Parenting – It Can Be A Lot Like Kicking Yourself In The Face

Posted in Parenting by

Sometimes, parenting can feel a whole lot like your kid has you in a choke hold and you’re just going around kicking yourself in the face.

What am I talking about?

Punishment and follow through.

For example, your kid needs to be punished, so you take away their TV/screen time. Who’s really getting punished here? Your kid, who simply follows you around, like a whiny shadow, nagging and wearing you down? Or you? Who doesn’t get a moments peace until either the punishment ends or your resolve crumbles.

Another example, you put your toddler in time out. Who’s really being punished here? Your kid who finds it highly entertaining to see how far they can push you by discovering how many times they can sneak out of time out? (It’s 17 times in 4 minutes, yes I’ve counted, yes I’ve been there) Or you, the idiot who has to keep repeating the same action over and over again (putting said kid back in time out) and hoping/expecting a different result until you’re so frustrated, you’re wondering why you don’t believe in smacking your kids. A good wallop on the ass and this torture would have been over ages ago.

Our morning routines are awful!

Are mornings horrible in your house to? *say yes say yes say yes* Because usually by the time I leave for work in the mornings, I’ve screamed like a fishwife for at least 40 minutes and I’m about ready to hit the bottle and give up on the day. 

Ava is the problem here. My word, this kid. STUBBORN with a capital S! She will do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it and to hell with what anyone else has to say about it. And it DRIVES ME INSANE. Every week morning, I spend an inordinate amount of time, nagging and shouting!

Have you eaten your breakfast?

Finish your breakfast!

Please hurry up!

Go and get dressed?

Why are you standing around in one sock, looking out the window and NOT GETTING DRESSED?

Did you brush your teeth?

I said, GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

Dad is going to leave without you!

I said DAD IS GOING TO LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!

Ad nauseam! 

The best part? She really really really wants to go to school. She just wants to do her morning routine in her own time and in her own way. Well sorry Sweetie, there’s a schedule that has to be adhered to.

Yesterday, it was time for follow through!

I told my husband, it’s enough with the threats now. She is clearly not taking them seriously and now it’s time to follow through. Yesterday morning, it took her an hour of staring into space, playing with the dog and sitting on the couch and she still hadn’t eaten any of her breakfast, the breakfast she’s specifically requested, still in her jammies, with unbrushed hair and teeth! So he left without her.

And then her world came to an end!

He apparently “hurt her heart” and none of us “appreciate her” both statements caused me to inwardly eye roll so very very hard, my head hurt!

But you know who landed up being kicked in the face? 

ME!

Because I landed up then having to get her to school, after dropping Hannah at school, which in turn meant that I was late for work and felt the weight of that on my anxiety the entire drive to work.

So yeah. Follow through is all good and well and necessary. But sometimes…… Sometimes I just don’t know where I find the resolve to stick to the follow through or the punishment.

Do you struggle with this too? With all the pressures and time constraints in our lives and with the little time I do actually get to spend with my children, it’s really just NO fun spending that time punishing them and myself in the process. 

October 20, 2016
Previous Post Next Post

32 Comments

  • Reply Pandora

    I find the quickest way to get my daughter dressed is to tell her she will be leaving in the car at the correct time no matter what she is wearing! So if she has to go to school in her Pjs or half dressed that will be her fault. It’s not happened yet.

    October 20, 2016 at 8:29 am
    • Reply Sharon

      I would not care about this. She would go to school in her PJ’s if we made her, she has no saak with clothes and normal etiquette.

      October 20, 2016 at 8:47 am
      • Reply Pandora

        Mine wouldn’t care either usually but she has to be in uniform for school. And funnily enough she cares about the school rules more than the home ones.

        October 20, 2016 at 11:51 am
  • Reply Pandora

    Oh, and yes, mornings are frustrating!

    October 20, 2016 at 8:30 am
  • Reply CHANTAL

    One thing that has worked for me is a morning playlist, let her pick the songs, then each song has a task that needs to be completed during the song. Maybe?
    Good luck, my Codi-beth is so sore stubborn as well.

    October 20, 2016 at 8:32 am
  • Reply Jodie

    Shame man – this kids things can be rough. I totally hear you. I thought you were going to say that you put her in the car as is, no breakfast, in her pj’s without teeth brushed – that’s what the secretary at school told me to do with Ethan if he carried on fussing in the morning 🙂

    October 20, 2016 at 8:33 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Ava really couldn’t care less. She’d go to school in her board shorts and nothing else if we let her. Threatening to leave her at home has had the best result, for her, so far. Me… not so much.

      October 20, 2016 at 8:47 am
  • Reply Natalie Jorgensen

    omw, YES. Same issues here….there is no rush for my kid in the morning…Please get dressed, please brush you teeth….when it’s time to get in the car he tells me that his dogs will miss him too much and that he has to play with them now…NOW…true..it’s a sweet scene to see him with his dogs BUT timing dude…TIMING! We have introduced the sticker system in the house with blue dots for good behavior and completing all his chores and green/yellow for final warning/you’re in trouble…and red for being naughty/not listening to Mom/being rude to Mom (why is it always Mom???). When he gets 10 blue dots he can choose to: go to spur or get an ice cream or slush puppy etc. The reward chart is on the fridge for everyone to see. The “you are getting a red sticker” threat works well….for now…. Good luck!

    October 20, 2016 at 8:59 am
    • Reply Sharon

      We’ve tried the reward chat. It worked really well initially and then just stopped being effective, or perhaps we just got lazy with it.

