So yesterday I had my second SCIO/BioFeedback Session and as per last week it was completely fascinating. Pretty much everything that the machine has picked up so far was confirmed for me already via my FS with a bunch of blood tests and so far in terms of my fertility there don’t seem to be any major issues. In fact, there’s only one thing that comes up over and over again and its the one thing that makes an infertile see RED! In fact, initially I felt a bit let down but I’ve spent sometime reflecting on it over the past week and I’m really starting to think that perhaps there is something to the “Just Relax” theory. Now I can feel you all taking aim at me and preparing to fire, so I’m gonna take cover, but I feel I need to say this first. I don’t believe this necessarily applies to everyone, but I do think that perhaps it may apply to me.
For starters, my last pregnancy was achieved with the use of acupuncture assistance only, and I still maintain that it had something to do with relaxing me. Secondly, I’m a naturally high strung tense person. I’m a worrier by nature, I catch myself in the dead of night tossing and turning and thinking. I try to relax during a facial or a massage or even my SCIO sessions, but I catch myself thinking, worrying, wringing my “mental hands” together and thinking thinking thinking. I’ve realized I actually have no clue how to relax. I’ve tried meditation but guess what I land up doing? Yup you got it, I land up thinking! I almost constantly have a knot in my stomach, so much so its become a natural part of how I feel, I don’t know what it feels like not to have it. I wake up in the mornings and my shoulder and chest muscles are so tight from tension that its physically painful for me to relax and straighten my shoulders. My jaw always feels tight because of how I bite down on my teeth and I often catch myself holding my breathe!
In my SCIO session yesterday I was told to breathe, to really focus on my breathing, I also need to start exercising more to increase my oxygen flow because of my very bad habit of holding my breathe. The relaxation test was quite interesting, where most people score in the + range and a score of around +6 is considered extremely poor, my score was………………… -3000!!! Now I know this is true because I also have Hyperprolactanemai (elevated Prolactin levels) and my FS has stated implicitly that its my lifestyle and stress levels causing this and that this condition can result and battling to fall pregnant. My Adrenal function is also elevated according to both SCIO and Blood tests from my FS and again this is an indicator of stress.
So now my question to you all is this? How do I relax? Somebody please tell me how I switch my mind off so that I can relax and calm down a little. I know this must sound sick but I thrive on the temporary boost of energy that Adrenalin gives me, I always thought I thrived under pressure because I love it. I love my hands shaking mind racing as I work through whatever has caused the stress. But clearly, years of living like this are starting to take their toll on me and I need to figure out how I calm down. Any tips or advice would be helpful?
The second part of my blog posting today is kind of a challenge/public service announcement:
This weekend is Voter Registration weekend for our national elections next year. I know so many South Africans don’t bother with registration and don’t vote and this is an issue I feel extremely strongly about. Its our democratic right to vote, people died in our country, millions suffered for the right to vote and yet so many of us take this right fore granted and don’t exercise it. I also believe that if you don’t vote you don’t have a right to criticize of complain about the state of affairs in our country. I know so many people feel that their vote won’t make a difference, but guess what, if everyone of us committed to registering and then voting we could make a difference. I feel like we’re standing at the doors of change in our countries politics and now more than ever, every single vote WILL count, so please my dear friends, I challenge you all to go out and register to vote this weekend, will you take up my challenge?
If you’ve already registered and want to confirm your registration, go to the IEC’s website for more information. Its really easy, I confirmed my registration via SMS.