The Nanny Diaries – Part Deux

Our new nanny,  has been with us just over a month now and it’s going…. ok. She’s just not Loveness, but in all fairness, Loveness was with us for 8 years, she hasn’t even been with us for 8 weeks. But really, Loveness is irreplaceable and I don’t feel I will every find someone like her ever again.

While the new nanny is excellent at the house work and really good with Hannah, I just don’t feel that she’s as good with Ava. She seems short tempered and almost militant in her communication with her and it’s starting to worry me a little. I also don’t think she’s giving Ava the attention she needs in the afternoons when she’s home from school.

And there was Monday… Monday was the day she got to see me lose my shit!

When I got home, I went to my room to change, where I discovered that Ava had gotten hold of a tub of hand cream and smeared it all over my bed, linen, comforter, TV and stereo. Everything was a mass of goo. To add insult to injury, when I walked past Ava’s room, I discovered the carnage continued there. She’d also taken cream out of her own draws and smeared it all over her window and soft toys in her room. This is a sure sign of two things for me: boredom and not being supervised properly. She’s clearly being left to her own devices and this for me is a problem.

I headed into the kitchen to collect cleaning supplies to start cleaning up the mess and what I saw on my microwave made me literally see red and emit steam from my ears and fire from my flared nostrils. Stuck on my microwave was a dirty, old , used plaster that she (the nanny) had removed from a wound on her hand, complete with crusties, to reapply to her hand before leaving for the day.

Obviously I had a firm discussion with her about how that was unhygienic and not to ever be done again in my house. I also explained to why I was upset over what Ava had done in the bedrooms and that I felt she was not supervising Ava properly.

Now, I obviously am still using the iBaby which comes with sound and it picks up sound from a wide radius, so even if they’re not in Hannah’s room where the iBaby is set up, if I turn the sound on, I can hear a lot of what is going on in the house and I overheard her berating Ava in a way that made me unhappy. She’s not being mean but she just seems to be totally lacking in nurturing when it comes to Ava and it’s really starting to become a concern for me.

Walter also mentioned that he’d overheard her speaking with Ava yesterday morning in a less than kind, loving way. And I guess that’s the biggest difference between her and Loveness. Loveness was, well, full of love and nurturing for both my girls and I really miss that.

The worst part is that its given me trust issues which is a huge concern for me, I need to know that I have someone I can completely trust. In all the years Loveness worked for us, even if I’d kakked her out about something, she never ever took it out on Ava and was always loving and kind talking to “my princess” as she called Ava with nothing but love and nurturing.

I’m not sure what is going to happen, but I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable about the whole situation.

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  • Reply Laura-kim le Roux

    It is so much harder since you HAD a Loveness 🙁 I am sorry you and Ava are going through this. I have no words of wisdom – it is so hard to find a Loveness who is good with both ages because often people are good with babies or toddlers.

    See what happens after the chat? The plaster thing was just GROSS and something she can easily fix!!

    October 9, 2013 at 12:02 pm
  • Reply Lizann Chiccaro

    Hey Sharon
    That is a cause for concern. I have Cindy working for me since my littly was a year old and our old nanny passed away and no matter how much nonsense my little one gets up to( and believe me I have had red nail polish all over my room!!) she has never ever spoken to her in a less than loving manner, even when she is naughty and screaming and kicking! I would say…trust your gut on this one!

    October 9, 2013 at 12:02 pm
  • Reply Pandora

    I didn’t have anyone working for me at the time we adopted, so to employ someone to look after my daughter would have created huge trust issues for me too. Hence she went to creche and now she goes to aftercare. Yes there is the guilt associated with that but she has fun, is well cared for and I have some peace of mind. Whatever way we choose though, there is always a risk because for many people it is a job, it is quite rare to find somone like Loveness. I also mean schools or daycare, as they can also be less than caring sometimes. It is so hard. Hope you find the right solution.

    October 9, 2013 at 12:17 pm
  • Reply paddatjiesema

    I can’t get over the plaster thing. Just the thought makes me nauseous. Think I might’ve just thrown the microwave away. Good thing I didn’t study in a medical direction.

    October 9, 2013 at 12:53 pm
  • Reply Gail Schimmel

    Maybe you need to clarify to her that when the girls are home, she must prioritise them and not house. Have found people struggle to grasp this. That said, my gut is that she’s the wrong fit for your kids. Hope you had a probation period agreed?

    October 9, 2013 at 1:17 pm
    • Reply Sharon

      Yes, we have 3 months probation in place.

      October 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm
  • Reply Sian

    I have been there and it is not pleasant. I hope that things change after the chat. If they do the trust then needs to be rebuilt otherwise it is going to drive you crazy. All I can say is thank goodness for probation!!

    October 9, 2013 at 1:19 pm
  • Reply Tiina

    Go with your gut. Always. If she doesn’t communicate lovingly towards Ava whilst still on probation, she never will.

    October 9, 2013 at 1:38 pm
  • Reply Zah

    That was my exact situation beginning of this year. I got someone who came highly recommended but only to find that she was only good with the little one and so impatient with Talitha. She would sometimes speak/shout at her in a way that made me uncomfortable and I suspected that it might be worse when I’m not there.. One day i decided to go to the Mall for an hour and left my iPad on voice recording. When i got to listen to what was happening in my absence i cried.. It was even worse than i could ever imagine. I couldn’t believe that someone would treat a 3yrd old like that. It was her 2nd month with us and i let her go. So Sharon my point is, if you no longer feel comfortable with her, for Ava’s sake let her go my friend.

    October 9, 2013 at 4:02 pm
  • Reply Dee

    I would trust your gut. From personal experience I gave found some nannies just do better with babies. The fact that Ava was unsupervised for so long would worry me a lot. She could have hurt herself? I’m quite anal about that would be very angry if I came home to find that.

    October 9, 2013 at 4:38 pm
  • Reply Julia

    No idea what I would do but I think that you should trust your gut. Good luck. xxx

    October 9, 2013 at 6:34 pm
  • Reply Mrs FF

    So sorry, this situation must be very stressful. Please trust your guts and if you feel something is amiss I would let her go. It’s cream smeared all over the house but it could have been worse, all I’m thinking is your little girl eating something she shouldn’t and the nanny not knowing something is wrong until you get back (sorry to be doom and gloom but we all know what curious little ones can get up to when left to their own devices)

    October 10, 2013 at 2:44 am
  • Reply Tania

    Trust your gut instinct.

    October 10, 2013 at 10:32 am
  • Reply

    It seems stressful. I mean, you have to trust a person you barely know with your children. Perhaps this is just an adjustment phase for everyone involved and I hope she settles in. As long is she knows what your expectations are I am sure things will be fine. Eventually.

    October 11, 2013 at 5:11 pm
  • Reply Love… Patience… Angel…#thenannydiaries | The Blessed Barrenness

    […] bare to come home once more and hear her telling me how she’d been crying for me. There were a couple of incidents that left me feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. I know Ava is capable of embellishing […]

    October 21, 2013 at 8:49 am
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