      October 20, 2016 at 9:31 am
  • Reply Sula

    Oh yup, you are not alone! Could be taken from our home. Just add “Where is your other shoe?!! I told you to put your shoes in your room when you took them off yesterday, Daddy is going to leave without you”

    October 20, 2016 at 9:23 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Yes, it’s all sounding very familiar!

      October 20, 2016 at 9:30 am
  • Reply Olerato

    I read this post with a big smile on my face and giggles here and there. Not because i’m laughing at you but because i’m so glad i’m not alone. This post is way too close to home and somewhat comforting. My 3 year old takes her time just like Ava but in reverse. She’ll eat her food except she’ll take ages to finish and doesn’t want any help then i’ll tell her, if you don’t finish you’ll have to go to school and leave the food, then i feel bad all the way to school because now i’m wondering if they’ll give her enough food to fill her lil tummy at school. Then it’s brushing her teeth, I swear she starts brushing her teeth from the minute I start putting on my makeup until i’m done (30 mins) and she still screams to say she’s not done yet. I don’t even want to get started on dressing up. Yes, parenting is a lot like kicking yourself in the face.

    October 20, 2016 at 9:53 am
    • Reply Sharon

      It’s always good to know we’re not alone in this parenting struggle!

      October 20, 2016 at 1:03 pm
  • Reply Alfonzowords

    hahah this reminded me so much of my mum screaming at me in the morning and nagging me to get ready for school. great post

    October 20, 2016 at 10:00 am
  • Reply spiritedmama1

    UHM my daily pet peeve…..And somehow my Dude just doesn’t seem to understand that when I get to work I DO NOT want to talk to anyone. I want to have a cup of coffee ALONE. in peace and quiet. I told Dude to trade places with me. Day 1 was fine but by Day 3 he was shouting just like me….And like I always say “Do you think I make this shit up?” This kid can be a monster….but I love him. I do the school run to and fro EVERYDAY. Mommy doesn’t get a day off….Add being 24 weeks pregnant well let’s just say my patience have run out and I become demonic…
    Parenting is hard. But still can’t imagine life without Dudie and still anticipating the resident alien’s arrival…Imagine the fun that awaits. 7yr old and a newborn – Mommy and newborn hits the bottles after morning school run

    October 20, 2016 at 10:03 am
  • Reply sadelee

    Felt like you were describing my life! Kids drive us crazy and then wonder why we lose it. Haha. Thank you for sharing. I so understand the part of punishing ourselves, parenting is not for the faint hearted. But it truly is a magical time.

    October 20, 2016 at 11:09 am
  • Reply Lise

    Oh my GOD. Do we live in the same house???? This is exactly like my mornings. I am hoarse when I get to work. I went without him but he was thrilled because he thought he was getting a day off!! When you figure out the solution, let me know.

    October 20, 2016 at 11:58 am
    • Reply Sharon

      Thank goodness I am not alone in this!

      October 20, 2016 at 1:03 pm
  • Reply paddatjiesema

    Did you write this about our house??? I am so tired of screaming and fighting the whole time. And while both are difficult I have a lot more trouble with my teenager in an 8 year old’s body (Seriously I have no idea what I’m going to do when she is an actual teenager).

    I have to take the youngest to his class and because of that I’ve walked to class with the 8 year old. I’ve threatened a few times that if she takes so long to get ready there won’t be time for that and I’ll just drop her off. Yesterday was follow through time. She was screaming at school making it sound like I’m about to murder her. All the kids and parents stopped to watch what was going on. As I was trying to walk away with her pulling on me she managed to halfway undress me. It was absolutely horrible. And sorry, I don’t have any advise for you.

    Btw, we tried sending them in their pj’s. They loved it and wanted to do it again.

    October 20, 2016 at 2:21 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      That is my concern with Ava. She’s exactly the child that would get a kick out of wearing her PJ’s to school!

      October 20, 2016 at 2:27 pm
  • Reply Adele

    I have started the Positive Parenting Solutions program, which provides you with tools to get kids to do what they must without screaming …… Hold thumbs.

    October 20, 2016 at 2:55 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      Good luck! Let me know how it works out!

      October 20, 2016 at 2:59 pm
  • Reply Sam

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THE MORNINGS! I think my neighbours are so sick and tired of hearing me scream and shout and go on like a banshee to just get in the darn car to get them to school. I have found that letting them watch a bit of TV while I shower and get myself dressed gives me a small measure of a better morning but then it’s always a fight to get K away from the TV cos he wants to finish watching this or that show and then I have to hit banshee mode again. I always used to say I didn’t want to be the “hurry up, get in the car mom” but I am she. Every day.

    October 20, 2016 at 3:39 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      I also swore I’d never be the mom that was always yelling at her kids to hurry up, but alas I am!

      October 20, 2016 at 3:42 pm
      • Reply Sam

        Solidarity bud! Solidarity…

        October 20, 2016 at 3:46 pm
        • Reply Sharon

          And then she cut herself a rather unfortunate looking fringe at school today! Someday’s, I just can’t deal!

          October 20, 2016 at 3:49 pm
          • Sam

            Honestly I so feel your pain… between my own Hurricane and my jack russel who has found a way to get out of the property and is NEVER home being found by everyone else in the neighborhood I am finished! Finished!

            October 20, 2016 at 3:58 pm
  • Reply Cassey Toi

    Am being kicked in the face by parenting so much lately. Ugh. I’m waiting for it to pay off somehow.

    October 20, 2016 at 9:07 pm
  • I LOVE comments, leave yours here:

    You may also like

    %d bloggers like this: