On Friday, it’s been a month since I started my new job and so much has changed. I feel like a brand new person. I feel like I have an all new lease on life. I’ve had one startling realization since making the change, fear held me back. And in the process, it nearly smothered me.
Change is uncomfortable but often so necessary.
How did I forget that one important fact?
It’s easy really. I got too comfortable and the more comfortable I got, the more I feared making the change. The more fearful I became of the unknown. And the more fearful I became, the more I held myself back. Sure, I had my reasons, but in hindsight, I realize it was all just bullshit excuses. It was just fear, complacency and perhaps a little bit of laziness too.
I realize now, I held myself back for far too long.
Every day at my new job, I’m learning new skills, I’m facing new challenges and I can feel myself stretching and growing. I’m forging new relationships and building my skills and it has been exhilarating. It can also be a little intimidating, but I’m embracing it and going on it.
Out with the old….
Leaving my old job, especially after 12 years was so hard and it was a decision, although made quickly, I really agonized over. I was comfortable. I knew my abilities and I knew I could do what was required of me. I love the people I worked with and new I would miss them terribly. But here’s the thing, I was also bored. I was unchallenged. And my stock standard response to: How was your day? Was a very bland …. FINE.
As much as the change terrified me…
And believe me it did. I had sleepless nights over it and the day of my farewell, I literally came home and cried my eyes out. I know without a shadow of a doubt, I made the right choice. I am excited about my days at work. The time passes in a blur and usually I’m shocked to discover that it’s after 3pm and it feels like I’ve only been there a short while. I feel stretched. I feel capable. I feel passionate. I feel motivated. I feel excited.
What I know for sure…
Everything happens exactly as it should and when it should. And I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. But, I do feel I waited too long to make the change. It’s weird, maybe it’s a mini midlife crisis but for the longest time, I couldn’t help thinking… is this it? Is this my life? Get up, go to work, do the job, watch the clock, go home, do homework, cook supper, pack lunches, read a book, go to bed. Rinse. Repeat.
I don’t feel like that anymore!
I’m excited. I have ideas. I have people who listen to my ideas. I am encouraged to explore my ideas. I feel passionate. I feel empowered. I feel valuable. I feel utilised. I feel fulfilled. And it’s an amazing place to be.
Of course, it could all have turned out completely differently, but it didn’t and here I am, marvelling at how it took me so long to find this place.
So I guess my point is…
If opportunity knocks, don’t be afraid to answer.