Cousin – do you want a whiskey?
Me – no I don’t drink whiskey.
Cousin – ok, what would you like to drink, we need a drink, we need a serious conversation!
Me (nervously) – oh, what do we need to talk about that’s so serious?
Cousin – about me, carrying a baby for you…….
That’s how the conversation went last night, late last night, after a couple of bottles of wine. After spending an afternoon with my cousin and a few friends and all of their 4 & 5 year old children. After everybody had left, she dropped that bomb on me.
Would I do it? I don’t know, can I say not right now? Can I say I’m not sure, can I think about it? Without sounding ungrateful. Well thats what I said anyway. Because I don’t know anymore, I don’t know if its really what I want anymore. All I do know is that I realize last night that my cousin is the sister I never had. That the love she has for me is so complete that she would, despite the fact that she hated being pregnant and hated giving birth, offer her uterus to me.
In fact, she is prepared to take it a step further, when during our discussion last night, I explained to her that after last year, I can never go through all the unpleasant injections and drugs and egg retrievals ever again. Her response was: Ok, lets turkey baste then, use my eggs with your husbands sperm!!!
I am so touched that somebody would be willing to do that for me. I’ve said it before, I said it last night and I’ll say it again here, on some levels I’m grateful for the lessons that infertility has taught me, because one of the lessons is just how loved I am by those that know me.