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The Things I Know For Certain – Part II

Cousin – do you want a whiskey?

Me – no I don’t drink whiskey.

Cousin – ok, what would you like to drink, we need a drink, we need a serious conversation!

Me (nervously) – oh, what do we need to talk about that’s so serious?

Cousin – about me, carrying a baby for you…….

That’s how the conversation went last night, late last night, after a couple of bottles of wine. After spending an afternoon with my cousin and a few friends and all of their 4 & 5 year old children. After everybody had left, she dropped that bomb on me.

Would I do it? I don’t know, can I say not right now? Can I say I’m not sure, can I think about it? Without sounding ungrateful. Well thats what I said anyway. Because I don’t know anymore, I don’t know if its really what I want anymore. All I do know is that I realize last night that my cousin is the sister I never had. That the love she has for me is so complete that she would, despite the fact that she hated being pregnant and hated giving birth, offer her uterus to me.

In fact, she is prepared to take it a step further, when during our discussion last night, I explained to her that after last year, I can never go through all the unpleasant injections and drugs and egg retrievals ever again. Her response was: Ok, lets turkey baste then, use my eggs with your husbands sperm!!!

I am so touched that somebody would be willing to do that for me. I’ve said it before, I said it last night and I’ll say it again here, on some levels I’m grateful for the lessons that infertility has taught me, because one of the lessons is just how loved I am by those that know me.

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9 Comments

  • Reply charne

    that is so wonderful of your cousin… but yes you right its a lot to think about….

    you really are loved and are blessed to have a cousin like her

    thinking of you

    xxx

    August 11, 2008 at 8:58 am
  • Reply Shell

    Wow Sharon, I often just read your blog without posting a comment.. Today I have to delurke to post.. your cousin is really brave to offer you her eggs and her womb!! I am sure you are totally blown away, with so much to consider!
    Wishing you Godly wisdom and courage as you decide what you want to do..

    Shell

    August 11, 2008 at 1:34 pm
  • Reply Michelle

    What does one say when you get an offer like that with so much love?? Wow!! You truly are blessed to be loved as much as you are Shaz. Take all the time you need to make your decision and you know you will do whats right for you and all concerned. Good luck!

    August 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm
  • Reply samcy

    You are very loved by all those who know you, and this conversation proves that… It gives you a LOT to think about as well and to know that you have this to “fall back on” must be a bit of a mind swell actually…

    I pray that you get clear guidance on this matter my friend, you’re in my thoughts and prayers as always.

    xxx

    August 11, 2008 at 3:36 pm
  • Reply Sian

    Sharon, I soooooo identify with the – ‘what do you say’. I was offered smething similiar last week. And my reaction was the same as yours. Thank-you goodness for the love. The love is what keeps us sane.

    August 11, 2008 at 3:41 pm
  • Reply shawna

    Wow! That is so amazing. Isn’t it humbling when you view a relationship as one thing and then discover that it is something even deeper? To think that in that moment your relationship changed, for the better, forever.

    Plus, every time you want something from now on you can ask for it and say, “Can you please come help me (insert unpleasant chore here). I normally wouldn’t ask but since you were willing to do the whole baby thing this is really a small request.” You can ask for all kinds of things that will just pale in comparison. (ok, I am just kidding. That would be tacky and wrong, humorous, but wrong.)

    August 11, 2008 at 4:43 pm
  • Reply eggorchicken

    Wow, you truly are blessed to have such wonderful family.
    And yes, of course you’re right to say you need time to think about it. What a huge step – and what a potentially huge breakthrough.

    Good luck with your decision!!!!

    xx

    August 11, 2008 at 4:53 pm
  • Reply Murgdan

    Wow. That’s incredible–but I can only imagine opens up a whole new world of thoughts to consider…..

    August 11, 2008 at 6:18 pm
  • Reply Kim

    Good luck with your decision – it’s a tough one for you both. I wouldn’t know where to start with this one!

    August 12, 2008 at 11:16 pm
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