I came across this article yesterday, don’t even ask me how because I can’t remember where I saw it, but not only did it give me a giggle, but it made me realize I’m not a low maintenance kind of woman or rather, I may just be a little high maintenance in the grooming department!
Would you believe me if I told you I own exactly one sundress and I’ve worn it exactly once since I bought it?
6. You have to be very clear with your hairstylist that you need a cut that’s easy to maintain, because you’re not about that life. Your idea of styling your hair is making sure the part is nice, and if you’re feeling fancy, throwing a clip or headband up there.
Bwahahahahaha! See point one.
Also, my stylist knows that I’m like a chameleon when it comes to my hair, I’ll happily change the colour and style as often as most people change their underwear!
7. You find make up a little terrifying. You understand the basics, and might even throw some on before leaving the apartment, but you once watched a YouTube clip about contouring and contemplated the existence of witchcraft.
Mmm, maybe! I love make up, but tend to stick to the basics. Having said that, you will NEVER see me at the office or at a social gathering without my make up. NEVER! I ONCE wore no make up to work, my reasoning: I was sick and knew I would be coming home early, so kind of a waste of make up day…. only everyone was so sorry for me when they saw me because they thought I was dying and one of my colleagues actually shrieked and jumped away from my desk when he saw my face. NEVER EVER again!
8. Whenever you hear that you have to wear heels to an event, you get considerably less excited.
This would be true. I hate heels. They make my feet hurt and push my already tall frame to over 6 foot. So no!
9. Then you get all dressed up, and get kind of excited! Heels aren’t so bad! Your legs look so much longer! You should wear them more often!
Yes, for about the first 5 minutes, then I go back to hating them.
10. And then about half way through the event, you remember why you hate heels, and wish you could just 127 Hours your feet, and hack them off with a dull pocketknife. It would probably hurt less than wearing these shoes for another three hours.
HELL YES! This! So this!
11. You envy that somehow men can get away with wearing Converse with a suit for certain occasions, because that’s the dream, honestly.
Hey! I rock my Converse with a tailored jacket and bootleg jeans! But then I’m 43, what the hell would I know about style and fashion?
12. When your friends want to go out, your favorite thing to wear is a cool jacket over a t-shirt and your nicest-looking jeans.
Except for the t-shirt part (see point 3) this would be me.
13. Your friends relish the days when you let them dress you up. It’s like Christmas, but with dresses! And heels! And eyeliner!
Except its my friends always asking me to do their hair and make up. Let me state, my friends are pretty much all in their 40’s too, so while they may think I have style… what the hell would I know?
14. Every time you dress up, you get a semi-Cinderella moment from your friends. Wow! You look so different! Who knew you had such a defined waist under all those sweatshirts! You should wear that more often!
Nope, mostly because I’m now realizing I may just be a tiny little bit high maintenance and a giant pain in the arse, for my husband anyway!
15. The back of your closet is where all of your “nice clothes” reside. You pull them out for weddings and funerals, and that’s about it.
After my weight loss journey last year, my closet barely hasn’t got anything in it. I donated all my “fat” clothes and building up a new supply takes time and fundage!
16. When you first got a job/internship that required you to dress “business professional” you cried a little bit because honestly what could you wear.
I haven’t had a job like that in donkey’s years. Thank the Pope! I hope to never work in that kind of environment ever again. Do those kinds of working environments even still exist?
17. Then you figured out that you could rock “business professional” by mixing and matching a handful of items, and you’ve already mastered that technique.
Like I said…. Converse, Bootlegs, tailored jacket, it’s about as professional as I may get!
18. You own contacts, but will often just wear your glasses, because you don’t feel like exerting the effort.
NEVER in a million years. I hate my glasses. Those beauties are for reading in bed at home only! I literally turn my budget inside out every month to ensure I’m well stocked in daily lenses, they’re the best fyi, but I’m too vain to wear my glasses in public, I hate them.
19. Going to the gym at the end of the day is really just an excuse to wear your comfy gym clothes for hours leading up to it.
Snigger. No way!
So after analyzing this, I realized, I’m kind of not really low maintenance at all, I may not be a total pain in the arse, but I am pretty close. I’ll never leave the house for a social engagement or work without my contact lenses, my hair being done in it’s appropriate style for the cycle day, a full make up and careful consideration to what I’ll wear from my limited selection which will always include jeans of varying shades and styles! I take a lot of pride in my appearance, I will never be the trendies, the pretties or the thinnest, but I’ll always be groomed!
Are you low maintenance? Or do you also love all the pretty things?