be forgotten; and yet life allows you to be happy again.

    Reply

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