I joined Run/Walk For Life a couple of months ago, but I won’t lie, I’ve been a total slacker since joining!
With the girls changing schools at the beginning of this year and us now smack bang in the middle of winter, our routines have had to change completely. Where previously, I could enjoy a 5km run between 6 & 7am, that is no longer possible. If I want to continue on with my early morning runs, have to run at 5am and in Jozi, in the middle of winter, that not only means that it’s FREEZING cold, it’s also pitch dark and I’m scared!
But first….. my demise….
About a year or so ago, I struggled to recover from Plantar Fascitis. It took more than 8 months and a long period of rest to recover and be able to exercise without pain. It also destroyed my motivation, my routine, my fitness and my strength.
I’ve been trying to fight my way back ever since and it’s really not been easy. Everything has suffered. I am not nearly as fit as I was, my weight has sky rocketed, I’m not nearly as strong as I used to be and I’ve basically been struggling with my motivation. Because it’s not fun to exercise when every moment is pure torture.
And so I just stopped.
I stopped trying. I stopped caring. And I slid down a slippery slope back to obesity. And I’ve felt like the biggest fraud and the biggest phoney. I still get requests for magazine and print interviews following my banting journey and given where I’m at now, I just can’t do it. I am so angry with myself and so damn ashamed. But I am trying to learn to accept that my weight will be a life long struggle for me.
Sure, I”m no where near the 118kg’s I was 3 years ago, but it’s a slippery slope. And I’m terrified of going back there.
Once a fat girl, always a fat girl.
I’m literally teetering on the brink everyday of coming completely undone and it terrifies the hell out of me. I promised myself I would never go back. And yet here I am, screaming in fear as I ride the roller coaster of my weight control.
So after lots of thought and planning I joined Run/Walk For Life.
But learning to train in the evenings is hard yoh! Especially when I’m as unfit as I currently am. Granted, it’s not unfit like I was 4 years ago, but still now, a 5km run takes me a good 50 minutes with lots of run/walk intervals and I hate every minute of it. And I really hate running after work, I’m much more an early bird. There’s other stuff I’d rather be doing after work, like drinking wine!
So I joined RWFL
And even though I’m a multiple half marathon runner, I’ve decided to go right back to the beginning. I’m running track as a stage 1 runner currently, in the hope that I can rebuild and eventually get back to where I was. Stage 1 running is fun, but really hard on my ego, its basically running or walking as fast as you can, around a track as many times as you can for 20 odd minutes. On Tuesday, I managed a poultry 4 times around the track, or a whopping 1.6km.
I enjoyed it. I didn’t hate every moment. I didn’t feel defeated by it and I feel like, as apposed to the first time around, where I started off just pounding the pavement, I’m actually learning along the way. How to pace myself, how to monitor my heart rate and hopefully in the long run (excuse the pun) how to be a better overall runner.
I’ve set myself a goal, for November, and hopefully along with my other round girl friend, I can achieve it.
I’ve done it before, I CAN do it again!