I’m sure almost all Mom’s would nod their head’s in agreement with this picture. I get it I really do. Most Mom’s bodies are wonder works that housed the most incredible miracle. So I totally get that this picture would be doing the rounds on social media and that 99.9% of women would agree with it.
But it bothers me. It bothers me that this is yet another example of how society see’s motherhood. It bothers me that so much emphasis is placed on pregnancy as part of motherhood. Sure, pregnancy is part of the journey to motherhood for a large % of mothers, but pregnancy is not what makes a mom.
I’ve really struggled with whether or not to post this post, because I don’t want to be seen as being a whiny cry baby. But, I also call myself an adoption champion and part of the reason why I write this blog is to educate people about adoption and about adoptive mothers and what its like to be on an alternative path, to be travelling down a fork on the road less travelled and so in order to be true to that, I have to express my feelings and views on this matter.
This picture is beautiful and it depicts the miracle of pregnancy and not motherhood. For me, this picture, as a fellow adoptive mom so rightly pointed out to me, depicts motherhood:
Society really does need to take a long look at what the definition of a mom is. We only have to turn to the news to find the most appalling examples of mothers, women who once carried their miracle within their womb, who’s bodies once housed 4 hands, 4 feet etc, but who have turned into the most appalling women, not worthy of being called Mom. Women who abuse and neglect their children, women who never put the well being of their children before their own. Women who expose their children to all kinds of horrors. They get to call themselves mom, because they got to experience a miracle within their own bodies.
I never experienced the divine miracle of pregnancy, not to full term anyway. But I am far more a Mom than the women I’ve described above. I put my child’s well being above my own, I would never willingly place her in harms way, I would never abuse or neglect her, I would lay down my life to save her. I am a Mom.
I have always believed that what makes someone a Mom is the experience of motherhood and not pregnancy, I really wish that society would embrace motherhood that way more, so that those of us who are mothers without pregnancy wouldn’t feel so marginalized.
I really struggle with my sense of worth as a mother and this is largely in part my own fault, because I take on board too much of what society considers the norm when the norm does not fit me.
What do you think makes someone a Mom?