The Day The Universe Changed

Posted in motherhood by
SV400024

Started out like any other, well almost. I’d woken up early and was sitting in my Dad’s study, about to start writing a blog posting about our meeting with our birth mum that had happened on Saturday evening.  The meeting had been amazing. I LOVE our birth mum, she’ smart, intelligent, funny, loving, strong and very very very brave. Both W and I were feeling a million times better and a million times more confident after meeting her. I’d just dialed into my parents connection when my cell phone rang, it was 05h50 and it was our social worker and this is what she said:

“I told you I know my job! ….. is in labour, contractions are 10 minutes apart. Take your time but get to the hospital as soon as you can.”

I went racing down the passage, flung open the bedroom door and yelled at W to get his ass out of bed. He did what all men with women in labour, he got this wild look in his eyes and started to panic slightly. We eventually arrived as the hospital at at just after 7am. Where we were met by our SW. She informed us that our BM was only 1cm dilated and it was still going to be a while. That we should leave, go have some breakfast and she’d call us to come back when the time came.

Just after 9am she sent me a message to say we should come quickly. We’d been wondering around the mall trying to find the perfect gift for our BM. We’d eventually settled on Memory beads with a bracelet and had carefully selected beads that signified the miracle unfolding in front of us. We also liked the memory beads as it made it possible for us to add goodies to the bracelet with each defining moment in Ava’s life.

Just as we arrived back at the hospital, our SW called me to come into the birth room. I was totally overwhelmed by the pain our brave BM was in. She was in full active labour and there were almost no breaks in between contractions. All I could do was cry each time she was gripped by another painful contraction. This brave woman gave birth without any pain medication. Between the SW and I we took turns in holding her hand as she writhed from the contractions. About 10 minutes in she started shouting she needed to push. The SW quickly went to call some nurses to assist in the delivery. That’s when things got really interesting.They went to call W to witness the birth and he almost past out just standing at the door listening to the screams of our BM. He refused to come in and said he’d rather stand at the door and wait for the babies birth and I”m glad he did.

For starters, there was no dignity in the situation for our wonderful BM and despite her assurances that he could be there, I’m not sure either of them would have been comfortable. Secondly, W is fairly squeamish, he couldn’t even assist me with an IVF injection, so I reckon he would have past out at some point during the birth.

This is where is got interesting and things started to happen really fast. There were two nurses in the room, each one supporting our BM’s legs and feet to help her brace for pushing. The nurses were wonderfully, talking her through each push, explaining when she had to push and when not to push to avoid tearing. After only a couple of pushes, they were calling me to stand at the base of the bed and see the babies head start to emerge. It was amazing to see, all I could see what this tuft of very dark straight hair. Our BM was a trooper and in a matter of minutes the rest of the babies body simply slipped out. I was SO in awe of what I’d witnessed that I didn’t hear the nurses say its a girl. I only realized it was a girl when our BM took my hand and said to me: ” Look Sharon, its your daughter”. I start crying every time I think about that beautiful gesture. I will love this woman forever because of what she’s given us. That was when the nurse handed me a set of clippers and I cut Ava’s cord!

Within seconds Ava had been cleaned off and handed to me to take her outside to show W. I could barely see her I was crying so much. And when W saw her, he too was completely overcome with emotion and the two of us had a good sob. She was then whisked off to the nursery to get weighted etc. She weighted 2.9kg’, was 49cm in length and had a 34cm head circumference. Her Agpar on the second score was 9. The nurses dressed her and brought her back to me and by this time our amazing BM was showered and dressed and sitting with me. W went to buy her some KFC because all she was craving was a coke and some junk food. We had a great chat and spent a little more time getting to know each other.

The past week has gone by in a complete blur. I am still coming to grips with the whole birth and with our whirlwind adoption – from the time of the assessment to the time of Ava’s birth, it was only 4 weeks in total!!! Pretty much unheard of.

SV400024

December 18, 2009
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