Did you all read the post by Rosie Writes – Dumb-ass stuff we need to stop saying to dad’s? If you didn’t. You really must do yourself a favor!
I’ve thought about this a lot myself over the years of parenting and I’ve blogged about it before. I think my husband is an amazing father. I’m not sure where my girls would be without him, I’m not sure I could have rocked this parenting gig without him.
I think the gender specific assigned roles have changed a lot since I was growing up. I think Dad’s (the good ones anyway) are way more involved in the raising of their kids than ever before. I think it’s the norm and not the exception anymore.
And then I feel bad for saying that my husband is a great dad. Because I realize I’m saying that because I’m measuring him against every crappy stereotype we’ve ever been fed about fathers, which in my experience, are simply not true.
My husband is not an accessory to parenting. In fact, there are many times when I’ve thought he was actually a better parent than me.
When the loom band crazy hit…. who figured out how to create loom band jewelry? Yup, Dad.
Who runs the three legged race at every party and school sports day? Yup… Dad does.
Who dresses up like a fairy to make his girls laugh? Yip, Dad does.
Who is always there for his girls? Dad is. Who has helped feed, bath and change nappies from day 1? Yip, Dad has.
Who spent long nights when we were all knocked down by a stomach virus? Setting his alarm for 4 hourly wake up’s throughout the night to administer suppositories to his sick children? Yip, Dad does.
Who is always available to help build a puzzle, colour in a picture, learn her ABC’s or learn to write? Yip, Dad is.
Who works for his family every minute of every day? Yip, he does. Every day, he helps, and not because I asked, simply because he does, get everyone out of bed, get kids dressed for school, work on show & tell projects. Brush hair and make pony tales, choose clothes and get our girls dressed? Yip, he does.
And yes, he does end every night, lying on the couch and scratching his balls just like Rosie suggests, but that’s only after he’s been a 100% present and active member of our parenting equation.
And I know so many of you who have husbands and partners who are also actively present in parenting of you child(ren) today. So let’s drop the stereotypes. And celebrate our husbands and partners for the men that they are, I don’t want to say amazing dad’s but present and active parents, able to interchange and fulfill not just the roll of dad, but of mom too, actually just of parent.
Our husbands and partners are no longer parenting accessories.
Edited: I wrote this post over the weekend with so much love and respect in my heart. Then my husband threw me a curve ball last night, while creating the 50 million V-day cards both girls require for every living, breathing person at their school and I was flustered as all hell (because you know how much I love crafts). He told me to just chill, he will help and we’ll bat this one out the park… his words… not mine. What followed was 2 hours of me freaking out over the amount of glitter being tossed around my home & getting stuck in every nook & cranny. Surrounded by a small rain forest’s worth of red paper and crafts, while my husband was present, he sat on his phone googling how to set up Cromecast and when I called him out on it he said he would help me now now, he just needs to go to the bathroom (you know, that time you spend there taking a breather while reading the back of an aerosol can?). Let’s just say I made murder on my mind and tears in my eyes!