I’m not going to lie… adjusting to being a mom of two, a family of four, has been tough. Really really tough. Just as tough as adjusting to being a new parent. It has put a strain on our relationship, made bonding with Hannah difficult and even taken it’s toll on Ava and none of it has anything to do with having another person in our home, but more to do with who that person is. Hannah is a demanding child. She cries… a lot, she is very demanding of my time. I’m beginning to think that when she looks at me, she see’s a giant cheeseburger because if it’s anywhere near meal time and I make a move to leave her side, she goes ballistic. She’s struggled with some sensory issues and settling into our home and family.
Going through the motions of caring for her has been a piece of pie, we know what we’re doing and Walter is a very hands on Daddy, so our family runs like a well oiled machine, seeing to Hannah’s physical needs has been easy, but seeing to her emotional needs has been really really tough. I have failed her in so many ways over and over again over the last 5 months.
But we finally seem to have turned a corner. Since her bout of pneumonia, she is like a changed child. It’s as if something has clicked within her over the past two weeks, like she suddenly feels like she belongs, is a part of our family, not the 4th child in a family of 3 but part of us, part of who we are. And its been a joy to watch.
She has gone from being a very silent child, aside from all the crying, who rarely smiled & never laughed to an absolute chatter box. Her favourite sound is da da da da da and she talks NON stop and everything makes her smile and she gives these great big belly laughs that we have never ever heard before.
This morning, after I gave her her bottie, she was playing on the carpet while we were organising our breakfasts, I noticed her watching me and I waved to her and was shocked when she gave me the hugest, toothless grin and waved back. To finally have her interact with us, talk to us and share laughter with us has warmed my heart and finally brought about the bonding that both Walter and I have yearned for.
She loves her daddy and starts laughing as soon as he makes a move towards her. She listens to us, she interacts with us and finally she is starting to feel apart of us.
Welcome to our family, my happy little bird!