There is one single question that those of us who ttc for a very long time ponder, wonder about and ask about. It’s also one of the scariest questions to think about and during the most difficult times, it’s the most frightening question to try to answer for oneself, at least, it was for me anyway.
I’ve seen it asked a million times on various support forums. I thought about it a million times during our 7+ year journey to parenthood.
When is it time to stop trying? When is it time to give up on the dream? How long do we keep trying? How long will it take for our dream to be realized. (I’m not referring to treatment exclusively when I speak of trying, I refer to pursuing and exhausting every avenue to parenthood – treatment, surrogacey, donors, adoption)
I found a brilliant answer to this question through my Twitter account. As someone who has made it to the other side, become a mother, is experiencing parenthood, its definitley the answer I’d give now. Obviously, its easy to give this answer now, now that I’ve made it, now that my dream has been realized. But it’s also the answer I gave for years and years when asked if I’d give up, when I’d give up on the dream. Granted, my answer was not so eloquent, but it came down to the same thing.
I started following The Daily Love on Twitter and have begun reading the blog posting and Mastin’s answer to this question that we struggle with is simply brilliant! I loved it! It says exactly what I’ve wanted to say for years, but could not find the words. It’s exactly what I’d answer to my fellow IF’ers now, it’s exactly the answer I’ve given myself for years. The answer also felt as it it gave me permission, in a way, to be stubborn about clining to a much sought after, much desired dream.
The answer is so simple, how long to do you try??? UNTIL!
Go here to read the full piece on this profound and simple answer to the question we have all grappled with.
Obviously, for some of us, the dream will morph into something else along the way, so I’m by no means saying that for those have decided to stop trying that they gave up to soon, didn’t believe in the dream enough, or didn’t want it enough. I’m simply saying that if the drive to have a child is so strong, if the dream is so vivid and the desire so great to experience motherhood, then we try – until!