Random Phone Calls & Filling The Silence

Posted in Adoption Option by

We have been on the waiting list to adopt baby no. 2 for 3 and a half months now and to be honest, I haven’t given it too much thought. I would imagine its very different adopting the second time around and we never experienced the waiting the first time around, we were selected almost immediately. I’ve mentioned this before, but there isn’t the same level of desperation as what there was previously. Of course once in a while my mind wonders to what it will be like that moment when (if) I receive that second call, I feel my stomach lurch and my heart rate accelerate in anticipation and excitement. It’s actually a rather comforting place to be. We’re carrying on living our lives and enjoying our precious little girl completley. She is a miracle in every sense of the word and couldn’t be any more precious, even if she tried, so if we are doubly blessed with a second one it would be wonderful, but if its not part of the plan, I can also live with that.

 

Waiting to play pee-ka-boo on Skype with "Ganny"!

Yesterday morning I decided to make a “touch base” phone call to our Social Worker. It was kind of awkward because I wasn’t really sure what to say, I just wanted to keep us foremost in there minds and for some reason just felt like I needed to give them a call.

I did have a quick chat with our one social worker and something interesting did come out of the conversation, something which neither Walter nor I thought to ask when we had our top up assessment way back in March. The matching process the second time around is quite different to couples adopting for the first time.

When adopting the first time around, babies are matched with adopting couples, the second time around babies are matched to the existing child. This was quite interesting. It means that Walter and I are not being matched but rather Ava-Grace is being matched with a suitable sibling. In retrospect, it makes perfect sense.

This means that in all likelihood, we will be blessed with another mixed race baby, which is a thought that actually makes me quite happy. I love the idea of building a family where we are unified by our bond and yet so very unique and different. It makes such perfect sense in terms of transparency and of one child never feeling different/more/less than the other. They will be of similar maternal/paternal back grounds. And should make things far less complicated if/when the day ever comes that they choose to meet their birth parents.

It’s hard not to get excited when thinking of what the future may hold. It’s hard to keep my heart in check and my imagination reigned in. I think that’s one of the most wonderful things about adoption, we could, in effect, be receiving wonderful, life changing, family growing news at any moment.

 

July 12, 2011
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8 Comments

  • Reply sue stuart

    I never thought of that, though knowing that they always put the child first it makes absolute sense :). Hope Ava-Grace gets a sibling soon!

    July 12, 2011 at 6:33 am
  • Reply charne

    Wow that is interesting and wonderful that they match to the children

    July 12, 2011 at 6:45 am
  • Reply Sian

    OK, I never thought of that. Here’s to a short wait and a happy ending.

    July 12, 2011 at 7:36 am
  • Reply tzipieastwest

    It seems like you are in a comfortable place right now and it must be great to be waiting without heartache !!
    Hope things have settled a bit re. hectic workload (you posted about a month or 2 ago) and that the call will come in due time. It makes perfect sense to match siblings …
    Did you apply for a boy or girl or no preference ?
    Looking forward to reading about your growing family !!

    July 12, 2011 at 10:33 am
  • Reply Marcia (123 blog)

    That really does make perfect sense. I can’t wait for her to get her sibling – she’s going to make an awesome big sister.

    PS my mother has also recently got Skype downloaded so she can chat to the kids and see them. Clearly the phone was not doing it for her 🙂

    July 12, 2011 at 11:54 am
  • Reply Pandora

    The other day a conversation I was having brought up a ‘what if’ situation: What if a certain person was pregnant and asked us to adopt her child, would we do it?(this is purely hypothetical, nothing like that is happening). It really got me thinking, would I? And to be honest, I would prefer a second child to be the same race as our daughter, so what you were told makes perfect sense to me.

    July 12, 2011 at 8:49 pm
  • Reply Laura Allmayer

    I never knew that Ava was a mixed race baby – my older 2 are also so we also have a very mixed family 🙂 It amuses me no end how many people say they look JUST like David (he isnt their bio dad).

    It does make sense that the child is matched to the existing child – how special for Ava 🙂

    July 14, 2011 at 12:25 pm
  • Reply yvettene

    I never even thought of that but it makes perfect sense. I hope Ava’s little brother or sister will be joining her soon. I love that pic she is so cute. She probably knows her way around the computer quite well, maybe too well ;-).

    July 14, 2011 at 10:03 pm
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